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4B Daily News – Saturday, July 7, 2012 FEATURES Woman feels trapped in abusive marriage The problem is that Jason is controlling and verbally abusive. When we met, I was willing to over- look many things because he was so good to my kids. As a single mother, I need- ed the stability he could provide. But a couple of months ago, I reached my breaking point, and now I want out. I stay in the home only because I with ''Jason'' for eight years, married for four. Between us, we have raised five children. Dear Annie: I have been Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar don't want to leave my stepdaugh- ter. Believe me, Jason is the type of guy who will make sure I have no contact with my stepdaughter sim- ply out of spite. And it would dev- astate my two sons. They think Jason walks on water. A separation or divorce will counseling on your own and consider letting your chil- dren see someone, as well. They are suffering, too, and the situation is likely to get worse before it gets better. All of you could use some ongoing guidance. Dear Annie: My sex life been a problem. has always been important to me. My wife and I are in our early 60s. This is my third marriage. For the first three years, the sex was good, but the past two have leave my children fatherless, as well, since their biological father has never been in the picture. But I am finding it hard to pretend every- thing is fine. The kids sense some- thing bad is happening, and they barely eat, sleep or talk. Leaving seems selfish, but staying would sacrifice my sanity. — Nevada Dear Nevada: Have you and Jason attempted counseling? He may not realize how close you are to walking out, and he might be willing to work on your problems in order to save the marriage. And no matter what you decide, please get society, data is coming and going at alarming speeds. People aren't finding information anymore, information is finding them. Whether it is through a tweet by your favorite celebrity or a Facebook update by an old friend from high school, the world is constantly being inundated with news, trends and changes from around the globe. With the con- stant flow of changes and new information comes a heavy burden I tell my wife that I am going upstairs and getting ready for bed, and I mention having sex, and she tells me that she will be up in a few minutes. About four hours later, she comes to bed saying she fell asleep watching TV. After several of these excuses, I asked her to be honest. She insists there is no problem. When she works, she doesn't quite the turn-on you might think. It also is not uncommon for women past menopause to lose desire. Gen- tly suggest to your wife that she talk to her doctor about hormonal help for her libido. Then please work on your romantic technique, and find out what will make her more inter- ested in intimacy. Dear Annie: My deep sympathy Dear Lost: We will say that your approach is a bit lacking. ''I'm going to bed and I'd like sex'' is not for businesses – govern- ment regulations. On average, regula- tory agencies enact more than 3,500 new rules a year, which is nearly one new rule every two hours. With so many changes, it's difficult for businesses to keep up with it all, leaving them vulnerable to legal ramifications including fines and fees. Certain key areas of high risk include fil- ing taxes in a timely manner, improperly cal- culating overtime or misclassifying employ- want sex, so this weekend I asked if we could have sex, and she said OK, but again fell asleep in front of the TV. She promised to make it up to me the next night, but it was the same story. This upsets me. I am thinking of divorce. She told me that she and her last hus- band were like roommates, and I feel it is happening in our marriage, too. Any suggestions? — Lost in El Paso to ''Indianapolis,'' whose evil sis- ter-in-law is keeping the family from seeing their dying brother. My uncle married a woman who did her best for 35 years to keep him from the rest of the family. She was petty and nasty and had our uncle wrapped around her finger. When he became ill, she didn't tell us he was in hospice. We'd call their house, and she'd say he was too tired to talk. Then she told us to stop calling because the phone disturbed him. We didn't find out he had died until a cousin wrote with condo- lences. We'll never know what our uncle saw in that woman. There are peo- ple who are just mean beyond redemption. Hell is sure going to be crowded. — Sad Just Thinking About It Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Government regulations among top threats for employers In today's fast-paced ees. In fact, an Ernst and Young Business Risk report named regula- tion compliance the No. 1 worry for business owners. Regulation compliance risk as an ongoing issue in which HR profession- als, companies and legal teams must continue Lisa Hansen to monitor for the sake of their respective busi- ness' health. Companies Department of Justice and Occupational Safety and Health Administra- tion (OSHA) and more and the acts they regu- late, cost businesses $1.75 trillion last year. Due to the misclassi- are now not only having to worry about turnover and retaining top talent, but are also having to navigate the red tape enact- ed by regulato- ry agencies. Agencies such as The National Labor Relations Board (NLRB), the Heal whiplash with medication, exercise TOR K: Several months ago, a car rear-ended me and I ended up with whiplash. My neck still hurts. What can I do? DEAR READ- ER: The force of a rear-end collision momentarily jerks your neck into an unnatural position. This can badly strain your neck muscles and can stretch or tear the ligaments in your neck. The bones of the spine in your neck, partic- ularly the facet joints where one bone meets another, can be damaged. The nerves that leave your neck through holes in the spinal bones also may be affected. DEAR DOC- Whiplash usually results in neck pain. It may also cause shoulder pain, muscle spasms, stiff- ness and a decreased range of motion. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. Early on, you probably used ice packs and over- the-counter NSAIDs such as ibuprofen (Advil) or naproxen (Aleve) to relieve pain and inflam- mation. Now you have to begin the slow process of help- ing your neck heal. It is fine for most people to use an over-the-counter pain medicine, particularly acetaminophen, to help ease the pain. Also, a mus- cle-relaxing medicine like cyclobenzaprine, taken at bedtime, can be helpful. If you haven't already, talk with your doctor or a physical therapist about gentle range-of-motion exercises and then isomet- ric neck-strengthening exercises. Strong neck muscles will help main- tain proper head and neck posture. This decreases the stress on muscles, disks and vertebrae. It gives damaged tissue the opportunity to mend. Massage therapy fication of employees and failure to comply with overtime laws, the government is aggres- sively auditing compa- nies' wage and hour practices in an effort to recover more than $7 billion in lost payroll tax revenue. With the possible may also help promote healing. Massage relieves muscle tension and spasms, loosens stiff joints and promotes relax- ation. surgery colleagues recom- mend that if you are still Most of my orthopedic legal ramifications of hiring and firing employees, businesses need information on these crucial topics before they end up on the wrong side of the law. aware of regulations that impact hiring, post- ing ads, employment applications, back- ground checks, inter- viewing, hiring deci- sions, severance, and termination, among oth- ers. Companies should be wearing a cervical collar, stop. Cervi- cal collars don't help recovery; they may even interfere with it by causing neck mus- cles to waste away. Neverthe- less, there may be periods during your healing when the collar provides necessary relief from pain. Whiplash damage to muscles and ligaments should heal within a few months. Because it has already been several months since your acci- dent, I recommend you talk with your doctor. He or she may check for injuries to your facet joints and disks. You may get some pain relief from facet joint injections, in which a local anesthetic is injected to numb the nerves that supply that joint. Less commonly, radiofrequen- cy neurotomy may be used, a procedure that uses heat to block nerves from conducting pain sig- nals. Surgery is rarely used to treat whiplash, but it may be done if you con- tinue to experience severe pain or disability after try- ing nonsurgical treat- ments. We have more informa- tion on whiplash in our Special Health Report, "Neck and Shoulder Pain." (Learn more about this report at AskDoc- torK.com, or call 877- 649-9457 toll-free to order it.) fixes for the kind of muscle, ligament and bone injuries caused by whiplash. But if you are patient and regularly perform the exercises you're given, the likeli- hood is that your neck (and you) will return to normal. There are no quick Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Because of the con- stant change in employ- ment law and regula- tion, businesses may rely on outside parties that can quickly traverse through these issues and keep the businesses safe from legal ramifica- tions. Handling the hiring process with intentional focus on regulations, staffing companies are providing a much need- ed service through a dif- ficult time. With con- stant change in the regu- latory landscape, it's important to ensure your company is equipped with HR professionals who stay current on employment rulings and regulations. Lisa Hansen is the owner of Express Emplo yment Professionals, 243 S. Main St. in Red Bluff and can be reached at 527-0727. boost the local economy? Eating local food is a hot topic across the coun- try these days. But could it also provide an impor- tant boost for the local economy? One of the most experienced food system ana- lysts in the U.S., Ken Meter of the Crossroads Resource Center (CRC), on July 10 will present "Mount Shasta & Lassen Region Farm and Food Economy," based on his organization's recent study of the North State's complex food system. Area food producers, distributors and "locavores" of all kind are invited to attend this presentation. Joining Meter will be a panel of local growers and ranchers to share, along with Meter, what makes locally grown and produced foods healthier and a better bargain. "Emerging like a patchwork of carefully plant- ed orchards, thousands of community-based food initiatives are taking root in diverse locales across the U.S," Meter says. "If Shasta region residents purchased $5 of food for home use directly from the region's farmers each week, this would gener- ate $89 million of new farm income for the region." Could eating local produce Meter will appear 7-9 p.m. Tuesday in Redding at Sequoia Middle School's McLaughlin Auditori- um, 1805 Sequoia St. This free presentation is open to the public. Light refreshments will be pro- vided. Vollmers, a member of this year's Leadership Redding Team, is scheduled for 6:30 p.m. Tues- day to raise funds for Project Taken. An evening of music, art, appetizers, beer, wine and auction for art and items donated by local artists and vendors is planned. Proceeds will benefit Project Taken — www.projecttak- en.com. The event will be held at Vintage Wine Bar and Restaurant and tickets are available for a $10 donation. For more information, call Vollmers at (818) 370-3728 or send an email to fitness.gang@gmail.com. Redding for Project Taken A fundraiser hosted by Kymberly Newble Fundraiser schedule in