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FEATURES Dear Annie: My hus- band of nine years was mar- ried to his first wife for 30 years when she left him for another woman. She appar- ently was a lesbian, but he had no knowledge of it until their marriage fell apart. His two adult kids blame him for the divorce. They also blame me because I married him a year after the divorce was final. We both have been treated shameful- ly by his children. My hus- band was totally ignored by his son on Father's Day, and the year before, neither child acknowledged him. come up with one, she told me I shouldn't bother to go. She said she'd be with her two out-of-state girlfriends the entire time and I'd be bored silly. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar the rest of your life. I am sick of seeing how much this depresses my husband, yet I can say nothing to these self-centered "adults'' about it. I have offered to step out of the family to bring peace, but my husband says no. Please help. — Heartsick in Ver- mont Dear Vermont: Try to under- stand that these kids are hurting, and they aren't mature enough to deal with their anger and sadness in a healthy way. There is nothing you can do about it other than be very patient and let your husband know how much you love and appreciate him. Please continue to reach out to these children when the opportunity presents itself. We hope they will come around. Dear Annie: My wife's 35th high school reunion is coming up. I was trying to think of a reason to get out of attending. But before I could to open his Facebook messages on the reunion site. She doesn't open anyone else's. I asked my wife if there was someone else she wanted to see, and she became angry and defensive. Instead of telling me to come with her and see for myself, however, she said, ''Fine, I won't go.'' What's your take? — Unconvinced in Chicago I feel she is hiding something. Dear Unconvinced: Reunions where classmates get together with- out spouses have been known to trigger affairs that otherwise would never have happened. Here's our take: Your wife has a crush on this guy. She'd like to flirt with him and would be more comfortable doing it without you. But she isn't willing to risk her marriage for the chance. Our advice is to attend the reunion with your wife, and be charming and personable. Let her see the other guy and get it over with so she isn't resentful and you aren't won- dering ''what might have been'' for I happen to know that only one of those girlfriends is attending the reunion, and she has a brother-in-law who graduated in that class and will be there, as well. My wife is gaga over this guy. She doesn't know that I've seen how excited she is Dear Annie: My heart ached when I read the letter from ''Wash- ington,'' who said after years of neglect by her husband, the feelings are gone. She is me. I spent years trying to make my husband understand that communi- cation is part of the intimacy of making love. It's not watching a ballgame seven nights a week and then expecting to have sex. We tried counseling and Marriage Encounter. But my husband told me it was too much work, which meant I wasn't worth the effort. fight. Our marriage died, and he let it. We do things together, but live like roommates. I miss being loved, but can't bring myself to cheat. It's too late to rekindle any romance. Counseling won't help me, because there is nothing to fix. Everything is gone. So, after 33 years, I gave up the Instead of being lonely and depressed, I've made a life without him. I travel with my friends and have my own interests. I hope Washington does the same. She tried to make her marriage work, but it takes two. — New York Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Don't overlook miscellaneous deductions If you are able to item- ize your deductions on your tax return instead of claiming the standard deduction, you may be able to claim certain mis- cellaneous deductions. A tax deduction reduces the amount of your taxable income and generally reduces the amount of taxes you may have to pay. Here are some things you should know about miscellaneous tax deduc- tions: as searching for a new job in the same profession, certain work clothes and uniforms, work tools, union dues, and work- related travel and trans- portation. • Tax preparation fees. • Other expenses that you pay to: – Produce or collect taxable income, – Manage, conserve, or maintain property held to produce taxable income, or Deductions Subject to the 2 Percent Limit. You can deduct the amount of certain miscellaneous expenses that exceed 2 percent of your adjusted gross income. Deductions subject to the 2 percent limit include: • Unreimbursed employee expenses such pay, or claim a refund of any tax. jewelry and other person- al effects. – Determine, contest, expenses include certain investment fees and expenses, some legal fees, hobby expenses that are not more than your hobby income and rental fees for a safe deposit box if it is not used to store Examples of other ented event will be held on Saturday, Aug. 25, and Sunday, Aug. 26, at the El Rey Theater, 230 West 2nd St., in down- town Chico. Tickets are $10/night. Information call 892-1838 This year the Shortz! Film fest boasts a whop- ping 27 multi-genre film lineup, sure to entertain. Come out and join us for a night of film fun and free popcorn. es the top short films with running times of 40 minutes or less. 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THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING NEWSPAPERS DAILYNEWS RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY E VOICE OF TEHA M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 make it easier for you to prepare your tax return when the filing season arrives. expenses that you cannot deduct such as personal living or family expenses. You can find more infor- mation and examples in IRS Publication 529, Mis- cellaneous Deductions, which is available on IRS.gov or by calling 800-TAX-FORM (800- 829-3676). There are also many Tuesday, August 21, 2012 – Daily News 5A Kids blame father, new wife for divorce Insect repellants are safe when used right TOR K: Can you recommend an insect repellent that is safe and effective? DEAR DOC- DEAR READ- ER: The itch from mosquito bites — or the yuck factor of pulling a tick off your skin — can be irritating and unpleasant. But even worse are the illnesses that insects can carry, includ- ing West Nile virus, East- ern equine encephalitis and Lyme disease. Many people are just as Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. wary of insect repellents as they are of bug bites. They worry that they are dangerous. But used prop- erly, insect repellents are safe. The most effective ones are: DEET. If you're in an area with a lot of ticks or insect-borne illnesses, this is the repellent to use. It really gets the job done. Lemon eucalyptus oil (or PMD, the man-made version) works nearly as well as DEET against both mosquitoes and ticks, but it shouldn't be used on children under 3 years old. Picaridin works well against mosquitoes, but much less well against ticks. 2-undecanone (IBI- 246) is good for about four hours against mos- quitoes, two hours against ticks. I recommend you avoid reapplying it, because too much expo- sure to these chemicals could be dangerous. So if you are going to be out for more than four hours, use one of the first three on this list. IR3535 works for about two hours against mosquitoes and ticks. Again, I recommend you avoid reapplying it. devices. They may help a little, for a little while. But they can't compete with DEET and the other repel- lents mentioned above. A few safety tips for using insect repellents: — Don't use them on infants younger than 2 months old (instead, put mosquito netting over the baby carrier). works well, but shouldn't be sprayed or rubbed on the skin — just on clothing or mosquito netting. Other insect repellents on the market include citronella, catnip oil, bug zappers and ultrasonic Permethrin — Apply spray repel- lent outside so you are less likely to breathe it in (and won't get it on household surfaces). — Don't spray a repel- lent directly on your face. Instead, spray it on your hand and rub some on your face. (Never put per- methrin on your face.) — Whenever you use insect repellent, always wash your hands well before eating. (That's also good advice whether or not you're using insect repellent.) — Spray the repellent lightly (more is not neces- sarily better) on exposed skin and clothing. In par- ticular, don't overdo it with DEET. I had one patient who sprayed much more DEET than he need- ed on every square inch of his skin. He even sprayed it directly on his face, breathing it in as he did so. That patient had toxic- ity from DEET. Apply it lightly on the skin that will be exposed to insects and not covered by cloth- ing. The