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Thursday, June 21, 2012 – Daily News FEATURES Bride to be worries about enabling fiance Dear Annie: I am engaged to a man who was divorced 20 years ago. He has three grown sons. The first two are doing well, but the third is still not finan- cially responsible at the age of 30. His father has to pay off his automobile and cred- it cards. My fiance also helps out his siblings, who seem to be quite irresponsi- ble and alcoholic. I come from a large fam- Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar ily, and we each were told that at age 21, we were on our own. We all obtained professional degrees and now help our parents. At what age does a parent allow a child to grow up and become responsible? It appears to me that my future will be forever inter- twined with relatives who are beg- ging us for money. My fiance won't discuss this matter with me. What should I do? — Engaged but Having Second Thoughts Dear Engaged: Children should be encouraged to support them- selves as soon as they are finished with their education. Those who go on to obtain advanced degrees should find some type of part-time job or take out student loans. It is OK to help a child with temporary financial difficulties, but not to the extent that the child becomes dependent on the parents. Once you marry, decisions about money should be made jointly. If your future husband will not discuss Thursday July 26. Introduction to Native Bees as Pollinators. There are many kinds of bees in nature, and even within urban areas in northern California. Rob Schlising and Robert Irwin will showcase native bees for people who like nature in this workshop, and for those who are involved in land management and conservation. The work- shop will also promote inviting these pollinating insects to "work" and live in your own gardens. No specific knowledge of bees is needed ahead of time, although a basic understanding of general insect morphology and some familiarity with dichotomous keys would be helpful. The workshop will meet from 9 a.m. 5 p.m. in 129 Holt Hall at CSU, Chico. Cost is $100. Please register in advance. Fen-Dango Botany and Ecology of Northern Sier- these things with you now, he is not likely to consult you later. You are smart to recog- nize the problem. We recom- mend premarital counseling. Dear Annie: My grand- daughter is getting married in September. After 31 years of marriage, her parents were divorced nine years ago (his infidelity) in a nasty battle over money. Her father, who remar- on the wedding invitation. This sug- gests she raised my granddaughter, which she didn't. My granddaugh- ter is distraught over this. I've checked the etiquette books, and in case of divorce, the bride's mother's name and father's name should be on separate lines inviting guests to attend the wedding. The father's new wife doesn't appear anywhere. I believe my ex-son-in- law is trying to somehow punish my daughter, but he is actually hurting his own child. My daughter told my granddaughter that if Dad will not relent, she should have the invita- tions go out under the names of the bride and groom without mention- ing the parents at all. ried two years ago, insists that his new wife's name be What is the appropriate thing to do? Is the bride wrong to want only her mother's and father's names on the invitation? — Maria from Ohio Dear Maria: If Mom and Dad are sharing the costs of the wed- ding, both of their names and, yes, ra Fens with Emphasis on Mosses and Liverworts Aug. 18 at the UC Berke- ley Sagehen Creek Field Station. Join Carl Wish- ner and John Dittes, exploring the botany and ecology of fens and meadows in a northern Sierra Nevada setting. Carl Wishner will give instruction on the ecolo- gy, life history, morpholo- gy and identification of common and rare bryophytes (mosses and liverworts) restricted to the Sagehen Creek habitat type. John Dittes will aid in addressing landscape setting, meadow ecology and identification of the vascular flora. Bryophytes of Fens in the Northern Sierra Nevada, a field guide recently pre- pared by Carl Wishner will be provided to each participant. This work- shop will take place at the UC Berkeley Sagehen Field Station beginning at those of their spouses should appear on the invitation. If Dad is not con- tributing, his name need not appear at all. However, many brides want both parents' names on the invita- tion regardless of who is hosting the event, in which case, the spouses of the parents should be included. Dear Annie: I'd like to comment on the letter from ''Texas,'' who is concerned that her husband wants to take their kids to visit his parents in Mexico. TOR K: I'm a woman in my late 20s, and I've developed dark patches of skin on my face. Why did this happen? What can I do about it? DEAR DOC- I am a single woman, 81 years old, and I lived most of my life in Southern California. When the cost of living got too high, I moved near Tijuana. I still don't speak Spanish, but I never have felt in danger. There are large sections of Tijuana that could be picked up lock, stock and barrel and set down in the mid- dle of Santa Monica and be right at home. I don't go into the question- able parts of town, but then, there are a lot of places in Los Angeles where I wouldn't go, either. The wife should visit her in-laws and see their environment for her- self before doing anything drastic. — Not Afraid in Mexico Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Upcoming workshops for the Chico State Herbarium 10 a.m. and ending around 5 p.m. Cost is $100. Please register in advance. Introduction to Keying the Sunflowers (Aster- aceae). Sept. 8. The sun- flower family is the largest plant family in the world and the most diverse plant family in California. Come join us for an overview of this remarkable group. John Dittes will lead this work- shop using the 2nd edi- tion of The Jepson Manu- al. John will provide fresh specimens usually comprising 40-60 species from approximately 30 genera. This workshop will meet from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. in 129 Holt Hall at CSU, Chico. Cost is $100. Please register in advance. Perfumes, Pigments and Poisons an Introduc- tion to the Chemistry of Plants. Oct. 13. Plants have evolved a wealth of about registration, call the CSU, Chico Biology office at (530) 898-5356 or send an emaial to jbraden@csuchico.edu. Detailed workshop descriptions and sign up forms are available on www.csuchico.edu/biol/H erb/Events.html. $99 Clock Repair 20910 Pebblestone Dr. Red Bluff Jim Paul Electrical clocks Call for appt. Mechanical, Battery and Member NAWCC Landscape/Fence & Landscape Service Steve's Tractor • Fence Building • Landscaping • Trenching • Rototilling • Disking • Mowing • Ridging • Post Hole Digging • Blade Work • Sprinkler Installation • Concrete Work Cont. 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Colorful pigments in flowers and bright colors in fruits attract insects and birds. This workshop is an introduction to the chem- istry of plants, with a focus on plant smells, plant colors, and chemical plant defenses. Greti Sequin who has taught chemistry and is a plant enthusiast will lead this workshop. This work- shop will meet from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. in 129 Holt Hall at CSU, Chico. Cost is $45. Please register in advance. For more information 3B Sun, hormones cause dark skin patches DEAR READ- ER: It sounds like you could have melasma. This is a con- dition in which areas of skin become darker than the surrounding skin, typically on the face. The number of pigment- ed skin cells called melanocytes is higher in the darker areas of the skin. Why there are increased numbers of melanocytes in certain places and not others remains a mystery. Melasma occurs more often in women than in men, and also occurs more often in women who have darker skin to begin with. It may be more common in people who have thyroid prob- lems. Sun exposure is a strong risk factor for melasma. Some cosmet- ics and medications can make you more sensitive to the sun and can increase your risk of developing melasma. Melasma is often associated with hormon- al changes. Dark patches often develop during pregnancy, or if a woman is taking hor- mone replacement thera- py (HRT) or oral contra- ceptives. If your melasma is hormone-based, then as your hormones stabilize, your dark patches should fade. If you are pregnant, your patches should fade or disappear after your baby is born. Women who take oral contracep- tives or HRT typically see the patches fade or disappear gradually after they stop taking these medications. The first thing you need to do is to protect your skin (particularly your face) from the sun: — Wear a brimmed hat. — Apply sun block to Blinds Need Blinds? C A L L P A U L Blinds & Draperies www.nsbd.biz Lic.#906022 527-0842 North State Paul Stubbs Contractor When you want it done right ... HIRE A LICENSED CONTRACTOR! Complete directory of Tehama County contractors online, listed by specialty on 2011 Contractors Guide under "Special Sections" Storage Save on all units 10x15 $55.00 per mo. 10x20 $70.00 per mo. Prices good for 6 months Exp. 12-01-12 528-1456 BAKER ROAD STORAGE www.RedBluffDailyNews.com Click on Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. can help to even out your skin color, or you can try one of these "bleaching" treatments: In some cases, the discoloration doesn't entirely disappear on its own. Cosmetics vulnerable areas. — Use sun- screen with an SPF of 30 or more that pro- tects against ultraviolet A and B rays. — Hydroquinone cream blocks the cre- ation of melanin, the substance that makes skin dark. — Tretinoin cream increases the rate at which dead skin cells fall off and new ones appear. slows down or stops the production of pigment, the substance that colors the skin. — Azelaic acid cream — Chemical peels are applied to the skin to provide a mild chemical burn. The burned layers peel off, leaving fresh, new skin. — Intense pulsed light therapy uses certain wavelengths of light to remove pigmented areas of skin. This treatment is not available in all com- munities, and it's best to go to a doctor with extensive experience in using it. If you are pregnant, talk to your doctor before trying any of these treatments. They may have side effects that could harm your unborn baby. In my experience, melasma most often occurs during pregnancy and goes away after pregnancy. When it doesn't go away com- pletely, treatments usu- ally are successful. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Building Construction Your Repair & Remodeling Expert • Room Additions • Framing • Full Service Concrete Work and Foundations • Electrical Work, New and Repairs • Plumbing Work • Drywall Installation • Tape/Texture R. G. 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