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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»I'vebeenwith my fiance for three years. He has three children. His daughter, "Carrie," 11, has always been more dif- ficult than his sons. We were develop- ing a close bond when I first met them years ago. We did "girly" things together. This was at a time when her mom was not very involved in her life. My fiance and his ex had a bitter split. Carrie's mother con- stantly undermines their father to the children. Now that her mother is in the picture, I find a lot of similarities between their personalities, and it is driving a wedge be- tween Carrie and me. I understand the need for Carrie to bond with her mother, especially af- ter years of absence after the break up. Her personality is loud, critical and, at times, she's a bully to her brothers and her father. Nothing is her fault, she gets special treatment and has no sense of responsibility. I know that when she is at her mother's, she gets treated like a prin- cess. Her brothers have told me, and I've seen the coddling firsthand. Amy, I'm an educa- tor, and I've seen how bad things can get if she continues down this path. Carrie's mom has refused therapy for her and is not open to discussing parenting. I'm scared that if we continue to set boundar- ies over at our house, when she gets older she will choose to live with her mother because she gets her way over there. My fiance and I don't know what else to do that doesn't require outside help. Any suggestions? —Worried DEAR WORRIED » Don't compare your stepdaugh- ter's negative traits to her mother's, especially in her (or her brothers') presence. Children in high-conflict divorces face extreme challenges. It is as if she is carrying water for her mother between households. Also, she's 11 (a tough and tender age). If her brothers com- plain about her when they are at their mother's, listen without criticizing. Your job is to parent all of them when they are with you. Her father should take the lead. There are aspects of being bold and bossy that will serve this girl well as she charges into the future, but you need to try to channel her energy in positive ways. Sports, drama and scout- ing would all be positive influences for her. Therapy would help — she should have a safe space to talk about what's going on in her life. You must set boundar- ies in your household. Sibling scuffles are in- evitable, but bullying is a nonnegotiable "no." Love her fiercely now, even when she is testing you, and do your very best to let her know that you are on her side, without letting her control you. Read "Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce," by JoAnne Pe- dro-Carroll (2010, Avery). Future stepmother worries about young girl's behavior You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Leo(July23-Aug.22)—Be responsible and take care of matters that affect your per- sonal and home lives. An honest assessment will turn your life around. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Stand up for what you want and what you believe in. Reject emotional blackmail being used to take advantage of or upset your household. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Before you make a decision that will change your life, ask questions that will give you a better idea of what's actually happening. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — A short trip will lead to a ro- mantic encounter or a getaway for two will bring you closer together. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Personal problems will arise if you try to project an authoritative attitude. Learn from your mistakes. Don't use emotional blackmail or give in to someone who is. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — A commitment you make will bring you happiness and help balance your life, emotions and future. Get everything in writing to avoid any sort of misunder- standing. Know your goals. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Uncertainty due to mixed emotions and conflicting infor- mation is apparent. You are best off not making assumptions. Instead, be responsible and wait for the facts to unfold. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Get your responsibilities out of the way so you can focus on what's important to you. Learn- ing something new or develop- ing a talent or skill will improve your chances to get ahead. Aries (March 21-April 19) — A secretive approach is recommended. If you appear to be mysterious, you will gain the upper hand in whatever situa- tion you face. A financial gain is within reach. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — A change to your personal life or among your colleagues will en- hance your existence. Romance is highlighted, and nurturing a relationship that means the world to you is favored. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — You'll be put in a precarious position if you are too accom- modating. Don't be tempted by people offering short-term solutions that are expensive and indulgent. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Make a difference to some- one by being supportive and attempting to try something that he or she enjoys doing. The pleasure will turn out to be yours. Horoscope By Eugenia Last FRIDAY, AUG. 19 | YOURDAILYBREAK | REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM FRIDAY, AUGUST 19, 2016 4 B