Up & Coming Weekly

Healthcare for Fun and Profit by PITT DICKEY It’s Apocalypse Now time in Tea Bag Town. Surprisingly enough, the sun came up on the Monday after the Healthcare Reform bill passed the House of Representatives. The Earth remained on its axis and did not spin wildly out past the planet formerly known as Pluto. Only a random volcano in Iceland erupted in sympathy with the Tea Baggers who opposed to the bill. Like Mark Twain’s premature obituary, reports of Healthcare Reform’s death were greatly exaggerated. What a colorful time it was leading up to the non-killing of the bill. The Tea Baggers were at their peak steroid rage mode egged on by such exemplars of civil discourse as Representative Michelle Bachman and Texas Representative Randy Neugebauer. Michelle demanding a return to the good old days when poor people were free to die of treatable illnesses. Randy yelling “Baby Killer” at Congressman Bart Stupek who was making a speech in the House Chamber. Republican Congressmen cheering for drunks in the gallery of the House of Representatives who tried to break up the congressional process by yelling at stuff they didn’t like. Civility and decorum are such tired concepts. What a festive time it was on the mall. Tea Baggers parading with goofy signs sporting President Obama wearing a Hitler mustache and “Get your Government Hands off my Medicare.” It was a Hot Tub Time Machine trip to the 1960s when black people had the nerve to want to vote and attend good schools. Watching the news during the vote was a return to the curious days of segregation now, segregation tomorrow and segregation forever as Tea Baggers hurled the N-word at Congressmen Andre Carson and Congressman John Lewis and spit on Congressman Emmanuel Cleaver. The Tea Baggers were attempting to discourage these guys who were guilty of being Congressmen while Black from voting for the bill. It didn’t work. Another set of Tea Baggers yelled faggot and homo at Barney Frank who was guilty of being a Congressman while homosexual. The Tea Baggers imitated King Canute who stood on a beach and ordered the tide not to come in. The tide came in despite Canute’s command. The bill passed despite the tide of insults and spit hurled at the Congressdudes. The Tea Baggers A House Not So Divided “BUY ORIGINAL, BUY LOCAL” Arts Council of Fayetteville/Cumberland County • 301 Hay St. See the Cumberland County Schools High School Juried Art Exhibition through April 16. For gallery hours, visit www.TheArtsCouncil.com.              3006 Bragg Blvd. Fayetteville, NC 910.323.1791 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ALL TEAM SPORTS          Mention this ad and receive 20% OFF* your next team purchase. *Restrictions apply. “TWO are better than ONE”  5613 Rockfish Road Hope Mills, NC 910.609.1791 Cape Fear Studios • 148 Maxwell St. • 433-2986 • capefearstudios.com Ceramics of Warner Hyde from Meredith College. On display until April 20, 2010. Monday through Friday, 11 to 5 pm, Saturday 10 to 4pm. Fayetteville Art Guild Gallery ONE13 • 113 Gillespie Street • 910-223-ARTS S.T.U.N. art presents “INDIE VISUAL” An Exhibition of Up and Coming Area Artists. extended Friday hours in April: Performing Artist Night—April 2, 7PM—9PM. Olde Town Gallery • 124 Maxwell St. • 485-4378 Redefined by Jeniffer Hutchins. On display until May 26, 2010. FTCC Gallery • 2201 Hull Rd. • Rm 366A • "GRAFFITI" from 5-7 PM, Friday, April 2nd. Graffiti art and related styles from this region and the West Coast. Gallery 208 208 Rowan St. • 484-6200 • presents the art of “David McCormick” Monday - Friday, 9am – 5pm The Visual Arts Alliance (VAA) is dedicated to building a vibrant and enduring visual arts community. Alliance Members: Arts Council of Fayetteville/Cumberland County, Cape Fear Studios, Fayetteville Arts Guild, Fayetteville Museum of Art, Olde Town Gallery Fayetteville Technical Community College, and Rosenthal Gallery Fayetteville State University MARCH 31 - APRIL 6, 2010 UCW 7 were cranky because it’s just not much fun being on the wrong side of the tide of history. As wild and crazy as the Tea Baggers were, they are mere bunny rabbits compared to what happened in the Middle Ages when political and religious opponents did not agree. Let us consider Otto III, a Holy Roman Emperor. He appointed his German cousin to be Pope Gregory V in the year 997. The local Romans led by Senator Crescentius were not happy with a German Pope in Rome. They formed a mob and chased Gregory V out of town. The Roman Senate then appointed a hometown boy, Johannes, to be the new Pope. When Otto III got wind of this change of Pope he was not amused. The new improved Pope offended Otto’s sense of theology. Otto shows up in Rome 14 months later with his army to decommission the new Pope. Otto cuts off the head of Senator Crescentius and twelve of his Senate buddies. The Army hangs the headless bodies of the former Senator and his gang of 12 upside down on Rome’s highest hill as a lesson in political theology. The new Pope Johannes undergoes some Medieval plastic surgery at the hands of Otto’s barbers. Johannes has his eyes gouged out and his nose and ears cut off. To show the Romans what happens when you disagree with the Holy Roman Emperor, Johannes is strapped backwards on a donkey and is ridden through Rome for the enlightenment of the local citizens as to correct political and religious thought. Who says politics and religion don’t mix well? To misquote what Hank Williams Jr. once sang, “It’s a family of man tradition.” Just don’t mess with the Holy Roman Emperor. PITT DICKEY, Contributing Writer. COMMENTS? 484-6200 ext. 222 or editor@upandcomingweekly.com.

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