Up & Coming Weekly

NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Anthropomorphizing Little Muffy: A WEEKLY HOROSCOPE February St. Petersburg Times report found several local people who regularly cook gourmet meals for their dogs and who revealed their dogs’ (or maybe just “their”) favorite recipes. “Veggie Cookies for Dogs,” for example, requires whole-wheat fl our, dried basil, dried cilantro, dried oregano, chopped carrot, green beans, tomato paste, canola oil and garlic. Asked one chef: Why feed “man’s best friend” what you wouldn’t eat yourself? [St. Petersburg Times, 2-17-10] A day spa for dogs (“Wag Style”) in Tokyo offers sessions in a hyperbaric oxygen chamber, supposedly easing doggy arthritis, healing wounds and halting aging. (Some racehorse owners are certain that the chambers help with equine muscle and joint problems, but an academic researcher told a BoingBoing.net writer that evidence of benefi t is “anecdotal.”) [BoingBoing.net, 2-23-10] Compelling Explanations At fi rst, Rev. Fred Armfi eld’s arrest for patronizing a prostitute in Greenwood, S.C., in January looked uncontroversial, with Armfi eld allegedly confessing that he had bargained Melinda “Truck Stop” Robinson down from $10 to $5 for oral sex. Several days later, however, Armfi eld formally disputed the arrest, calling himself a “descendant of the original Moro- Pithecus Disoch, Kenyapithecus and Afro Pithecus,” a “living fl esh and blood being with sovereign status,” and someone who, based on his character and community standing, should not be prosecuted. Also, he claimed that any payment to “Truck Stop” with Federal Reserve Notes did not legally constitute a purchase since such notes are not lawful money. [Index-Journal (Greenwood), 1-29-10] Lame: Glenn Armstrong, 47, had a defense ready when police accused him of taking restroom photographs of boys in Brisbane, Australia, in January. He said he was having an ongoing debate with his wife and was gathering proof that most boys are not circumcised. [News.com.au-Australian Associated Press, 1-27-10] Sheriff’s deputies in Austin, Texas, arrested Anthony Gigliotti, 17, after complaints that the teen was annoying women by following them around in public and snapping photographs of their clothed body parts. Gigliotti told one deputy that he needed the photos because the sex education at his Lake Travis High School was inadequate. [KXAN-TV (Austin), 2-2-10] Fredrick Federley, a member of the Swedish Parliament, said he has always campaigned as someone who does not take gifts from those he is responsible for regulating, but he was called out by the newspaper Aftonbladet in February for having accepted a free travel holiday from an airline. Federley denied that “he” accepted the trip. He reminded reporters that he is a notorious, fl amboyant cross-dresser, and thus that it was his alter-ego “Ursula” who received the free holiday. [The Local (Stockholm), 2-10-10] Ironies In February, the trade group Mortgage Bankers Association announced the sale of its Washington, D.C., headquarters for $41 million. The association had purchased the building in 2007, at the peak of the real estate bubble, for $79 million. [Wall Street Journal, 2-8-10] WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM www.upandcomingweekly.com ARIES - March 21 thru April 20 You have a sense of what you want this year, with heart and mind already working as one. Yet no matter how high you set your expecta- tions, chances are they’ll fall well short. TAURUS - April 21 thru May 21 This is an important week for networking, espe- cially when it comes to making new connec- tions or for team initiatives. Already your heart is more inclined towards quieter times. GEMINI - May 22 thru June 21. This is the week where things really start to move on the professional front. It is also the week where you’re no longer as professionally focused. This allows you to narrow things down. CANCER - June 22 thru July 23 Things really fall into place on the career and income fronts. For where one goes it seems that the other will follow, which is likely to see those competitive juices kicking back in. LEO - July 24 thru August 23 Things are about to take off on both the profes- sional and fi nancial fronts. It won’t be until next week that Venus and Mercury reach your career sector though. VIRGO - August 24 thru Sept 23 The Sun’s return to your fi nancial sector on Sunday may have created some fi nancial pressure, yet this is both temporary and more of a sign that the bar is being raised ADVICE GODDESS Moment of “Poof!” LIBRA - Sept 24 thru Oct 23 As the Sun spends his fi rst week in your rela- tionship sector, this not only puts a lot more focus on your relationships, but brings you to the midpoint of your solar year. SCORPIO - Oct 24 thru Nov 22 Just when you were thinking that fi nding the right balance between work and play was a walk in the park, it becomes a lot harder to pull of this week. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23 thru Dec 21 There is still a lot of focus on your home and family, where some lucky and forces come to a head. Your heart is focused on your romantic or creative options CAPRICORN - Dec 22 thru Jan 20 The Sun’s return to your home and family sector on Sunday is good news for matters on the home front, especially when it comes to your fi nances AQUARIUS - Jan 21 thru Feb 19 With the Sun gone from your income sector, you’ll be feeling a lot more fi nancially and personally confi dent. This is good news for your income opportunities. PISCES - Feb 20 thru March 20 With luck on your side and things already taking a turn for the better on the income and work fronts, your confi dence and expectations are high. THIS WEEK in the STARS www.Astrology-101.com This guy I met online seemed so perfect when we talked on the phone. We then had the perfect date — talking into the wee hours and ending up in bed. Then, poof! He was gone. Not even a return phone call. I’d understand if we’d had a so-so time. But, we had great fun — the most I’ve had in ages. So … was he on a different date than I was … or what? —Slammed Here’s a man you could’ve been with forever — if only you’d taken the liberty of cuffing him to the chair in your front room. But, it seemed like the perfect date! Well, maybe his idea of perfection is romancing the hell out of a woman, getting her into bed, and getting outta Dodge. Or maybe, he decided to never see you again, but figured he’d see you naked first. You want to believe “This is love!” not “This is yet another guy who wants to get some while his girlfriend’s on business in Boston.” But, because of a common human cognitive error called “confirmation bias,” you’re prone to pay attention to stuff that suggests “We’re meant for each other!” and ignore stuff that suggests he’s thinking “For about five-and-a-half hours.” The human brain is a shifty little critter. Some evolutionary psychologists believe early humans would’ve been paralyzed by a clear picture of harsh (sometimes saber-toothed) reality, so we evolved the ability to shut down information — processing accuracy in the face of scary or ugly. So, you take in information — wow, funny guy … nice Mercedes! ... hmmm, 11 a.m. and he smells like gin. Your brain arranges the positive stuff in lit glass showcases in the front of your consciousness and dumps what you don’t want to know Amy Alkon behind boxes in some dusty storeroom … leaving you shocked when you finally hear those three little words, and they’re “That’s all, folks!” Beyond your brain’s tendency to say “Gee, that’s depressing. I think I’ll believe this instead!” if you’re like many women, finding love isn’t enough; you need a great story behind it: “We were childhood sweethearts, then we never saw each other again — until that day in the Peace Corps when we literally bumped into each other in the jungle.” When things get really intense really fast, it can feel like you burned through the entire relationship in a single date. The faster things move, the more likely a guy is to feel you’re just dates away from fitting him with his electronic dog collar. Plus, it’s a downer to a guy if it’s no work to win you — if he immediately has you eating out of his hand like a deer. Now, if you don’t care if you ever see a guy again, and think it’s unlikely he buried his last date behind his garage, go ahead and have sex on the first date. Otherwise, cross your legs for at least a few dates, and swap use of the P word, as in Mr. Perfect, for the other P word, Mr. Perhaps. Look only to have a good time, and you’re less likely to find yourself “On a date with destiny!” while the guy across the table from you is on a date with…wait, is it LuvNLife777 or gurl4u29? MARCH 24 - 30, 2010 UCW 27

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