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2B Daily News – Friday, July 6, 2012 FEATURES Controlling wife shuns man's family Dear Annie: I have been married for 24 years to my high school sweetheart, and we have two sons. For most of this time, I have put up with my wife not allowing any mention of my family or involvement whatsoever in any activities. I don't know why this is so, and she won't tell me. Although I can see my family on my own, I am not allowed to invite them to our home for a holiday, and my parents are permitted to see our kids only on rare occasion. Of course, when it's about her family, she expects me to jump. I know my father was less than perfect 30 years ago, but I have for- given him, and he has righted his wrongs. He is a good grandfather to my two boys. My mother and sisters have done absolutely nothing to deserve such poor treatment. But anytime I bring up the issue, my wife shuts down all communication for about a month. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar their grandparents, aunts and uncles. My oldest son recently graduated high school, and my wife would- n't allow him to have a grad- uation party because I insist- ed my family be invited. Please help. — Stuck in the Middle My dad is remarried, and his new wife has two children my age, and I like them and want my wife to get to know them. They are good, wholesome people. But I'm not even permitted to mention their names. I once decided to simply bring them over to the house, but my wife's behavior was so rude and embarrassing that I won't do that again. And then she didn't speak to me for a month. I want to spend time with my family, and I'd like my kids to know Development Center (SBDC) at Butte Col- lege is presenting a The Small Business family did something unfor- givable to your wife, there is no excuse for her controlling behavior. Since she refuses to explain her grudge, it's impossible to determine whether it has merit, and you are apparently disinclined to tolerate the conse- quences of putting your foot down. Ask your wife to come with you for counseling, and if (when) she refus- es, please get some for yourself. Feel free to spend as much time with your family as you like, and take the kids along whenever possi- ble. They can develop a relationship with their grandparents independent of their mother. If she objects, she should explain why. Dear Annie: My mother is 89 Dear Stuck: Unless your and in failing health. My sister has taken on all responsibility for her, and I am very grateful. One of our siblings does not acknowledge our mother at all and won't allow his grown children or great-grandchil- dren any contact. For that reason, my mother does not want him named in her obituary or at her funeral service. Can we eliminate a sibling from all the arrangements and not expect any legal repercussions? He's very series of workshops for start-up and new busi- nesses from 1:30-3:30 p.m. on Mondays, July Dear Vermont: There is no legal requirement that a death notice or funeral service must be worded in a specific way or include specific people. But if your mother has a will that excludes your brother, please be sure she speaks to a lawyer. How sad for everyone. Dear Annie: ''Name-Dropped'' vindictive. — Concerned in Ver- mont was upset that her daughter chose to substitute her maiden name for her middle name. In Louisiana, it is common for the maiden name to be taken as a middle name when a woman marries. It is a loving way of honoring your parents by keep- ing their last name as a part of your married name. It also makes it easier for people to know who your family is. — Cathie in Louisiana rigueur'' for married women to make their maiden names their mid- dle names. But we believe ''Name- Dropped'' was upset because the middle name was Mom's, and it was a family tradition to pass it on. Now the daughter has removed Mom from the equation, and that's what hurts. Dear Cathie: It used to be ''de Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. New venture entrepreneurial series 9-30, at the Small Busi- ness Development Cen- ter at. Butte College, 2480 Notre Dame Blvd., Chico. The cost for the series is $50 per person prepaid or $60 at the door. This 4-part training series provides essential information for individ- uals thinking about starting a new business and new business own- ers. Topics include: New Business Orientation, Market Analysis, Cost Analysis, and Business Plan, Overview. You will learn the Be proactive to avoid altitude sickness TOR K: I'll be doing some high- altitude climbing this summer. What can I do to avoid altitude sickness? DEAR READ- DEAR DOC- ER: A few months ago I faced the same question myself. I was going to be climb- ing in the mountains of South America. From past experience, I knew I wouldn't feel very good once I got above 8,000 feet. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. — Limit your physical exertion to reasonable lev- els during your first few days of ascent to altitude. — Drink plenty of fluid during your altitude exposure. before going far- ther. At higher altitudes, there is less oxygen in the air. At altitudes above 8,000 feet, you may devel- op uncomfortable or dan- gerous symptoms. The first and mildest symptoms of altitude sick- ness are headache, fatigue, diminished appetite (developing sometimes into nausea and vomiting), feeling lightheaded and unsteady on your feet, and having trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. More severe symptoms — brain and lung symp- toms — also can develop at high altitudes. Mild fatigue can turn into extreme fatigue. You can have trouble walking nor- mally. You can become confused and start acting like you're drunk even if you haven't had a drop of alcohol. You can become unusually irritable. If the lungs start filling with fluid from high-alti- tude sickness, you can become unusually breath- less and start coughing for no good reason. The severe brain and lung symptoms can become fatal without treatment. So, you're smart to be legal requirements for business start-up, how to assess your market and calculate start -up costs and how to plan for direction and to obtain funding. Pre-registration is required. For more information or to regis- ter call the Small Busi- ness Development Cen- ter at 895-9017. proactive about avoiding altitude sickness. Here's what I recommend, which is the same advice I fol- lowed myself: — Gradual changes in altitude will help your body adapt, so do not increase your altitude by more than 1,000 feet per night. — Each time you increase your altitude by 3,000 feet, spend a second night at this elevation op early signs of altitude sickness, immediately stop ascending, or descend to an elevation where you last felt well. Otherwise, your symp- toms may worsen or become deadly. If you have had altitude sickness in the past, talk to your doctor before return- ing to a high altitude. You may have the option of tak- ing preventive medication. Mild symptoms (particu- larly sleep disruption, but possibly other symptoms as well) can be limited. Acetazolamide (Diamox, others) or the corticos- teroid dexamethasone can help, but these drugs do not prevent serious forms of altitude sickness. If you previously — If you devel- developed a condition in which fluid entered your lungs at high altitudes, a calcium-channel blocker or long-lasting beta ago- nist (or both) may be pre- scribed. Symptoms of altitude sickness can be difficult to recognize in oneself. Keep an eye on your climbing companions and ask them to keep an eye on you. On my recent trip, I did develop mild altitude sick- ness at 9,000 feet, which became more severe at 11,000 feet. Acetazo- lamide gave me relief. And I decided that I've reached the point in my life when self-preserva- tion trumps my spirit of adventure: I won't be ven- turing that high again. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Ask George: Expert answers to common DMV questions By George Valverde ed to take daily walks around our neighborhood for exercise. We live in an area with heavy street traffic and want to know if there are any rules we should keep in mind as pedestrians. Do you have any advice? A: Thank you for seeking out information about how to be a safe pedestrian! One out of every six traf- fic fatalities is a pedestrian, so it is important for you to be informed. The California Driver Handbook offers these tips to pedestrians: •Never "jaywalk," or cross a street between intersections. Always cross at a crosswalk. • Do not suddenly leave a curb or other safe place and walk or run into the path of a vehicle close enough to be a danger to you. • If there is no sidewalk, walk in the direction that faces the oncoming traffic • When a signal first changes to green or "WALK" for you to cross, look left, right, and then left again and yield the right of way to any vehicle in the intersection before you cross the street. • At night, make yourself more visible by wearing white clothing and retro-reflective materials or by carrying a flashlight. SACRAMENTO —Do you have questions about general driving related requirements like registration and insurance? Are you unclear about laws and restrictions related to driving? The California Department of Motor Vehicles has answers. Save Time. Go Online at www.DMV.ca.gov. Q: My husband and I have start- aware of what is going on around you! You can view the California Dri- • Most importantly, always be ver Handbook online at www.DMV.ca.gov. Q: I have decided that I want to be an organ and tissue donor. My license doesn't expire Am I allowed to drive his bike? A: No. Driving any motor vehi- cle without the proper license is against the law. If you are interested in legally driving your brother's motorcycle you should obtain your motorcycle (M1 or M2) license. The procedure for acquiring a license, I do not. motorcycle license varies based on age, but all applicants must pass a written test first. For a checklist of what is required, visit http://www.DMV.ca.gov/about/2011 mc_lic.htm George Valverde is the director of the California Department of Motor Vehicles. three years and I want to change my organ donor status now. How can I do this? A: You do not have to wait until your license expires to update your organ and tissue donor status! Sim- ply visit http://DMV.ca.gov/about/donateLife /donateLife.htm. From there you can become a registered donor, read answers to frequently asked ques- tions and real life organ donor and recipient stories. Congratulations on your decision to become an organ and tissue donor! Q: My brother recently pur- chased a motorcycle and though he has a motorcycle for another