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4B Daily News – Tuesday, September 4, 2012 FEATURES Infuriated by in-laws' loose morals Dear Annie: My hus- band and I are trying to raise our three children in a traditional, conservative environment, but my in- laws undermine our values. We recently went on a cruise with them, along with my husband's brother and niece and her live-in boyfriend. At one point, my oldest daughter didn't feel well, so I took her back to the cabin for a couple of hours. When we found the rest of the family, they were having a drinkfest right in front of our 14- year-old daughter and 12-year-old son. Not only that, but they were buying alcohol for the niece and her boyfriend, both of whom are under 21. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar her and being disrespectful. We spent very little time with the family for the rest of the trip because they wanted to party and we wanted a more wholesome environment. How do we handle this type of situation when it comes up again? — Kids First From the looks of the empties on the table, this had been going on for the entire two hours. Most of them were drunk. Mind you, my husband was taking part, as well, which infu- riated me. But I was even angrier with my mother-in-law, because I feel that women should be protec- tors of their children and grandchil- dren, instead of enablers. My mother-in-law even made a point to tell our daughters that the niece had been living with her boyfriend for more than a year, which seemed to put her stamp of approval on the arrangement. My kids didn't know this, nor did they need to. They don't live near their cousin. My mother-in-law is well aware of the values we teach, but if I say anything, she says I'm judging every environment, so use these sit- uations as learning experiences. Talk to your kids calmly about what's going on and how you feel about it. Don't vilify your in-laws, but be prepared for their continued inappropriate behavior. Your kids undoubtedly will encounter other such situations when you are not around, and the hope is that they will remember the good judgment and values you have taught them. And please stop blaming your mother-in-law. Your husband should have been the protector of his own children. Dear Annie: My wife's uncle had a laryngectomy a few years ago. He now breathes through the stoma in his throat and also discharges phlegm through it. He doesn't cover the opening with mesh. I hate to sound uncaring, but he constantly coughs into a tissue that he then lays on our countertops, dining room table or wherever else. This is not only unsanitary, but gross. When he leaves, we have to Dear Kids: Please understand that you cannot control what other people do, only how you respond. You also cannot control use antibacterial wipes on every- thing he touched. If we were to say anything to him about this, he would be upset and probably not speak to us again. We are running out of excuses to avoid his visits and hope he reads your column and makes the connection. — Germ Concerned Dear Germ: Someone who uses a tissue to expel anything should not leave it around, especially on a sur- face where food is served or where others have to dispose of it. This is simple courtesy. The next time your uncle visits, discreetly place a small wastebasket near him ''for his con- venience.'' to ''Disappointed in Ohio,'' whose girls' group was resentful when one of the women began to bring along her new husband. Dear Annie: This is in response Taper off antidepresants I once belonged to such a group of retired women, which we named the ''Silver Belles.'' The time came when the husbands also retired, and sometimes, one of us would ask to bring our husband along. Instead of resenting it, we welcomed them and began to call our group the ''Silver Belles and Beaus.'' — Chatsworth, Calif. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Women's club to bake for Jubilee Courtesy photo George Britting of Los Molinos polishes off a big helping of ice cream and homemade cher- ry pie provided by the Los Molinos Women's Club while he listens to live entertainment at the 2011 Tehama County Museum Jubilee. Barbara Whitten says the women of the club are baking up a storm getting ready for the 2012 Jubilee, which will be 8 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. at the museum on Saturday, Sept. 8. Live entertainment will run 9:30a.m. to 3:00p.m. with generous donations of time and talent by groups from around the county and around the North State. Webbers 18th STOREWIDE SALE Gold Exchange facebook.com/redbluffgoldexchange Sept. 1st 413 Walnut Street 442 Walnut St., Red Bluff ANNIVERSARY - 15th Seniors save 10% Everyday on Everything! ALL Children and Youth items (Bibles, books includes Kindergators and Veggie Tales DVDs) Back to School Specials! 15% off 530-527-7663 Monday-Friday 10-6 Crafts & More September Specials 10%-30% OFF SELECT ITEMS 650 Main St., Red Bluff RENT A BOOTH & SELL YOUR GOODS! Sat. 11-3 • Closed Sun. & Mon. Tues.-Fri. 10:30-5:30 530 528-2723 GIBBS NOW OFFERS RENTAL CARS M-F 8AM-5PM TOR K: I've been on an antidepres- sant for about a year, and I'm feel- ing much better. Why can't I just discontinue it? DEAR READ- ER: There's actual- ly a very good rea- son: If not handled carefully, coming off your medication can cause disturbing symptoms — and it can set you up for a relapse of depression. Of course, you have the right to do anything you want with your medica- tions. But I think you should talk with your doc- tor first about whether to stop the medication, and how. If you decide to stop, your doctor probably will advise you to taper the dose slowly. By doing so, you can minimize or avoid the symptoms that can occur if antidepressants are stopped too quickly. DEAR DOC- Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. Why do so-called "dis- continuation symptoms" occur in the first place? Antidepressants work by altering levels of neuro- transmitters. These are the chemical messengers that are sent by one brain cell (called a neuron) and then attach to another brain cell and affect its function. Neurons get used to a cer- tain level of neurotransmit- ters. If you suddenly stop taking your antidepressant, neurotransmitter levels will drop quickly. This can cause a constellation of symptoms. They're not dangerous, but they may be uncomfortable. the organs in the body and affect their function. As a result, discontinuation symptoms can be physical as well as mental. Symp- toms may affect everything Neurons connect to all lot better on an antidepres- sant stops the medicine, there is a chance the depression or anxiety for which they were treated will come back. It's not like insulin for diabetes, where once you need insulin, you'll likely always need it. The depression or anxiety may not return after stop- ping the medicine. But stopping the medicine sud- denly can cause the same anxiety and depression you were trying to cure. You, and your family and friends, are in a better posi- tion to judge if that's hap- pening than your doctor. So be mindful. How long should it take to taper off your medicine? I wish I had an answer based on a scientific study. There are only a few stud- ies, and my assessment of them is that it's best to taper the dose by about 25 percent each week, over three to four weeks. Even though you are the best judge of whether your depression and anxiety are returning, check in regular- ly with your doctor after you've stopped the medica- tion. If someone, like you, who feels a Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. HAD A SMASHING WEEK? WE WILL GIBBS $109 Per Month No early cancellation, non-refundable Blinds Need Blinds? C A L L P A U L Blinds & Draperies www.nsbd.biz Lic.#906022 527-0842 North State Paul Stubbs Flooring Commercial ~ Residential Tim Mowris Floors • Install and/of Repair Carpet • Vinyl • Tile •Subfloor Licensed and Insured 33 years experience (530) 200-2371 Cont. 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