FEATURES
away from my family, but try to keep in touch. The problem is my sister, ''Diane,'' who always mis- interprets what I say. Last month, for exam- ple, we were talking about Dr. Oz when I commented that we'd have to wait 20 years to see whether some of those suggestions work. That night, Diane told my brother that I said I would- n't care if she died. I tried to call, email and text to smooth things over, but she wouldn't answer. My mom doesn't want us to fight. I had no idea we were ''fighting'' until my brother told me. A week later, Diane allowed me to apologize, and things were fine, but it has happened again. I sug- gested that we limit our Thanksgiv- ing guests to the immediate family (24 people). Again, I got a call from my brother saying Diane thinks I hate her in-laws. I tried to contact her to explain, but she is ignoring me.
Dear Annie: I live far
can't help that she interprets my comments in the worst possible way. How can I end the cycle? — Not a Meanie Dear Not: Diane sounds as if she is hypersensitive and looking for excuses to be upset with you. One of the reasons she doesn't tell you directly is because she's still mulling it over, and it's much more effective if she waits and then tells your brother her own version. Then
I am tired of being the bad guy. I
Annie's Mailbox
by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar
with herself. You stay out of it. Dear Annie: I have been mar- ried to the love of my life for 30 years. About 10 years ago, we moved to be closer to friends and family. It seemed to coincide with early menopause for my wife, which brought with it zero desire for intimacy. My wife asked me whether I thought it was OK to not have sex any longer, and being an acquiescent idiot, I said ''fine.'' Now I'm frustrated and wonder- ing what the future holds. I am in my mid-60s, and my wife is in her early 50s. Do I go the rest of my life without? I don't want to have sex for its own sake. I need the other person to have some passion for me, or it's not worth having. — Lost and Needy in Missouri Dear Lost: You need to revisit this issue. No matter what you agreed to at the time, you have become increasingly resentful, and your wife deserves to know. This affects your marriage in a critical way. Unfortunately, your wife may
she punishes you by staying out of contact until you are groveling. She has her tech- nique down cold, and you fall for it every time. If you think you can dis- cuss this with her rationally, then do so. Otherwise, keep conversations short and neu- tral. If she becomes upset, send a sweet email saying you're sorry she's so unhap- py. Then leave it alone. If your brother calls, say the same thing. Let her fight
Tuesday, September 11, 2012 – Daily News 5A Sister misinterprets things I say to her
not agree to more intimacy, and even if she does, you may not get the passion you desire. Ask if she would be willing to talk to her doc- tor about it, and then please seek counseling, preferably together, and work on this.
Dear Annie: ''Miffed Guest'' said someone stood up at a wedding shower and announced that the bride didn't need to send thank-you notes. And she didn't. If that had happened to me, I would have replied, ''Obviously, the bride has received far too many gifts. I'll help out by taking mine back.''
I recently received a photo of a bridal couple holding ''thank you'' signs with their names printed on the back — no note whatsoever expressing appreciation for the gift. — What's Become of Us?
Dear What's: Some misguided people think thank-you notes are antiquated. They are not. Showing appreciation never goes out of style.
Annie's Snippet for Patriot Day (credit Thomas Bailey Aldrich): With the tears a Land hath shed/Their graves should ever be green.
Annie's Mailbox is written by
Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.
Picking the right hospital for you
If you're having a med- ical emergency, the best thing you can do is get to the nearest hospital. But if you need non-
emergency treatment, and you have time to plan, how do you find a hospi- tal that best fits your needs?
A good place to start is the Medicare website, www.Medicare.gov . There you'll find an easy-to-use tool that has quality-of-care and patient- satisfaction infor- mation on more than 4,000 hospitals around the country that participate in Medicare and Medicaid. The tool is called Hos- pital Compare. We have a similar, user-friendly tool – Nursing Home Com- pare – to find skilled nurs- ing homes. More than 17,000 skilled nursing facilities in the United States are listed. We recently redesigned and added more information to both tools.
Hospital Compare and Nursing Home Compare have two purposes. One is to help people make good decisions about where they get health care. By making quality-of-care information easily acces- sible to the public, we also hope to encourage hospitals and skilled nurs-
The Red Bluff Police Department has been receiving an increased num- ber of complaints from resi- dents regarding motorists failing to yield to pedestri- ans in crosswalks. The majority of the complaints center on the areas of Main Street, Walnut Street and Oak Street near the court- house.
ing homes to improve their performance. You don't have to be enrolled in Medicare to use Hospital Compare or Nursing Home Compare – anyone can access them. Both tools give you a good snapshot of the overall quality of care at various local hospitals and skilled nursing facili- ties.
shows, for example, how often and how quickly hospitals give recom- mended treatments for heart attack, heart failure, pneumonia, and chil- dren's asthma. It also shows the per- centage of patients who developed serious condi- tions such as bloodstream infections and bed sores while in the hospital. Such conditions are often preventable, if the hospi- tal follows best practices. You can find out how often patients returned to the hospital with the same condition, and how that rate compares with the national average. We recently began posting information on how often a hospital uses imaging procedures such as CT scans or MRIs on patients with Medicare. That's important because some imaging tests carry potential health risks,
Hospital Compare
Code outlines the violations as follow: 21950. (a) The driver of
including unnecessary exposure to radi- ation.
Hospital Compare also lets you read the responses of patients to a detailed ques- tionnaire that asks about their experiences and level of satisfac- tion.
measures that describe the quality of care in skilled nursing homes, such as the frequency of pressure sores and urinary incontinence. And we're
The questions include how well doctors and nurs- es communicat- ed with patients,
David Sayen
and whether patients' pain was well controlled. Patients also are asked if the hospital kept their room clean, and whether they received information in writing about what symptoms or health prob- lems to look out for after they were discharged. Finally, patients are
To find Hospital Com- pare and Nursing Home Compare, go to www.Medicare.gov and scroll to the bottom of the page, under "Resource Locator." We also have compare tools for home health agencies and dialy- sis centers.
now posting the full text of our inspection reports, so you can read in detail about any problems that were found at a specific nursing facility.
asked to rate their overall hospital experience on a scale of zero to 10 – and if they'd recommend that hospital to a relative or friend.
pare shows the results of health inspections and provides information on staffing, including the number of nurses, physi- cal therapists, and nursing assistants at each facility. It also has a variety of
Nursing Home Com-
a vehicle shall yield the right-of-way to a pedestrian crossing the roadway within any marked crosswalk or within any unmarked cross- walk at an intersection, except as otherwise provid- ed in this chapter.
The Traffic Unit of the police department will be focusing of these streets to increase driver's awareness through education and enforcement regarding pedestrian right of way vio- lations.
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relieve a pedestrian from the duty of using due care for his or her safety. No pedes- trian may suddenly leave a curb or other place of safety and walk or run into the path of a vehicle that is so close as to constitute an immediate hazard. No
(b) This section does not
pedestrian may unnecessar- ily stop or delay traffic while in a marked or unmarked crosswalk. (c) The driver of a vehi- cle approaching a pedestri- an within any marked or unmarked crosswalk shall exercise all due care and shall reduce the speed of the vehicle or take any other action relating to the opera- tion of the vehicle as neces- sary to safeguard the safety of the pedestrian. (d) Subdivision (b) does
not relieve a driver of a vehi- cle from the duty of exercis- ing due care for the safety of any pedestrian within any marked crosswalk or within
computer, you can call us, toll free, at 1-800- MEDICARE. We'll help you get the information you need.
If you don't have a
David Sayen is Medicare's regional administrator for Arizona, California, Hawaii, and Nevada. You can always get answers to your Medicare questions by calling 1-800-MEDICARE (1-800-633-4227).
Cops to crack down on motorists failing to yield
any unmarked crosswalk at an intersection. The fine for the above violations is listed at $229. Anyone with questions is urged to call the Red Bluff Police Department at 527- 3131.
Measures treat symptoms of hernia
TOR K: I had heartburn, and my doctor told me I have a "hiatal her- nia." I thought her- nias caused pain and swelling in the groin. Could my doctor be wrong? DEAR READ-
DEAR DOC-
ER: Any doctor's diagnosis can be wrong, present company included. Of course, I can't know for sure if your doctor's diagnosis is right, but I'll bet it is.
Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D.
There is a common condition called "inguinal hernia" (or just "hernia") in which the intestine bulges out through a hole in the muscle of the groin. That's the kind of hernia you're describing.
ferent. It's a condition that affects your stomach and esophagus. Hook the tips of your fingers underneath the lowest rib. At about that spot is the diaphragm, a flat muscle that sepa- rates your chest from your abdomen. By moving down and up, the diaphragm helps your lungs take in and blow out air.
A hiatal hernia is dif-
The diaphragm has a small hole in it. (The word "hiatal" is an ancient word for such holes in body tis- sue.) The esophagus, the tube that connects your mouth to your stomach, runs through the hole. Normally, the stomach starts just below the diaphragm. In fact, tough tissue around the hole nor- mally tethers the top of the stomach to the diaphragm, keeping the stomach below it.
sense of fullness in the upper part of the abdomen after a meal, or even nau- sea and vomiting. Usually the heartburn is felt in the abdomen, but sometimes it's felt below the breast- bone, in the chest. The symptoms are caused by gastroesophageal reflux disease, commonly called GERD. GERD often occurs in people with hiatal hernia, although many people with GERD do not have hiatal hernia. The diagnosis of a hiatal hernia sometimes can be made by a simple chest X-ray that shows part of the stomach where it shouldn't be: in your chest. Another type of X- ray, called a barium swal- low, also can pinpoint the problem. Maybe your doctor has ordered one of these studies.
many people with a hiatal hernia do not get symptoms from it. But some do, and you may be one. The symp- toms usually are heartburn, belch- ing, bloating, a
ture of hiatal her- nia on my web- site.) Fortunately,
In people with a hiatal hernia (like you, if your doctor is right), the tissue holding the stomach below the hole in the diaphragm weakens. This allows part of the stomach to slide up into your chest. That's most likely to hap- pen when you do some- thing that raises the pres- sure in your abdomen, like persistent or heavy cough- ing, vomiting, or straining while having a bowel movement. (I have a pic-
If your hiatal hernia causes reflux symptoms, such as heartburn, it may help to eat smaller, more frequent meals. Avoid eat- ing for at least two hours before going to bed, and sit up for at least one hour after eating. If these changes don't help, antacids or acid blockers usually will. Rarely, surgery may be necessary if you have per- sistent reflux or inflam- mation of the esophagus that does not heal with medication. Most of the time, however, simple measures can fix your symptoms.
Dr. Komaroff is a
physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To
send
questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115.
Foreclosure prevention
the slow, but steady crumbling effect our county has experienced due to the national housing bust. Whether your neighbor resorted to Cash for Keys, you helped your relatives move out of their American Dream, or you yourself have undergone the devastation of walking away from your home, foreclosure prevention some- how strikes a chord with each of us. In an effort to end the surge of foreclosures in our
seminar to be offered On one level or another we have all been witness to
offered in both English and Spanish. The one goal is to empower our residents to know their options and be equipped to take action. The semi- nar is intended for homeowners who are at risk of miss- ing a payment, have been served a notice of default and everything in between. If you have questions or would like to be involved, call Carrie Clark at the Job Training Center at 529- 7000.
Tehama County neighborhoods the Job Training Center has planned a foreclosure prevention seminar titled 10 Ways to Save Your Home. The event is scheduled for Sept. 26 and 27 and is
The
