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4B Daily News – Tuesday, October 9, 2012 FEATURES Reader shares his story of depression Dear Annie: I want to share my story of depres- sion — and hope — so that it might help others. I'm nearly 50 now, but only recently did I recog- nize the depression that has plagued my life. I had the symptoms for decades: bursts of anger, loss of appetite, lack of interest in work and activities, avoid- ing people, constantly thinking about death. A few years ago, it hit me hard. For weeks, I couldn't leave my bed, and suicidal thoughts filled my mind. I was a ''dead man walking.'' My emotions were burned away, and I saw no point in living. Finally, I began seeing a thera- pist on a weekly basis. Progress was slow, but each bit of relief was a stepping-stone out of the darkness. I learned that you have to look after yourself. Overworking, not eating right, lack of exercise, not enough sunshine and cutting yourself off from social situations all feed depression. If you can get out of bed and get out the door — if only for a little while — that's a major thing. National Depression Screening Day is Thursday, October 11. I recently found out about it from a friend. I wish I'd known about it years ago and taken a screening. Readers can go to HelpYour- selfHelpOthers.org and find a near- by screening location or take a free, anonymous screening online. They By Jennifer Cooper Social Security district manager in Redding begin. giving has virtually become a holiday of its own. "Black Friday" is the busiest shopping day of the year, with people lining up at midnight for door-bust- ing deals as they begin the busy holiday shopping sea- son. Let the shopping season The day after Thanks- Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I'm alive today because I managed to get help in time, but I lost years of real living before I understood that I had depression. I strongly urge anyone reading this who even suspects they might have depression to do a screening. Sincerely — Mike Stephens Dear Mike: Thank you for sharing your story. Depression affects millions of Americans from all walks of life and all demographics. National Depression Screening Day can be enormously helpful for those who are concerned about depression. We hope our readers will check HelpY- ourselfHelpOthers.org to find out about a screening. Dear Annie: What do I tip when eating at a buffet where the server takes the drink orders but does noth- ing else? What about at a Japanese restaurant where the server takes our orders and serves the meal, but the sushi chef prepares the food? Our favorite Japanese place has a tip jar at the sushi bar. I feel a tip should be left for both the server and the chef, but I don't know how to divide it. I was told that the sushi chefs keep their tips and the others are split. I'd appreciate some guid- ance. — Liz Dear Liz: At a buffet, etiquette also can find out what to do next. experts recommend a 10 percent tip (on the pre-tax amount) because the And the Monday after that has become a virtual holiday, so to speak. "Cyber Monday" is the day web-savvy people search for deals on the Internet. But there is more than one way to find value on the Internet. For example, Social Security offers many online services to the general public — and they are free! Not only that, but doing business online with Social Security will save you time and money. And it's so easy to do. Here are some of the most popular services you'll find at www.socialsecurity.gov. 1. The online Social Security Statement is a hot new service that is a big hit with the millions of people who've used it since its launch last May. Your online Statement provides you with a record of your past earnings, and it uses those earnings along with projected earnings for future years to give you accurate estimates of future Social Security ben- efits. Get your Statement at www.socialsecurity.gov/m ystatement. 2. The Retirement Esti- mator is an easy way to get an instant, personalized estimate of your future Social Security benefits. Just key in some basic information and the Esti- mator will use information on your Social Security record, along with what you input, to give you a server takes drink orders and clears the table. If you sit at a sushi bar where the food is served directly to you, tip the chef on the food and the server on your drinks. If the server brings you the food, tip the server. Tip jars, whether at a sushi bar or a coffee shop, do not obligate you to leave anything. However, if the ser- vice (or sushi) was exceptional or complicated, or if you are a regular customer, you may wish to do so. Dear Annie: I would like to respond to ''The Drunk's Wife.'' My 67-year-old husband came home many nights so drunk he could barely stand up. After putting up with this for 40 years, I finally had enough. I told him that I loved him, but the next time it happened, I'd be gone. Two weeks later, he came home toasted, and I packed a bag and left. He called all night, begging me to come back. The fol- lowing day, we talked. I said I'd return, but there would be no more second chances. He knew I meant it. That was two years ago. He hasn't been drunk since, and our marriage is better than ever. — Stuck to My Guns Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Find true value this cyber Monday benefit estimate on the spot. You even can experi- ment with different scenar- ios, such as changing your future earnings and retire- ment date. Check it out in English at www.socialse- curity.gov/estimator or in Spanish at www.seguroso- cial.gov/calculador. retire, apply at www.socialsecurity.gov/a pplyonline. 3. The online Retire- ment Application is the most convenient way to apply for Social Security retirement benefits. You can apply from the com- fort of your home — it's fast, easy, and secure. It's so easy, in fact, that it can take you as little as 15 minutes to apply online. In most cases, after your application is submitted electronically, you're done. There are no forms to sign and usually no doc- umentation is required. Social Security will process your application and contact you if any fur- ther information is needed. When you're ready to 4. Business Services Online is our one-stop shop for small business owners. The site allows organizations and autho- rized individuals to con- duct business with and submit confidential infor- mation to Social Security. Employers can use it to file W-2s for their employees the fast, convenient, and paperless way — online. Visit Business Services Online at www.socialsecu- rity.gov/bso. In the American Cus- tomer Satisfaction Index, Social Security's online services continuously receive the highest ratings in both the public and pri- vate sectors, year after year. To learn more about all you can do on Cyber Mon- day, or any day, visit www.socialsecurity.gov/on lineservices. Strategies to cope with osteoarthritis TOR K: I was just diagnosed with osteoarthritis. What can I do at home to manage my discomfort? DEAR READ- ER: Osteoarthritis is the most com- mon kind of arthri- tis. Tens of mil- lions of us in the United States have it, and it becomes more common as we get older. For some people it causes just occa- sional aches and pains. But for others, pain and stiffness can make it diffi- cult to perform the daily tasks they've always taken for granted. Simple activi- ties such as getting dressed or cooking dinner can become major efforts. There are several ways that you can make coping with arthritis a little easier: — Regular exercise. It may be counterintuitive, but regular physical activi- ty not only helps maintain joint function, it also relieves stiffness and decreases pain and fatigue. Exercise increases range of motion, strengthens muscles and builds endurance. You should feel the results with even an hour or two of moder- ate physical activity each week. I have pretty bad arthritis in my hip and spine, and there's no doubt in my mind that my regu- lar exercise program keeps me limber and relatively pain-free. DEAR DOC- — Achieving and maintaining a normal body weight. Bearing excess weight results in more stress on joints and more pain. Your joints will let you know of their appreciation if you lose some weight. Yes, I know it's easier said than done, but many of my patients with arthritis have done it and are delighted with the result. variety of splints are avail- able for hands and fingers, wrists, elbows, knees and ankles. These may help to ease pain and increase mobility. Using a cane can substantially relieve pres- sure on hips and knees. An increasing array of helpful — Assistive devices. 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Prices good for 6 months Exp. 12-01-12 528-1456 BAKER ROAD STORAGE Your Clock Repair Shop Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. gadgets, from jar openers to dusters, are also available. — Acupunc- ture can signifi- cantly improve the pain of hip or knee osteoarthritis. If you are consider- ing acupuncture, find a licensed practitioner. py. A warm shower or bath can work wonders, espe- cially before and after exercising. Hot packs, moist/dry heating pads, or even a towel warmed in the oven or microwave can offer instant relief. — Cooling. Gel-filled cold packs, coolant sprays, ice chips in a plastic bag and packages of frozen peas can soothe hot, painful joints. Don't leave them on longer than 20 minutes. — Heat thera- — Supplements. Glu- cosamine and chondroitin shouldn't hurt you, but their effectiveness is still under study. My interpre- tation of the published studies is that they don't offer much relief for the average person with osteoarthritis. 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