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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»When my husband and I married about 10 years ago, we were both am- bivalent about having children. My husband is a kind, generous man. I've gradually come around to wanting kids. I'm 40 now, so it's ap- proaching "now or never" time for me. My husband says he's willing to have babies, if that's what I really want. But here's the kicker; he's willing to do things like teach the kid to throw a football or take them to Disneyland, but says he won't do things like wake up in the middle of the night to feed a baby, change diapers, do extra laundry, etc. So, basically, I'd be doing all the dirty work, while he would just get to swoop in and have fun with the kid when it suits him. I picture myself being exhausted and frustrated with this sce- nario, but it's the only one in which I save my marriage and also have children. I already feel resentful of him be- ing "the good guy" in a child's eyes, while I'm the boring nag. Should I go ahead with a baby and hope he'll get on board once we're in the thick of it, or should I accept that this is a recipe for disaster? —Worried DEAR WORRIED » The scenario you describe: one parent doing the "dirty work" while the other parent swoops in for the fun stuff, is basi- cally the unarticulated, unbalanced arrangement that many parents have. But most parents don't declare their intention to behave this way ahead of time. It just works out that way. This is not necessar- ily a recipe for disaster, but it is a lonely road for a parent who is also in a marriage. If you decide to have a baby, you should as- sume you will be on your own. Either you will be on your own with a husband napping on the couch, or you will be on your own because your marriage won't survive this stress and resentment. Wh a t y ou d on 't r ea l- ize is this: Caretaking, nurturing and actual hands-on active parent- ing — that middle-of-the- night stuff you refer to — forms the foundation of connection between parents and children. It is very hard work, but many parents (myself included) wouldn't trade in many moments of tough, hands- on parenting. There is a glory and grace in taking care of another human being, and that is what your husband would be missing. DEAR AMY » Responding to "M," the thin woman who was "skinny shamed" by strangers, I correct people by referring to myself as "fit." — Fit and Healthy DEAR FIT » People of all sizes can accurately describe themselves as "fit." Thank you for the suggestion. Manwantstobe'funDad' while mom does the real work You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson. com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Capricorn(Dec.22-Jan. 19) — Consider what you might do in the new year to improve your health, finances or current environment. Having a plan will give you the push you need. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — An unexpected gift or finan- cial gain is headed in your direc- tion. Be grateful and consider how you can make someone else's life easier. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Get together with peers for a celebration. Networking will prove valuable and could lead to greater opportunities in the coming months. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Stay focused on how you can make personal and professional improvements that will set you up for a brighter future. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Making travel plans or offering to help an organization you believe in will make your day. The people you encounter along the way will be informative and influential to your thinking. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Expand your interests, and research how you can master something that will help you get ahead. Don't feel that you have to overspend. Work with what you already have going for you. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Travel, entertainment and time spent with people you find mentally stimulating will help you determine what you want to pursue over the upcoming year. A partnership looks promising. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Improving your surroundings, adding to your entertainment center or planning a party for friends and family will turn out well. Leave time for pampering and personal shopping. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Sales will be tempting, but don't go over budget or make a purchase without doing your research. What you think is a good deal is likely to fall short of your expectations. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Controversy must be put aside. Don't struggle with negativity when you can just walk away from it. Focus on the people you love. Positive change comes from doing what's best for you. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Make adjustments to where or how you live. Talk to people who can offer advice that will help you with your fear of failure. Trust and believe in yourself. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Someone from your past will have an impact on the changes you make heading into the new year. Romance is highlighted and will improve your life. Horoscope By Eugenia Last THURSDAY, DEC. 29 | YOURDAILYBREAK | REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM THURSDAY, DECEMBER 29, 2016 4 B