Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/6708
Tuesday, February 9, 2010 – Daily News – 3B Dear Annie: My 19- year-old daughter has always argued with me about everything. I could say the sky is blue, and she would say, ''No, it's azure.'' When she was a child, I tried to ignore her debates and told her to just do as I say. But now that she's a young adult, it no longer works. I don't know how to put an end to these constant ridiculous arguments. I just got off the phone with her. I asked if she could stop and get some cookie dough at the grocery store on her way home. She could not see any reason why I would want any, and I spent way too much time and effort convincing her to please get some so I could make some cookies. The store wasn't out of her way, and it wasn't expensive. She simply saw no reason for me to bake cookies. She rarely does this with her father, although he has occasionally gotten the same treatment. I do not understand why she feels the need to make our lives so much more unpleasant than necessary. She will be finishing her education at a university halfway across the country next year, and it would be nice to put an end to this nonsense before she leaves. Please help. — Just for Argument's Sake Dear Just: You and your daughter have created a con- frontational pattern that nei- ther of you seems able to break. Here's how: Stop argu- ing with her. When she says the sky is ''azure,'' tell her, ''OK.'' If she says you don't need to bake cook- ies, reply thought- fully, ''You could be right.'' These are not major issues, and it won't matter if you let her win. Arguing is how your daugh- ter gets your undi- vided attention. When she sees that she cannot provoke you, she may look for differ- ent ways to communicate. Help her out. Dear Annie: I am 75 and have four married children. My first wife died, and I've been married to my second wife for eight years. It causes her great pain that one of my children displays a picture of me with my first wife in a prominent place in the living room. There is no picture of me with my current wife. She thinks it is an intentional way to say she is not welcome, and she refuses to visit there again. My wife has made a point of displaying pictures in our home of both sides of the fam- ily to avoid just this type of ill will when my children visit. I understand people have the right to hang any pictures that please them, but I would like my wife to feel like part of the family in their home. Should I request that the offending pic- ture be removed during our visits? — Upset Father Dear Father: Your wife is being oversensitive. It is per- fectly proper for a child to have a picture of his or her parents on display in the home. We suggest you explain the situation privately and give them a framed photograph of you with your current wife, asking if they would please hang it where your wife can see it when she visits. Tell them it would be a kindness to you and a gesture of accep- tance for her. Dear Annie: ''Louisville Lass'' preferred that the grandparents donate to their children's college funds instead of showering them with gifts on holidays and birthdays. That is exactly what my in-laws did for my two sons. They would give them a copy of a deposit slip to a sav- ings account in their names. The small amounts of $10 or $25 didn't mean much to the boys at the time, but when they graduated from high school, the amounts had added up to $5,000 apiece. The smile that brought to their faces, and to ours as well, was far greater than all the ''landfill'' gifts they would have received over the years. It also teaches a valuable lesson on how saving small amounts can be very rewarding. — A Happy Parent Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Ste. 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. Sick of arguing with my daughter Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar FEATURES DEAR DR. GOTT: I have both your diet and cookbooks but have a ques- tion about sugar. I use an artificial coffee creamer that claims to be sugar-free but contains "corn-syrup solids." Is this really a sugar-free product? DEAR READER: In a word, no. Corn-syrup solids are simply dried, powdered corn syrup. This and other sugars that may go unrec- ognized include maple syrup, molasses, honey, evaporated cane juice, sucrose and more. The easiest way to avoid most products with sugar is to look for the words "sugar" and "syrup." Appropriate substitutes include no-calorie sweeteners, natural fruit juices and granulated fructose. All should be used in moderation. No-calorie, no- sugar sweeteners can also have unwanted side effects in people sensitive to them — side effects that may include rash, diarrhea, headache and more. But remember, a little cheating is allowed, so if you drink only one cup of coffee per day with a single serving of the creamer, you are probably not exceeding any dietary limits and should continue to enjoy it. If you drink several cups per day, then you will need to find an alter- native or cut back your consump- tion. DEAR DR. GOTT: In a past col- umn, a reader wrote about low cho- lesterol levels. The writer's was 135. This has me concerned because my total cholesterol is 91 with an HDL of 51 and an LDL of 40. Should I discuss this with my doctor? If I should, why? Do I need to raise my cholesterol levels? DEAR READER: My answer greatly depends on all the important information that you left out, such as age, gender, medical conditions and medications you are taking. If you know your cholesterol num- bers, you had to have gotten them from a laboratory, which should have reported to your personal physician, so he or she probably already knows. If you have a cardiac condition, such as coronary-artery disease, or a history of heart attack or stroke, your numbers are probably excellent. If you have a family history of heart attack or stroke and have a personal history of high cholesterol treated with statins, your numbers may be good. Given that your LDL, or "bad" cholesterol," is so low, you are likely taking in little dietary cholesterol and are on a cholesterol-lowering statin drug. If you are not using medication, you may simply be blessed with a body that expertly controls its use and production of fats. Some studies show that very low total cholesterol may lead to anxi- ety or depression. Others suggest a connection between increased risk for certain cancers and a very low LDL level. There are no specific limits on how low is too low because each person is different. For example, your numbers may be too low and result in problems for one person, but they can be health- ful for you. If you have a history of having low numbers, don't worry. If your numbers are low because of medication and you are experienc- ing problems, perhaps your physi- cian can adjust your dosage. If you are concerned, then speak with your doctor. He or she is your best resource for answering your specific medical questions. To provide related information, I am sending you a copy of my Health Report "Understanding Cholesterol." Other readers who would like a copy should send a self-addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092. Be sure to mention the title. Dr. Peter Gott is a retired physician and the author of the book "Dr. Gott's No Flour, No Sugar Diet," available at most chain and independent bookstores, and the recently published "Dr. Gott's No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook." Sugar hidden in plain sight Dr. Peter Gott Tehama County RAC seeking new members The Tehama County Resource Advisory Committee (RAC) is currently seeking new members. People interested in serving on the commit- tee should contact Grindstone District Ranger Eduardo Olmedo, the Designated Federal Offi- cial, at 530-934-1250, or RAC Chairman Walt Mansell at 530-527-1154. Interest forms for RAC membership may be obtained from the Forest Service. Meetings are held the fourth Thursday of the month from 9 a.m. to noon at the Tehama County Department of Education Office, 1135 Lincoln St., in Red Bluff. For more information on the Tehama County RAC, please call Randy Jero, the RAC's Forest Service coordinator at 934- 3316.