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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Ihavebeen married for 33 years. I love my husband, but I have totally enabled him — to the point where I am now feeling abused. For instance, this morning, he was in a mi- nor car accident. Through my business relation- ships, I have an excellent contact in the repair business, and so I kindly took his car in, gave him mine to use in the interim and picked up the rental. I asked him to drive the rental so I could have my car back and he refused. I told him I felt used. He basically said I should get over it. Because of my family background and decades of behaving this way, I am now at the point where I feel incredibly put upon because of all of the ex- pectations, as well as the total lack of gratitude. At this point I want to try and start pulling back from "doing everything" in our household: Making breakfast, lunch, laundry, cleaning, running the ac- counts, doing taxes, etc. It is important for me to keep harmony in my house, but I also want to take care of myself. I am a successful business owner. I have a flexible schedule, which contributes to my taking on too many tasks. How can I change this? —Frustrated DEAR FRUSTRATED » You sound like a nurturing and competent caretaker. Perhaps you feel disap- pointed when people don't do things as well as you know you can, and so you do more, but then feel unappreciated. I'm trying to point out that you have a big part to play in this dynamic, because in order to change it, you're going to have to learn to back off, and not immediately jump up to volunteer your services — especially if you aren't getting any emotional traction or re- ciprocation from being so generous and competent. This morning, for in- stance. Did your husband ask you to solve his prob- lem? Or did you know you could handle it well and volun teer ed b ecause you love him and love helping him, and because helping is an important part of your identity? Couples are supposed to help each other. Your husband needs to be given the opportunity, and the expectation, to step up and help himself, and also help you. In order to change things at home, you're going to have to risk your husband's disapproval, as he struggles to adjust. (Now it's his turn to "get over it.") You'll want to be clear about the tasks you're happy to continue do- ing, versus those things you're going to stop doing. Let him get his own coffee and make his own lunch. Maintain a neutral attitude. You should make a conscious effort at the start not to volunteer your services to take on any task that doesn't have to do directly with you, and to be more intentional about your own behavior. When you change, even a little bit, people around you will change, too. Wife often does too much and receives too little from husband You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson. com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Aries(March21-April19) — Dig in and don't stop until you are happy with the results you get. Don't leave anything to chance or someone else's dis- cretion. Pay attention to detail. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Focus on events that will allow you to schmooze with co-workers, or plan to engage in something with children. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Channel your energy wisely and refrain from getting mixed up in gossip or emotional situations that will put you in a precarious position. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Express your feelings and find out exactly where you stand. Share your concerns and plans with someone who has more experience. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Don't put pressure on anyone. Do your own thing and keep a close eye on your money and possessions. It's better to be safe than sorry. Choose not to argue. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Handle relationships and emotional matters honestly. Don't make assumptions and ask questions and get the truth before you take action. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Refuse to let personal matters become complicated. Keep an open mind and share your thoughts. Do your best to make adjustments that will encourage equality. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — You'll be at a creative high. Tune in to the feelings of a loved one and nurture important relationships. Possessiveness will not become you. A romantic interlude will be a highlight of the day. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Refrain from taking on too much or expecting the impossible. Be realistic if you want to find a way to reach your goals and add greater security to your life. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Stay focused on your goals and work alone to avoid being taken for granted. Problems will arise while traveling if a per- sonal document is out of date. Take better care of your health. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Express your concerns and make suggestions. Offering your help will result in an unexpected reward. Financial gain, or a gift or proposition will come from an unusual source. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Don't let emotions lead you astray. Your perception of a situation should be questioned and your motives evaluated. Honesty will help you avoid making a mistake. Horoscope By Eugenia Last SATURDAY, MARCH 25 | YOURDAILYBREAK | REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM SATURDAY, MARCH 25, 2017 8 B