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DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman THEDUPLEX GlennMcCoy ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Alittleover a year ago, my father passed away very sud- denly. It was devastating. In the weeks following his death, many people spoke of him in the highest possible regard, crafting a saint-like image of him. He was a great man in many respects. He was a hard worker, who provided for me and my family, and he also did quite a bit of volun- teer work. But, of course, nobody is perfect, and my father was no exception. He had a very sarcastic sense of humor, which came off as bitter, and privately could speak quite derisively of others. He struck me as judgmen- tal and hostile toward people who he didn't see as being on his side. At times he also spoke negatively of immigrants, Muslims and other mar- ginalized groups. More than a year after his death, my family chooses to remember him as this saint-like figure. It's almost as if he is now always right and I am by default wrong about any disputes we had during his life. When people bring up some of the negative comments he made, it's in a humorous context: "Just dad being dad." I'm not perfect, and some of his flaws (name- ly, the bitter sarcasm and the bottling up of emo- tions) are flaws that I see in myself and in other family members. We want to remember the best traits of a person when they die, and I don't want to seem ungrate- ful, but I think we could all grow as people if we talked about the bad along with the good. If I'm the only one willing to start that conversation, I fea r I risk s ome sort of rebuke, or worse, from my family. —BlackSheep DEAR BLACK SHEEP » Ev- ery single family member has a different view of the family system — and of o thers i n i t. This i s because you had a dif- ferent childhood than your siblings did. Your temperaments, sensitivi- ties and perspectives are different, and so you react differently to each of your parents. I like the idea of in- troducing a little realism into the conversation ("Dad was a good dad, but he wasn't a saint, either"), as long as you understand that others may always refuse to accept your ver- sion of your father. The best statement about human nature I've ever heard was also the simplest, spoken by a friend at her mother's funeral: "People are complicated." This truism would be a great place to start your conversation. DEAR AMY » "Wondering Coach" had a child on the team whose parent wasn't paying the playing fee. When I was coaching soccer the team raised money to offset the costs associated with travel soc- cer by fundraisers — car wash, selling candy, etc. Given a little effort it is not hard to raise funds for the whole team so no one feels "different." — Former Coach DEAR COACH » Definitely. Thank you. Adult child wonders how to speak honestly about father You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Gemini(May21-June20) — Dig deep and ask questions. Someone will withhold infor- mation that you will need to know before making a decision. Deception is apparent. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Use your emotional energy to do something creative. A challenge will spur you to participate in something you've never done before. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — An emotional situation will get in the way of productivity. Don't be afraid to make changes if it will help you reach your goal. Ask someone reliable to help. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — It's a good day to address both- ersome issues. An intelligent approach will put you in a good position to make a decision. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Put greater emphasis on im- proving your health and visiting places that will ease your stress and help you make positive physical changes. Romance is on the rise. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Your desire to do things dif- ferently will be met with some opposition if your plans are too costly. An emotional situation will develop if someone feels left out or neglected. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Put more muscle into your work and stay focused until you finish what you start. Don't let anyone sidetrack you or tempt you with indulgent out- ings. Personal relationships will lack honesty. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Make plans to spend time with youngsters or friends who enjoy the same physical activi- ties as you. An intelligent move will help you cut costs. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Take on projects that will improve your environment or add to your home entertainment options. Romance will lead to a promise that is likely to lack substance. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Look over your personal papers and make some adjust- ments that will help you avoid financial stress. Don't feel bad about saying no to someone who is being unreasonable. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Your ability to adapt and move from one thing to another will impress the people you deal with today. Someone who is jealous of you will go behind your back. T aurus (April 20-May 20) — You'll capture attention with your insight, attention to detail and practicality. A short trip will help you expand your interests and push you in a direction that will lead to a positive gain. Horoscope By Eugenia Last FRIDAY, JUNE 3 FRIDAY, JUNE 3, 2016 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B