Up & Coming Weekly

24 UCW MARCH 10 - 16, 2010 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM George Romero can blame poor distribution all he likes; the fact of the matter is The Crazies (1973) didn't make a huge box office because it wasn't good enough. Don't get me wrong, Romero rocks. 99percent of his work deserves serious attention. His original version, however, falls into the 1percent of work that does not. The premise was rock solid, but the timing was off. He created a great cult movie that lacked all the refinements of his more notable work in the zombie genre. So, faced with the prospect of a new version of The Crazies (101 minutes) backed with an actual budget and some solid acting, the only worry was the director. Breck Eisner cut his teeth on the most excellent miniseries Taken, and then made the questionable decision to direct Sahara. Luckily, his remake was more Taken than it was Sahara. In other words, it didn't suck. The film opens on a few establishing shots of an idealized small town in Middle America, Ogden Marsh. Hot sheriff David Dutton (hot Timothy Olyphant) confronts a man stag- gering on the field of a baseball game. The confrontation does not end well, and the hot sheriff begins an investigation. Scruffy, mili- tant, also strangely hot deputy Russell…Hey! He's played by Joe Anderson; I just looked him up, and he was hot German guy in The Ruins, rocking a totally authentic accent! Anyway, hot Deputy helps hot Sheriff. Hot Sheriff takes a break from being hot in his uniform to being hot in his handyman outfit. Meanwhile, his wife Judy (Radha Mitchell, who makes good movies that hardly any- one watches) is a doctor, and she notices some odd symptoms appearing in the population. A few plot holes later, and one of Judy's patients rides the train to Crazytown. However, the combined hotness of the leads make it very easy to ignore all but the most obvious plot holes, and the craziness comes just in time to keep the audi- ence entertained. The craziness is immediately followed by the government, who deploy a biohazard unit of some kind to offer the town a whole lot of anti-psychotic meds. It's right about that time that doctor Judy starts mouth- ing off about her pregnancy, as if that is going to prevent the big bad government men from quarantining her. Strangely, they do not immediately start treating her like the world's most special person, and instead elect to strappo her down and shine creepy lights on her. Luckily for doctor Judy, hot Sheriff sets off to rescue her. Somewhere along the way hot Deputy joins the party, and the two of them save some womenfolk. The group decides to search for transportation out of town, and over the course of the next two days they make their way through the increasingly hostile environment. In an attempt to support women's equality, hot Deputy does not offer his bullet proof vest to the pregnant lady despite all the shooting and knifing that routinely occurs. It all works out for the best though, since no matter how many times hot Deputy fondles his gun and contemplates his naval while doctor Judy wanders around empty parking lots, inside abandoned houses and through dark allies, she walks away clean. But don't let all the obvious plotholes discourage you from checking this out. The science isn't consis- tent, but the movie is con- sistently enjoyable. Delightfully Crazy (Point Out Your Plot Holes Elsewhere) The Crazies (Rated R) by HEATHER GRIFFITHS HEATHER GRIFFITHS, Contributing Writer COMMENTS? 484-6200 ext. 222 or editor@upandcomingweekly.com at Holiday Inn Bordeaux £ÇäÇÊ"ÜiÊÀÛiÊUÊÜÜÜ À`i>ÕÝ°VÊÊUÊÊ£ä°ÎÓÎ䣣£ y +RXUV%DU30WR0LGQLJKW*ULOOH30WR30 $)ULHQGO\DQG8QLTXH$WPRVSKHUHZLWK 'DLO\'LQQHU'ULQN6SHFLDOV3RRO7DEOHV %LJ6FUHHQ79V*ROI&KDOOHQJH at at Holiday Inn Bordeaux Ho Holid lid ida day ay In Inn nn Bo x $)ULHQGO\DQG8QLTXH$WPRVSKHUHZLWK 'DLO\'LQQHU'ULQN6SHFLDOV3RRO7DEOHV %LJ6FUHHQ79V*ROI&KDOOHQJH `Ê`ÊÊUÊÊ`Ê/iÃ

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