Up & Coming Weekly

24 UCW FEBRUARY 17 - 23, 2010 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM Another day, another apocalypse. Did all the major Hollywood produc- ers suddenly come down with serious Seasonal Affective Disorder? If so, then it's getting worse. If they can't end the world properly, then they should just leave the apocalypse to those who know what to do with it. Good movies about the apocalypse, or the aftermath of the apoca- lypse, should follow a cer- tain classic formula. The unlikely hero should be, logically or not, proficient with most small arms. The body count should be high. The star should wear some kind of leather. The vehi- cles should be tricked out. Preferably, the undead are involved in some way; if not the undead then some kind of super plague. There should be a happy mall scene in which the survivors indulge themselves in an acquisitive shopping frenzy. Perhaps if the writers and director of Legion (100 minutes) had followed this simple recipe for an apocalicious apocalypse movie, they would have created a fun horror/fantasy survival movie instead of the Night of the Living Dead rip-off they ended up with. A group of strangers gather in a diner. Far too much time is spent introducing these characters and gaining insight into their various neuroses. First we have Bob Hanson (Dennis Quaid). Bob is a real brain trust. He bought a diner/gas station in the middle of the desert based on the hope that a new mall would bring customers. The new mall never materialized, and Bob made a bad mistake worse by staying in the desert anyway. Next up are Jeep Hanson (Why would you do that to your child?) and preg- nant smoking waitress with an attitude, Charlie (Adrienne Palicki). The most interesting thing about Jeep Hanson is that Lucas Black is the actor. Lucas Black can't act, but he was the little boy in Sling Blade. Sling Blade was stupid, but it is fun to try out your best Sling Blade voice and ask for some "french fried pertaters mmm-hm." The thing that is most interesting about Charlie is, well, actually, not much. Palicki is nice eye candy and she's done both Family Guy and Robot Chicken, but she does not impress anyone with her "acting." That brings us to Kyle Williams (Tyrese Gibson). There is some attempt to make him interesting by giving him a tragic back story that involves denial of cus- tody. Unfortunately, his semi-interesting back story is undermined by his random weapon that he admits to waving at people to be scary even though he doesn't mean to hurt anyone. Rounding out the cannon fodder, excuse me, I mean the diverse cast, is Percy Walker, played by the usually minimalist Charles Dutton. Here, however, he chews scenery with the best of them while waiting for his turn to wear a red shirt (for those of you with confused looks, that's a Trek reference). The two supernaturals, angels Michael (Paul Bettany) and Gabriel (Kevin Durand) brood their way through their portions of the script, mouthing vague threats and warnings to move the plot along. Honestly, if you've seen the trailers for this flick you've already seen the two most awesome scenes. Save your money, skip the theater and just watch the trailer again. Apocalyptically Bad Legion (Rated R) by HEATHER GRIFFITHS HEATHER GRIFFITHS, Contributing Writer COMMENTS? 484-6200 ext. 222 or editor@upandcomingweekly.com We have not seen the end of the H1N1 Á u. It's not too late! The Cumberland County Public Health Department is offering H1N1 Á u shots Mondays through Thursdays 8am-12noon and 1pm-5pm; and, Fridays 8am-12noon. Special eve- ning clinics will be held Tuesdays from 5-8pm through March 30, 2010. The vaccination is available to the general public. This vaccination is free if you have no insurance. If you have insurance an administrative fee will be billed to your insurance. Cumberland County Public Health Department 1235 Ramsey St. • 910.433.3658 Get your H1N1 shot today! Get your H1N1 shot today! Get your H1N1 shot today! Get your H1N1 shot today!

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