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4B Daily News – Thursday, October 4, 2012 FEATURES Widow moves on without skipping a beat passed away last year from cancer. Not even two months after his death, my daughter-in-law began dat- ing a married man. She then became pregnant and moved in with him and my two young granddaughters. She had the baby 11 months after my son's death. Dear Annie: My son I am upset about her choice to move on so quick- ly. Worse, she has told my granddaughters that they can call this new man ''Daddy'' if they want to. I have a big problem with this. First, he is still married to his wife and has two other children. And second, these two little girls just lost their father and haven't had a chance to grieve or process what's going on. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar I am not going to judge the Other Man. He could very well turn out to be a good guy who simply needed to grow up. But I worry about my grandchildren. Everyone tells me not to say anything because she might take the girls from me. (She has done that before.) But I don't know how much longer I can keep my mouth closed. — Unhappy Grandmother daughter-in-law's behavior seems disrespectful to your son's memory and also to his children. But we sus- pect she is afraid of being alone and raising two children by herself. Although we understand the desire Dear Grandmother: Your have two grandmothers. One has dementia, and the other has neglect- ed her health to the point where dia- betes keeps her from moving around. She's stopped bathing because getting into the shower is too difficult, and she refuses my father's suggestion to have an aide. I haven't visited either grand- mother in two months. I want to remember the first one the way she was. She doesn't know who I am half the time anyway. She some- times hallucinates, although pleas- antly. She told us a long-dead politi- cian had dropped by. I've always had difficulty being around the other because she spends all her time watching the news and hears only the worst things. My parents aren't happy about this. One of my grandfathers spent the last three years of his life sick with every known illness, some of which were gross to see. He died with all of us at his side, so I got to watch him turn into a bloated, to speak up, we can assure you that it will serve no pur- pose. Please don't create a situation that will estrange you from your granddaugh- ters. They are going to need you, and you will want to be around to help them remem- ber their father. Do what you must in order to remain in their lives, even if it means keeping your opinions to yourself. Feel free to write us anytime you need to vent. Dear Annie: I'm 34 and swollen, ulcerated heaving corpse. That's why I'd rather not see my grandmothers anymore. Do any of your readers have the same prob- lem? — N.Y., N.Y. Dear N.Y.: Of course they do, and some choose to visit anyway, and others can't be bothered. But we think it says a lot about one's character to visit these family mem- bers because it's the right thing to do, whether it makes you comfort- able or not. It's a kindness to your grandmothers and to your parents. Please try. to ''Cape Coral, Fla.,'' whose son is doing poorly in his college math classes. College is not high school. Too Dear Annie: I'd like to respond Annual eye exams protect diabetics TOR K: I was recently diagnosed with Type 2 dia- betes. Can you explain how dia- betes affects vision? DEAR DOC- many students simply come to class unprepared and then blame the teacher. At the college level, stu- dents must take responsibility for their own learning. If the professors do not return his exam papers, he should go to the department head. The U.S. is the only country I know of where people proudly proclaim that they hate math, don't under- stand it and don't care. — Retired Community College Teacher Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. School readiness starts at birth Research shows that a child's brain develops most dramatically during the early years of life. A child's experiences and the environment in which they live help build the structure and hard- wire that child for life. A baby's brain is wiring faster than any other time. According to the Child Welfare Information Gate- way, at its peak rate, "the cerebral cortex of a healthy toddler may create 2 million synapses per second." By age 3, a child's brain has reached nearly 90 per- cent of its adult size; the growth in each part of the brain depends almost entirely on the stimulation it receives during these peak years of develop- ment. recommended schedule of well-baby exams and immunizations, being careful to not miss any. Start seeing the dentist by the first tooth or first birthday and twice a year after. Oral health is very important for your child's health and their ability to learn. First 5 Tehama has assembled some easy ways for parents and care- givers to help with that important brain stimula- tion for a campaign called Read, Sing and Play – declaring School Readi- ness begins at birth. Research that shows young children who have had this early stimulation will enter kindergarten better prepared and more likely to succeed and by doing these early activities will provide lifelong bene- fits. knows reading to children improves their ability to learn – but you can just look at a book with no words – making up stories • Read: Everyone child's first and most important teacher. Make sure you give your child the best possible start in life — begin their school readiness training right from birth. If you follow these simple guidelines, you will begin building that school readiness foundation that is so important to the future — this important time in life will impact them through adulthood and you are the only one that can make it happen. As a parent, you are a Please join us at the October 13th and pointing out various things in the pictures too. • Sing Songs: Sing silly songs, if you don't know any songs then make them up – sing about taking a bath, bed time, going for a ride. The content is less impor- tant than just doing it with your child. • Play games: This Lil • Doctor – Dentist: Discuss any concerns about your baby's health or development with your doctor and follow their Piggy is a great beginner game or perhaps Patty Cake. With toddlers you can introduce Ring Around The Rosy, or other cultural games that your family knows. Fair and Health Spree is set for Oct. 13 at the Tehama District Fair- ground in Red Bluff begin- ning at 8 a.m. and running till 1 p.m. First 5 Tehama encour- ages all parents and care- givers to Read, Sing, and Play with children today and everyday — and don't forget to visit the doctor and dentist to ensure an optimal learning founda- tion. For more information on this campaign or other First 5 Tehama programs, call 528-1395 or visit www.first5tehama.com. The annual Children's DEAR READ- ER: Both of the common types of diabetes, Type 1 (which usually begins in childhood) and Type 2 (which usually begins in adulthood), can affect vision in several ways. After 20 years of having Type 2 diabetes, most people have problems. But the risk can be reduced, as I'll explain. The most serious eye problem resulting from the uncontrolled high blood sugar levels that can occur with diabetes is dia- betic retinopathy. It can cause severe vision loss and even blindness. Diabetic retinopathy occurs when high blood sugar damages small blood vessels in the retina. (The retina is the light- sensitive tissue in the back of the eye that sends images to the brain.) The damaged vessels leak fluid and blood into the retina. They also can close entirely, robbing the retina of its blood supply. When your doctor looks inside your eyes, he or she looks for the telltale marks and scars that diabetic retinopathy leaves on the retina. eye If the fluid or blood leaks near the macula — the part of the retina responsible for sharp, cen- tral vision — sight becomes impaired. When fluid leaks into the center of the macula, it can swell, blurring vision. This is called macular edema. vessel closes, the retina tries to repair itself by sprouting new blood ves- sels to replace the dam- aged ones. That's another thing your doctor is look- ing for when he looks in your eyes. Unfortunately, When a damaged blood Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. vision loss. You can help prevent diabetic retinopathy by carefully controlling your blood sugar levels. The other key to prevention is an annual eye exam, which can detect even the earliest signs of retinopa- thy. It is particularly important to spot the growth of new blood ves- sels as early as possible, because they can be treat- ed with lasers. these new blood vessels grow abnormally and can cause serious problems. They can extend into the gel-filled com- partment of the eye in front of the retina. If these fragile new ves- sels bleed, they can cause sudden Laser treatments are the standard of care. Focal laser treatments seal off individual blood vessels in macular edema. This slows leakage and decreases fluid around the retina. Scatter laser treat- ment is used for advanced retinopathy. Laser burns in the outer edges of the retina prevent new blood vessel growth. A new class of medi- cines, called anti-VEGF drugs, block a chemical signal that stimulates blood vessel growth. I'm proud to say that these powerful new drugs come from research done here at Harvard Medical School several decades ago. We have more informa- tion on diabetic retinopathy in our Special Health Report, "The Aging Eye." (Learn more about this report at AskDoctorK.com, or call 877-649-9457 toll- free to order it.) Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Clear Creek cleanup Volunteers are needed to help clean up the Lower Clear Creek area in a project set for Saturday, Oct. 13, as part of the National Public Lands Day observance. The Bureau of Land Management, Western Shasta Resource Conservation District and Horsetown Clear Creek Preserve will host the event. Working from the banks of Clear Creek and along Clear Creek Road, volunteers will pick up litter, scour off graffiti and repair hiking trails in the day-long pro- ject. The BLM will provide gloves, tools, safety equip- ment and water. Participants should meet at 9 a.m. at the Horsetown Clear Creek Preserve parking lot, seven miles west of Highway 273 on Clear Creek Road. They day will conclude at 2 p.m. with a barbecue, including prize giveaways, at the Horsetown Clear Creek Preserve. Each volunteer will receive a one-day pass good for free entry at any public land fee site. More information on the Redding area event is available from Bill Kuntz or Shawn Stapleton at the BLM Redding Field Office, (530) 224-2100. DAILYNEWS RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY redbluffdailynews.com Subscribe Now! To get started, go to: www.redbluffdailynews.com/websubscribe