Up & Coming Weekly

MARCH 10-16, 2010 UCW 5 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM We have all seen and heard them. We have all known one or two or more. We may even have been one of them on occasion. Bullies. They come in all shapes, sizes and colors. They are boys and girls, men and women. They are the people who try to embarrass, frighten, humiliate, intimidate, terrorize, control, extort and generally make miserable the lives of others whom they have singled out for reasons that are sometimes obvious and sometimes not. They do their low, painful and dirty work on playgrounds, in schools, in offi ces and other workplaces, in churches, in social settings and anywhere else they can get away with it. The tools of bullying may be words designed to wound and scar, but in too many instances those tools morph into physical actions that can escalate from a playground shove to beatings and murder. Think Matthew Shepard. Bullies may say their purpose is to point out the failings of another person, but at its core the purpose is to bring another down in order to make themselves appear better than they really are. It is all around despicable behavior, but it is very real and all around us. Whether they are used or not, laws exist to protect Americans from this bullying behavior in the workplace, but schools have historically been more tolerant with a "kids will be kids" attitude. Educators and parents have turned a blind eye toward school house bullying, hoping perhaps that the bully would grow out of it and the victim would somehow be able to throw off or heal from the wounds the bully has infl icted. In recent years, though, adults including educators, parents and legislators have realized that bullying really is a serious issue, one that damages both the bully and the victim and that the damage goes forward with them into adulthood. That is why anti-bullying programs have proliferated in American schools and why states, including North Carolina, have passed anti-bullying legislation intended to spell out for parents, educators and students exactly what behavior is not to be tolerated, and to provide the legal teeth to go after schoolhouse bullies. And, glory be, those programs and laws seem to be working! A recent study funded by the U.S. Department of Justice has found that between 2003 and 2008, the percentage of children who reported being physically bullied dropped from 22 percent to less than 15 percent. Percent is a sterile word, but remember that each and every percentage point represents children whose lives are safer, more peaceful and more conducive to learning. This is very good news for both potential victims, potential bullies and for the rest of us as well. David Finkelhor, a professor and director of the University of New Hampshire's Crimes Against Children Research Center, and the lead author of the study, says he is "very encouraged." And why is that? "Bullying is the foundation on which a lot of subsequent aggressive behavior gets built," Finkelhor said. "If it's (the rate) going down, we will reap benefi ts in the future in the form of lower rates of violent crime and spousal assault." Others are encouraged as well. Marlene Snyder who work with a national anti-bullying initiative at Clemson University's Institute on Family Life, cautions that the good news is not everywhere and that adults must remain vigilant in working against bullying. "You have to keep at it, training new teachers every year — not just training one time and you're done," Snyder said. She goes on to caution that when budgets get tight, as is the case in almost every state, programs like anti-bullying efforts often hit the chopping block. She is right, of course, which is one reason North Carolina and other states have chosen to spell out our anti-bullying intentions in statute. When I was a student at Haymount Elementary School, which was where Haymount 700 now stands, we had a schoolyard bully in our class. Blessedly, he grew up to become a pharmacist and a perfectly nice man. When I was a student at Alexander Graham Junior High School, on the site of today's Highsmith Rainey Hospital, I witnessed the cruelty of adolescence, especially among young girls, and hope my participation in it was minimal and forgiven. At Terry Sanford High School, I saw the loneliness and pain of those whose fellow students had somehow decided did not fi t in. We all know, of course, that no laws can ever control or correct human behavior when individuals are determined to be hurtful or worse, but what we can do is help people understand what is acceptable behavior and what it not. The fact that children themselves are reporting less victimization and less violence is an indication that the message on bullying is getting through. Says Professor Finkelhor, "There is evidence these programs are effective. I wouldn't be surprised if we're seeing the fruits of that." Hallelujah and keep the faith! MARGARET DICKSON, Contributing Writer COMMENTS? 484-6200 ext. 222 or editor@upandcomingweekly.com. Or Else by MARGARET DICKSON THIS WEEK WITH MARGARET THIS WEEK WITH MARGARET I can help you with your changing insurance or financial needs. DENNIS KNOX 3710 Morganton Rd., St. 104 910-487-1989 dennisknox@allstate.com Subject to availability and qualifications. Insurance offered only with select companies. Allstate Insurance Company, Allstate Indemnity Company, Allstate Property and Casualty Insurance Company, and Allstate Life Insurance: Northbrook, Illinois © 2009 Allstate Insurance Company. The Cumberland County Mental Health Center is seek- ing grant proposals from Mental Health, Developmental Disabilities or Substance Abuse (MH/DD/SA) related non- proÄ t organizations. Applicant organizations must have a 501 (c) (3) tax exempt status. Interested applicant organizations must submit a letter of intent no later than 3:00 pm, March 31, 2010 For further information contact, Colette Gelin, Purchasing OfÄ cer, at (910) 222-6410. cgelin@mail.ccmentalhealth.org. 4050.9(5;:(+=,9;0:,4,5; 4050.9(5;:(+=,9;0:,4,5;

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