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FEATURES Dear Annie: My brother-in-law, ''Travis,'' has been in a relationship with his girlfriend, ''Kristin,'' for eight years. They now have two young children. Kristin has cheated on him too many times to count and continues to do so. They fight about it constantly. The problem is they never stick with it. As a family, we don't know what Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar that Travis is so wrapped up in what Kristin is doing with various other men that both of them have put their children on the back burner. At the moment, the kids are living with Kristin's parents. Kristin says the kids are the most important thing to her, but she definitely doesn't show it. She's only a mom when it's conve- nient for her. And Travis is the same way. Travis is being treated for depres- sion due to his relationship, but, Annie, he is never going to change her into the woman he wants. He refuses to leave her, saying he wants to keep his ''family'' together, but they are hardly together as it is. I don't see how this is good for the kids. Travis isn't innocent, either. He can't keep a job because he would rather ''babysit'' Kristin. He is lazy and thinks the world owes him some- thing. The two of them have tried counseling apart and together, but to do. We've talked to Travis until we are blue in the face. Why can't he see that this is a toxic relationship? How do we get him to care more about his children instead of their poor excuse for a mother? — Worried Family Dear Worried: Travis and Kristin have a co-dependent relationship that is going nowhere. And it will contin- ue until one of them decides he or she has had enough. You cannot make this happen. Instead, please concen- trate on those kids. Neither parent is fit to raise them. Are Kristin's parents providing a stable home life? Can you spend more time with the chil- dren, taking them out on weekends? Your goal should not be to provide Travis with a better marriage. It should be to help care for those chil- dren so they can grow up to be more mature than their parents. Dear Annie: My sister and I are estranged. Our father is in his 80s, and although I have no need to be friends with my sister, I would like us to be able to sit in the same room together for my father's sake. I do not understand why we have never gelled. My sister says it's because I am jealous of her. I feel we are on different planets. And if her expectation of our relationship is not met, she thinks we cannot have any relationship at all. I wish only the best for my sister, but whenever we get together, it is ugly. Should I continue to push for fam- ily time even though I don't want to Tuesday, May 15, 2012 – Daily News 5A Parents' problems leaves kids neglected father would rather see you individu- ally than watch things get ''ugly'' in front of him. Would you and your sis- ter consider counseling together? Unless the two of you can work out some kind of detente for Dad's sake, it might be best to leave things as they are. be alone with her? My father seems OK with things as they are, but I'm a parent now, too, and I would be dev- astated if this were the situation with my kids. — No Family Time Dear Family: We think your Dear Annie: I read with amuse- ment the letter from ''Santa Cruz,'' the lesbian who objected to the way she was stared at in foreign restrooms. I have short hair, rarely wear makeup and have also been treated rudely abroad. It never occurred to me that it was an issue of sexual ori- entation, because I am straight. I assumed it was because I wear com- fortable shoes, look people in the eye and act more assertively than women of that culture. Your advice to be polite and charming is spot on and works non- verbally, as well. — Also from Santa Cruz Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. LOS ANGELES (AP) — ''The Avengers'' followed a record-shattering $200 million opening with another Hollywood high — a $100 million-plus second weekend. 'Avengers' rules with record $103M second weekend weeks. $4,505,362, 2,531 loca- tions, $1,780 average, $387,007,048, eight weeks. 5. ''The Lucky One,'' Tim Burton's latest col- laboration, the vampire romp ''Dark Shadows,'' opened a distant second with $29.7 million domestically. The top 20 movies at U.S. and Canadian the- aters Friday through Sunday, followed by distribution studio, gross, number of theater locations, average receipts per location, total gross and number of weeks in release, as compiled Monday by Hollywood.com are: 1. ''The Avengers,'' The superhero tale took in $103.1 million to remain the No. 1 film and lift its domestic take to $373.1 million after just 10 days. With nearly $630 million more overseas, ''The Avengers'' raised its worldwide total to just over $1 billion. Johnny Depp and $1,378,847, 1,888 loca- tions, $730 average, $14,723,775, three weeks. Warner Bros., $4,107,492, 2,839 loca- tions, $1,447 average, $53,788,233, four weeks. 6. ''The Five-Year Engagement,'' Univer- sal, $3,314,010, 2,569 locations, $1,290 aver- age, $24,623,420, three weeks. 7. ''The Pirates! Band of Misfits,'' Sony, $3,143,442, 3,079 loca- tions, $1,021 average, $23,047,000, three weeks. 8. ''The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel,'' Fox Searchlight, $2,672,140, 178 loca- tions, $15,012 average, $3,744,656, two weeks. 9. ''Chimpanzee,'' $1,755,507, Disney, Stooges,'' $1,078,339, 1,416 loca- tions, $762 average, $41,153,769, five weeks. 14. ''The Cabin in 13. ''The Three Fox, Spinal tap gives clues to brain and spinal cord health DEAR DOCTOR K: My doctor wants me to have a spinal tap to help confirm a diagnosis. What happens during a spinal tap? DEAR READER: A spinal tap is also called a lumbar puncture, or "LP" for short. During this procedure, fluid known as cerebrospinal or spinal fluid is removed from the space sur- rounding your spinal cord. The term "spinal tap" sounds scary, but it is only briefly painful and mostly risk-free. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. Why do doctors perform spinal taps? The spinal fluid bathes the entire brain and spinal cord. Therefore, the fluid can give important clues about diseases that affect the brain or spinal cord. If a person has an infec- tion of the brain or spinal cord, signs of infection (such as the presence of white blood cells) can be seen in the spinal fluid. The fluid can help identify the specific germ causing an infection. It can distinguish a life-threatening bacterial infection (bacterial meningi- tis) from milder viral infec- tions. If a person has a brain hemorrhage, red and white blood cells will be in the spinal fluid. 18. ''American Reunion,'' Universal, $432,430, 521 loca- tions, $830 average, $56,050,170, six weeks. 19. ''Dr. Seuss' the Universal, Lorax,'' the Woods,'' Lionsgate, $971,465, 1,029 loca- tions, $944 average, $39,753,912, five weeks. 15. ''John Carter,'' Disney, $766,217, 230 locations, $3,331 aver- age, $71,726,762, 10 weeks. Street,'' $645,109, 589 loca- tions, $1,095 average, $135,117,543, nine weeks. 17. ''Mirror Mirror,'' 16. ''21 Jump Sony, 1,559 locations, $1,126 average, $25,717,478, four weeks. 10. ''Safe,'' Lions- gate, $1,447,174, 1,690 locations, $856 average, $15,717,429, three weeks. Disney, $103,052,274, 4,349 locations, $23,696 average, $373,071,647, two weeks. 2. ''Dark Shadows,'' Warner Bros., $29,685,274, 3,755 locations, $7,906 aver- age, $29,685,274, one week. Man,'' Sony Screen Gems, $5,816,108, 2,052 locations, $2,834 average, $81,432,840, four weeks. 4. ''The Hunger Games,'' Lionsgate, 3. 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Before the procedure, tell your doctor if you have any allergies, especially to injected anesthetics similar to what your dentist uses to numb your mouth. You will wear a hospital gown for the spinal tap. Typ- ically, you lie on your side with your knees curled up against your chest. Or your doctor may ask you to sit up and lean forward on a table. An area on your lower back will be cleaned with an antiseptic solution. Then your doctor will use a tiny needle to inject numbing medicine just below the skin. This will numb the area where the spinal needle lower back, slowly pushing the needle forward until it reaches the spinal canal. At this point, fluid from the spinal canal will begin to drip out of the spinal needle into a sterile test tube. Usu- ally less than 3 tablespoons of spinal fluid are collected. Because of the numbing medicine, you should expe- rience only a little pressure when the fluid is removed. Let your doctor know if you feel any pain. Your doctor may also want to measure the pres- sure of your spinal fluid, using a tube held against the spinal needle. The doctor will insert the thin spinal nee- dle into your will be inserted. This medicine causes very brief stinging, but then the area is numb when the larger spinal needle is inserted. Once the fluid is collect- ed, your doctor will remove the needle. You probably won't need more than a Band-Aid to cover the area where the needle was insert- ed. ture takes 30 to 45 minutes. The spinal needle will be in place for about one minute. You may be told to lie flat for a while after the test. Let your doctor know if you get a headache or feel otherwise unwell after the test. The whole lumbar punc- saving. And in the hands of a skilled and experienced doctor, it should go smooth- ly. A spinal tap can be life- Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School.To send questions, go to AskDoctorK.com, or write: Ask Doctor K, 10 Shattuck St., Second Floor, Boston, MA 02115. Through the Newspapers in Education program, area classrooms receive the Red Bluff Daily News every day thanks to the generosity of these local businesses & individuals. THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING NEWSPAPERS DAILYNEWS RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY E VOICE OF TEHA M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES All makes and models. We perform dealer Smog Check starting at$ Pass or FREE retest 527-9841 • 195 S. 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