Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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A Difficult Conversation SENIOR CORNER by MARTHA OWEN & SUSAN GUY It's a statement that family members hear all too often from their senior loved ones: "I can't handle this anymore — I just want to die." How are you supposed to re- spond to such a declaration? Furthermore, how are you supposed to personally cope with the fact that the care you're providing might not be enough? Here is some advice for family caregivers dealing with this difficult situation: • Don't ignore it: The painful emotions surround- ing the topic of death can sometimes make family caregivers unable to have honest, open dialogues with their senior loved ones. If your loved one keeps say- ing that their life is no longer worth living, or that Reading is Beneficial in More Ways than One at FTCC by DR. KRISTEN LAWSON Communication is key when dealing with elderly family members. they would be better off dead, you can help by asking questions to get them thinking about ways they might be able to cope with their situation. Queries like, "Why do you feel that way?" and "What would you like to be different?" can help a senior focus on the facts of a situation, instead of getting caught up in their feelings of pain and helplessness. If your loved one is suffering from Alzheimer's or another form of dementia, they may not respond to these questions. For suicidal comments, attempt to distract the senior from their gloomy thoughts by changing the subject to some- thing more pleasant. Reading is one of the most important abilities a person can have for both academic success and life (Gallick, 1999). Further, proficient reading skills have been associated with student suc- cess (Reed, 1989). Townsend Press Publishing not only understands the importance of reading but also is willing to give scholarships to prove it. In the fall of 2011, the Developmental Studies Division at Fayetteville Technical Community College (FTCC) began the Townsend Press Reading Scholarship Program. Townsend Press Publishing Company sponsors reading scholarships for students who enroll in either developmen- tal English or reading. These students register to participate in the program in the I-PASS Center located in Cumberland Hall 314. There, students check out a novel to read. • Set limits: While it's important to know when to talk to your loved one about their feelings, it's also vital to know when to stop talking about them. Set aside some time each day to discuss the tough stuff so that difficult dialogues don't pop up out of the blue, which can be emotionally draining. If your loved one tries bringing up the topic ahead of schedule, you can gently remind them that you both agreed to set aside time later on to talk about that issue. • Be realistic: As a family caregiver, you may feel hesitant about ac- knowledging that your loved one is near death, but they may be well aware of their condition and want to talk about it. While it may be painful, hav- ing end-of-life discussions with your terminally ill loved one can help them process their feelings as well as allowing you to make sure that their last wishes are carried out in the way they want. • Look out for signs of depression: As always, it's important for a caregiv- er to be vigilant when it comes to monitoring their loved one for symptoms of depression. Common symptoms can include: constant feelings of sadness and anxiety, loss of interest in activities that they used to enjoy, sleeping too much or too little, loss of energy, irritability and loss of appetite. • Offer outside support: personal clergy may be available as well as Hospice employees, who are trained to discuss these topics in more depth. • Discuss with the physician: Always keep the care providers aware of the physical and emotional condition of their patient. We also stress the importance of taking time for yourself, particularly when you're dealing with a loved one who keeps saying they want to die. A family caregiver can become so overwhelmed by their loved one's constant air of doom and gloom that they may end up becoming depressed them- selves. We suggest recruiting other family members, or a professional caregiver to help you get some time away from your caregiving duties. MARTHA OWEN & SUSAN GUY, Owners of Home Instead Senior Care, Editor@ upandcomingweekly.com. 16 UCW JULY 18-24, 2012 sure they have read and comprehended the novel. Then, students check out another novel and the process continues. Once students have read 10 nov- els, they receive a $100 scholarship If students read 20 novels, they receive $200; and if students read 30 novels, they receive a total of $300. Since the inception of the Townsend Press Reading Scholarship Program at FTCC, 108 scholarships have been awarded for $17,600. A past schol- arship recipient indicated that once she began to read at night instead of watching the television, her children began asking questions. The mother explained to her children why she was reading, and before she knew it, her children began reading instead of watching television at night. This program proved to be much more far-reaching than just FTCC's students. Students get the opportunity to read novels like Frederick Douglass, Jane Once students complete the novel, they meet with a faculty member to en- Eyre, Letters My Mother Never Read Me, The Bully, Making the Most of Your Life, Wind in the Willows, Life of a Slave Girl, Robin Hood, The Scarlet Letter, The Odyssey and more. Better yet, Townsend Press provides all of the novels to FTCC for free, so come by the I-PASS Center in Cumberland Hall 314 to sign up for your opportunity to read and earn some scholarship money. DR. KRISTEN LAWSON, FTCC Dean Of Developemental Studies. Contributing Writer.COMMENTS? editor@upand- comingweekly.com. Earn Extra CA$H* Distribution Delivery Drivers Perfect Opportunity for:•Retirees •Retired Military •Teachers on Break •Stay at Home Moms and Dads or email: officemanager@upandcomingweekly.com * Must have own vehicle, valid drivers license and insurance. Call 484-6200 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM