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FEATURES divorced acrimoniously when my siblings and I were young. My brother, ''Tim,'' was a difficult child and was arrested when he was 11. The local law offi- cials offered the option of handing custody to my father as an option to avoid a sentence to juvenile hall. Once my father had cus- tody, my sister and I had very little contact with either of them. Dear Annie: My parents Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar My sister and I occasionally have tried to reconcile with Tim for our mother's sake, but we have been unsuccessful. Our mother is 70 and now wants to put her legal affairs in order. unsupported by anyone, to earn every single thing she has, and I want to honor her wishes. But my sister says Tim should be allowed to attend Mom's funeral. We haven't been in contact for four years. I am willing to go along with the funeral part, but refuse to allow him in her house. What do you think? — Funerals Are for the Living After our father's death, my sis- ter and I were cut out of Dad's will. After the death of our paternal grandmother, Tim was found to be the sole heir to her estate. It sur- prised the other relatives because the change in her will happened only a short time before her death. My mother's will and other legal documents show she intends her estate to be divided equally between my sister and myself, with Tim receiving a small token amount. My mother also asks that my brother not be notified of her death until six months have passed and preferably not until the estate is settled. Mom doesn't want him to show up, loot the house, put on a show of grief for the community and then disappear. My mother has worked hard, your mother does not want Tim in her house, and you should honor those wishes. Having him at the funeral is something you should discuss with her. If the possibility of him displaying some artificial show of grief won't bother you or your sister, your mother might reconsider notifying him in a more timely manner. But the final deci- sion actually is the responsibility of those who plan the funeral, because they must live with the conse- quences. Dear Funerals: There are legitimate reasons why Friday, July 13, 2012 – Daily News 5A Split family wrestles with funeral plans he did, but now I'm starting to won- der whether he would rather the relationship continue as it is. Is it wrong for me to want him to man up or move on? — Confused Dear Confused: If you want marriage, you'll have to make it clear to Dex and set a date. If he backs away, you will know where he stands — and it isn't beside you in front of a minister. Dear Annie: ''Surprised Hus- Relearning living skills after a stroke TOR K: My sister recently had a stroke and will be starting rehab soon. What can she expect? DEAR DOC- band'' has been married for 45 years, and for the past 10, he's been upset because friends told him unpleasant things about his wife before he married her, and she refuses to discuss it. Dear Annie: I have been in an on-again-off-again relationship with ''Dexter'' for two years. I was still married when we got together, but was divorced six months ago. My ex lives in another state. Dex was engaged once before for five years, but called it off. The problem is, when Dex and I talk about our future, he gets dis- tant, although he has said he sees us getting married down the road. I asked him to move in with me, and knew her is none of his business. Every person in this world makes mistakes. I'd tell him to go out and get a life. Volunteer, go to church, get a part-time job, and put the past behind you. Life is too short. I have been married for 45 years to my dear husband. Not once did either of us question the other's past. If I were this man's wife, I would get out of this marriage and find happiness elsewhere. — Appalled at His Behavior What his wife did before he Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Ceremony planned for trails at Whiskeytown Whiskeytown National Recreation Area, a unit of the National Park Service, will be holding a ribbon cutting ceremony to com- memorate the reopening of the Guardian Rock and the Crystal Creek Falls trails at 9:30 a.m. Thursday, July 19. DEAR READ- ER: Rehabilitation helps restore abili- ties impaired by the stroke. How much progress your sister makes and how quickly it occurs will depend on the severity of her stroke and the part of her brain that was affect- ed. Strokes can affect the strength of your muscles, your senses (like your sense of pain), your abili- ty to speak and to under- stand speech, your vision, your emotions, your thinking and your level of consciousness. Some peo- ple have only mild weak- ness on one side of the body with nothing else wrong. Other people go into a coma. It sounds as if your sister's stroke may have been fairly mild. Fortunately, we've learned new techniques in recent years that some- times lead to recovery that we used to think was not possible. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. muscles and improves cir- culation. Regaining skills for Her therapist may also simulate natural move- ments in her arms and legs. This can help restore neu- rological path- ways as it strengthens her swimming pool, where water can support some of her weight. everyday living is another important goal. Your sister will learn practical tech- niques to make dressing, washing, driving and other routine activities more manageable. Speech and language rehab may include exer- cises to improve compre- hension, speaking, read- ing and writing. It may also help restore her abili- ty to swallow safely. (This is often impaired by a stroke.) Rehab may occur in the hospital, a rehab facility or at home. Your sister may work with one or more specialists. These may include a physiatrist, rehab nurse, physical or occupational therapist, speech-language patholo- gist or a recreational ther- apist. Funded by park visitor's day use fees, the trails have undergone a complete redesign making them fully accessible to visitors who require the use of a wheel chair or walker. These trails are perfect for families with young chil- dren and those looking for a brief walk culminating in a great view. take place at the Guardian Rock Trailhead. Please meet at Horse Camp on Mule Town Road, a half mile east from the entrance of the Whiskey- town Environmental School. The ribbon cutting will Rediscovered by rangers several years ago, this Guardian Rock vista provides a panorama of Clear Creek Canyon. Until the brush was cleared away and the vista opened, many hikers on the old Guardian Rock Trail never realized the view of the canyon existed. A brief five-minute stroll from the parking lot, this gently sloping trail passes through a pine for- est to the spectacular vista point. Visitors will see an unhindered view of water flowing from Whiskey- town Lake on its way to the San Francisco Bay and the Pacific Ocean. This important stream and its upper gravel beds are the spawning grounds for two federally threat- California State University, Chico will welcome more than 300 area educators Aug. 1-2 to "Create the Magic," the 2012 After School Professional Development Institute. The two-day conference, hosted by the Butte County The Crystal Creek Falls trail has been newly paved making it ADA accessible from the parking lot to the picnic area at the base of the Crystal Creek Falls. Shaded picnic tables and barbeque grills provide a great place to spend some ened species, the steelhead trout and the spring-run chinook salmon. All visi- tors will now have the opportunity to witness their long journey from the Pacific Ocean. quality time with friends and family. Hikers who make it to the trail's end are encouraged to use the trail register book and impression plate station. The trail can be accessed from Crystal Creek Road, approximate- ly 2 miles from State Highway 299. Maps and details are available at the park's Visitor Center. For more information, call Jim Richardson at 242-3413. Educators to find illumination at institute Office of Education—Learning Support Region 2, is an opportunity for North State after school professionals to network, attend engaging workshops and training sessions, and gain skills to help them excel in their profession. The sixth annual event will focus on best-practice teach- ing strategies and hands-on activities that after school staff can use in their own programs, while providing ways to make academic and enrichment content both fun and infor- mative for kids. There will be something for everyone, including Science, Technology, Engineering and Math (STEM); nutrition and physical activity; Common Core; inclusion practices; and behavior management, among other workshop offerings. Doug Luffborough, an educational consultant, social entre- preneur and advocate for social change. Luffborough over- came an impoverished and challenged childhood, and his tale of inspiration and hope for the American Dream, "Homeless to Harvard," draws on his ambition to become the first member of his family to attend college. Keynote speaker Michael Funk is director of the newly established After School Division for the California Department of Education. Previously he The conference will be opened by motivational speaker Sierra Sound Car Audio 35th $ 226 So. Main St., Red Bluff 527-3735 All CD's 13.99 Anniversary Sale or less was founder and executive director of the Sunset Neigh- borhood Beacon Center in San Francisco. The center, regarded as a national model for community and after school programming rooted in youth development, is known for its innovative use of community media produc- tion and technology integration. Regional Lead Gloria Halley of the Butte County Office of Education, Learning Support Region 2, says that the annual After School Professional Development Institute is "key to developing and maintaining a strong workforce of after school professionals so that every child receives the very best in expanded learning opportunities." It also rec- ognizes "Unsung Heroes" working and supporting pro- grams and students day after day with an unshakable belief that every child deserves the very best education and life possible. Additional information for the 2012 "Create the Magic" Institute can be found online at rce.csuchico.edu/after- school or by calling Regional & Continuing Education at 530-898-6105. The strategies used will depend on your sister's goals for therapy. Com- mon goals include rebuilding strength, relearning to walk, improving speech and recovering memory. Rehab can also help a per- son adapt to a permanent disability. Physical rehab may include walking on a treadmill, walking up or down stairs and using hand or leg weights. Even if your sister can't bear weight on her legs, she can still exercise. She may do this while partially supported by a harness. Or she may exercise in a es strategies to compen- sate for problems with memory, learning and awareness. We have more informa- tion on stroke rehabilita- tion in our Special Health Report, "Stroke." (Learn more about this report at AskDoctorK.com, or call 877-649-9457 toll-free to order it.) Cognitive rehab teach- Rehab will take time and hard work. Your sister may get discouraged. Remind her that rehab can make the crucial differ- ence between regaining her ability to function and remaining impaired. Some of my patients have made little progress after a month of work, every day, with rehabilita- tion therapy. Then, they suddenly seem to turn a corner and make consider- able progress. They should not give up. Stroke rehab really can make a difference. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Old Fashioned Social at Historic Jonesville Hotel To celebrate the completion of Phase One of the Jonesville Hotel preservation, Jonesville Cabin Owners, Inc. are inviting history buffs to the hotel grounds 1-4 p.m. Sat- urday, July 21. Guest of honor is Barbara Greene Maggi, a descendant of Nick and Cassie Stephens who ran the Hotel from 1906 to 1919. Featured will be a bluegrass band, historical entertain- ment, ice cream sundaes, silent auction and carriage rides. Proceeds benefit the on-going preservation of the Jonesville Hotel, the only remaining stage stop hotel on Humboldt Road. Tickets are limited and need to be purchased in advance by calling Patsy at 893-5999, Karen at 345-7525 or Barb at 873-3097. Adults are $25 and children younger than 12 are $5. 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