Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/86913
4B Daily News– Wednesday, October 10, 2012 FEATURES Coed blows off parents to go to Hawaii Dear Annie: My hus- band and I have a 20-year- old daughter, ''Brianna.'' We pay for her private col- lege tuition, as well as all of her expenses. invited for a weeklong trip to Hawaii with her boyfriend's family. She decided to go without dis- cussing it with us. We had made plans to get her a new apartment that week so she could move in prior to classes starting, and she totally blew us off. In August, Brianna was Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I am so hurt by this. It seems dis- respectful to us and to the commit- ment she has as a daughter. I have communicated very little with her since she left for school. How can I let her know this behavior is unac- ceptable? I am also disappointed in her boyfriend, who has known us long enough to be more sensitive to our family. What should I do? — A Mom Dear Mom: Yes, it was rude that Brianna did not discuss the change in plans with you, but she is trying to assert her independence, and we recommend you let her. That means she should make more of her own decisions, and you need to stop pay- ing for them. If Brianna receives a free trip to Hawaii and blows off apartment hunting, let her handle her own living arrangements. Don't do it for her or fret that she won't have a place to live. She'll manage. By Jennifer Cooper Social Security district man- ager in Redding Are you looking to replace your Social Security card just because you don't have it? Then rest assured: you really don't need to replace it. What's most important is that you remember your Social Security number. Remember, during your formal education, when you used to memorize passages Let her find a part-time job to pay for things you don't want to finance. Help her become a responsible, mature adult instead of a dependent child. You'll be grateful later. Dear Annie: I've been married to ''Charlie'' for 35 years. He is now semi- retired and works an after- noon shift three days a week. He wakes up minutes before going to work and comes home an hour before my bedtime. On his days off, he sleeps until dinnertime. He says there is no reason to get up during the day. I have tried staying up later, but I get too sleepy. I am in my 50s now, and the kids have left the nest. I've made lots of friends who are avail- able during the day, but I don't want to keep living this way. I miss my husband. Charlie and I have been to counseling numerous times, but it hasn't changed anything. What do I do? — Lonely in Kentucky Dear Kentucky: Charlie would rather sleep late than spend time with you. It could be that he's avoiding you, is depressed or that his internal clock is simply set later. You could try to change your sleep habits to match his, waking up later so you aren't too tired to stay up until the wee hours. Counseling helps only if both parties agree to work on what needs to be changed. If Charlie won't from a book, or answers for a test? In the same way, you should memorize your Social Security number. Knowing your Social Secu- rity number is important when it comes to work, taxes, banking, and other types of business. Treat your number as confidential information and keep it pro- tected. Memorizing your number means you don't need to carry your Social Security card with you unless you need to show it address this, you can get counseling on your own and decide whether you will put up with the current sit- uation in order to stay married. If you opt to stick around, adjust your attitude so that your focus is not on Charlie and his sleep habits, but on whatever makes you happy when you're awake. Dear Annie: I am writing about the letter from ''His Mom,'' whose 15-year-old son is having sex with his 15-year-old girlfriend. They wanted to know who is responsible for paying for the girl's birth control pills. boy, I'd like to say that what I loved about this letter is that both kids had talked to their parents about having sex. That is amazing and says a lot about both sets of parents. Kudos to them. Here's my simple response: I think the boy should pay for con- doms that he assiduously wears, and the girl should pay for her birth control pills. It provides double pro- tection for pregnancy and the added benefit of STD protection. — Jen from Connecticut As the mother of a 15-year-old Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Social Security card and number lesson to your employer. Keep it in a safe place with your other important papers. If you really do need to get a replacement card, it's easy to apply for a new one. Simply complete an Appli- cation for a Social Security Card (Form SS-5) and show us original documents proving your U.S. citizen- ship or immigration status, age, and identity. The appli- cation includes examples of documents you may need; you can find the application at www.socialsecurity.gov/ssn umber. Then, take or mail your completed application and documents to your local Social Security office. We will mail your Social Security card to you. If your card is lost or stolen, you can apply for a replacement for free. How- ever, with some exceptions, you are limited to three replacement cards in a year and 10 during your lifetime. Learn more at www.socialsecurity.gov. Low testosterone can indicate andropause TOR K: I'm a man in my early 50s. Lately, my sex drive isn't what it used to be. Plus, I'm irritable and depressed. Could I have low testosterone? DEAR DOC- ER: Yes, you could, but that's not the only possible explanation of your symptoms. There are some rare diseases that can cause very low blood levels of testosterone and a host of symptoms. I won't be talking about those in this column. Instead, I'm talking about a more common condition. Testosterone is the major sex hormone in men. As men get older, testosterone production falls. If it falls low enough, it can cause some of the symptoms you described. Testosterone plays a number of important roles, even after puberty. It affects muscle size and strength, bone growth and strength, sex drive (libido), sperm produc- tion and mood. DEAR READ- Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. In fact, some experts call this reduction in testosterone, and the symptoms it can cause, "andropause." The main symptoms of andropause include: — low sex — low energy; drive; (difficulty having an erection); — erectile dysfunction mass. — decreased muscle A cascade of chemical signals leads to the pro- duction of testosterone. One part of the brain (the hypothalamus) sends a signal to another part (the pituitary gland). The pituitary gland then relays signals to the testes to produce testos- terone. As blood levels of testosterone rise, a "feedback loop" kicks in: When levels rise high enough, the brain tem- porarily shuts down the signals that lead to more testosterone. When blood levels fall, the brain turns the signals back on. During teenage years and early in adult life, this signaling system works fine. However, for reasons we don't under- stand, as men get older the pituitary gland sends fewer signals and the testes produce less testosterone. It's similar to what happens during menopause in women, when the brain stops sig- naling the ovaries to make female hormones. There are many other causes of these symp- toms. For example, men start losing muscle mass as they get older, even if their testosterone levels are normal. And depres- sion is a common cause of low sex drive, low energy and erectile dys- function. In fact, most men with these symp- toms have causes other than low testosterone. However, if a man with these symptoms has low blood levels of testosterone, and if these symptoms improve when a man is given testos- terone replacement, he is probably experiencing andropause. Testosterone replacement can be given through testosterone injections or a patch. Testosterone treatment has some potential side effects. Most doctors are reluctant to prescribe testosterone for a man who has prostate cancer, or who has several close relatives with prostate cancer. The concern is that the testosterone hor- mone will encourage can- cer cells to grow. The evi- dence in support of this is, in my opinion, not clear- cut, but it's a real concern. On my website (AskDoctorK.com), I've included some questions and answers about testos- terone symptoms written by my colleague Dr. Abraham Morgentaler in his book "Testosterone for Life." Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Education News? clerk@redbluffdailynews.com