Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/695013
65 BAY AREA NEWS GROUP KIDS I tisadanceofbothbeau- tiful and baffling intensity, the almost exotic synergy between teenagers and their parents as both sides try to navigate the emotional minefield of adolescence. There is mourning and a sense of loss. There is hope and the frequent quickening of the heart. And then, there are the hor - mones. Lots and lots of hormones. Through this thicket of high drama, parents and teens wander together, often clumsily, always yin and yang. The protective guardians try to let go even as they struggle to hold on; the anxious youth, trying to forge an emerging identity, awkwardly shake off the shell of childhood and barrel like crazy people into adulthood. "A friend of mine likened the onset of puberty to being hit by a truck — all of a sudden, everything is different," wrote one frustrated parent on the Berkeley Parents Network, which sometimes serves as a frighten - ing forum for parental frustra- tion. "The good news,'' another parent responded, "is that they do return. My sister, who teaches high school, tells mothers of her students, 'A monster is going to take over your daughter for five years, but at the end of those five years the monster leaves and you get your daughter back.' " It can feel like a switch gets flipped in that 13th year. Friends are in, and parents are out. Doors slam, and conversations stop. The silence is even stronger these days, now that whispered telephone gossip has been re - SmaranaAbbadasari,13,pictured here and on the opening page, hangs out in her room at home in San Jose. "Thankfully, my parents know to trust me," Smarana says.