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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Iaminmy 60s, the oldest of four children. My relation- ship with my family was distant, but for the last 10 years, I've attended a few family events (we are now all geographically scat- tered), kept in touch with my two brothers and have made an effort to see my mother, who's get- ting older and lives alone. My sister hasn't liked me since high school. The last time I saw or talked to her was at my brother's wedding a dozen years ago. My sister's son got married a few years ago. I was the only member of the immediate family who wasn't invited to the wed- ding. I was heartbroken. My mother and my two brothers said noth- ing. They stood by and allowed her to treat me this way. My mother's 89th birthday is coming up. My siblings are all travel- ing to where she lives to attend the celebration. Though I want to be part of it, I don't know if I can bring myself to be there. This situation tears me apart. If I go, everyone will assume I'm "over it" and "all is forgiven." All is not forgiven. I'll never forgive my sister. And I harbor hurt and anger against my brothers and mother for standing by and allowing it to happen. How do I decide whether to go? I keep thinking, "To thine own self be true." —Sad DEAR SAD » Do an ac- counting of the pluses and minuses of attending this event. On the plus side, you may reconnect with your mother. You may also avoid suffering from guilt later on. In the minus column, you will be in the presence of people who hurt you. The path toward going does involve acceptance, if not forgiveness. Accep- tance means that you ac- knowledge the faults and failin gs of oth er pe opl e, which have had such an impact on you, and find a way to lean in toward your own truth. Your mother's birthday party is not the place to air your grievances, but it is the perfect place to cel- ebrate your own strength in being able to rise above people who have hurt you. Understand that your mother has four chil- dren and that she cannot choose among you. If you do go, use an escape hatch. Tell yourself that you will stay for an hour, and then make a choice about staying another hour. DEAR AMY » You criticized "From We to I" for insist- ing that her boyfriend not refer to his life with his ex-wife using "we." I'm in her camp. He needs to avoid phrasing responses in ways that make her think about his past. The proper question she should pose to him is whether he wants her to be thinking about him with his ex as they move forward. — Disappointed DEAR DISAPPOINTED » After almost 30 years of marriage, insisting that her boyfriend basically pre tend th at h e had bee n alone the whole time seemed unrealistic to me. Distant son ponders difficult feelings at family gathering You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson. com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Capricorn(Dec.22-Jan.19) — Trust in yourself and yourself alone to get things done on time and without mistakes. Your at- tention to detail will give you an edge if faced with competition. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Express your true feelings and live up to your promises. Focusing on improving your lifestyle will give your reputation a boost. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Don't trust your peers to give you the facts. Ask questions until you exhaust any doubt that the choice you make will be a good one. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Gather information regarding the projects you want to pursue this year. Preparation will help you manage your time properly. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Keep situations mellow. Emotional matters will flare up quickly if you aren't careful how you handle loved ones. Don't leave room for complaint. Finish what you start. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Family and friends can make a difference. Don't neglect to ask for help if you need it to get ahead or resolve a matter of concern. Schedule a meeting or daytrip. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Consider alternative ways to use your skills, knowledge and experience. There is money to be made and partnerships to form if you are true to your beliefs and plans. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Self-criticism will help motivate you to take better care of your physical, emotional and mental well-being. Make personal adjustments that will lead to a better future. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Home improvements that will lower your overhead should be considered. Set up a practical budget that will allow you to chip away at what needs to be done without compromising your lifestyle. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — You know what needs to be done in order to reach your goal. Be careful not to let someone sidetrack you for his or her per- sonal gain. Put your needs first. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Find out what's required to make professional gains. Adding to your qualifications may be too costly. However, a change in the way you present your skills may do the trick. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — You should revise a con- tract or deal in order to improve your position or prospects. If you find a way to cut your costs or overhead at home, you'll ease your stress. Horoscope By Eugenia Last FRIDAY, JAN. 13 | YOURDAILYBREAK | REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM FRIDAY, JANUARY 13, 2017 6 B