North Bay Woman

40 NORTH BAY WOMAN | S P R I N G 2 0 1 6 story of a girl who left under these circumstances. A few weeks later she came back around, visiting every weekend, as she understood and appreciated that Asprer was indeed looking out for her best interests. "Even though I don't get a paycheck they are still my kids and we can work together," says Asprer about teens who leave. "They really appreciate knowing that I'm still there for them 100 percent...they are a part of my family forever." In the therapy world, we speak of the pow- erful potential influence a caring adult crossing paths with a struggling child or adolescent can have; teacher, coach, another parent, etc. A kind and compassionate other can reflect back the child's worth in ways possibly never experienced. For kids in the foster system, tough love is particularly necessary. They may need to learn that love means limitations and consequences too. The giver receives I asked Asprer what she gets from them. "The satisfaction I get when the kids suc- ceed … in the beginning they are so angry … to be able to share and educate them and have fun with them … it makes me feel happy. I get this high when I see them transform. They give back to me by giving back to my kids, taking them to lunch and the park. They un- derstand what I've done and how I've helped and they want to give something back. All of them want to work in careers where they can give back." Science supports Asprer's experience. Research says that altruistic behavior makes us happy and can even trigger a "helper's high" because of the endorphins released in the brain. It also promotes social connectedness. When we give, they feel closer to us and we feel closer to them. To learn more about Asprer or make a donation to support her efforts, visit movinonup.org. ■ "The satisfaction I get when the kids succeed…in the beginning they are so angry...to be able to share and educate them and have fun with them… it makes me feel happy." – Claudia Asprer >> from pg. 31

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