Up & Coming Weekly

FEBRUARY 3-9, 2010 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Buddy Heat I was a woman-using jerk in my 20s, but I mended my ways, stopped chasing arm-candy, and sought a relationship with substance. This woman from college supplies exactly what I should want. However, on our first date, she said her last boyfriend cheated on her, and she's "quit playing the game." She's also chosen a lifestyle as "one of the guys," even talking and carrying on like them. (A lesbian soccer team mistakenly invited her to join.) Instead of trying to entice me, she was blunt on date one, challenging me to accept or reject her as a girlfriend. She even put out with no work from me. We do have many shared interests, and started a relationship, but something's missing. Maybe if she'd been more mysterious, a little hard-to- get, I'd be more into her. Or, if she'd dress sexy instead of jocky-frumpy. When I've gingerly addressed these issues, she thinks I'm trying to "modify" her. I guess she has this fairytale script where Superman sweats being with Frumpy Betty because he's "so deep." But, I'm not Superman — just a typical dude whose wandering mind keeps getting infatuated with girls who are smiley- cute and flirty. — Trying When people ask, "So, how'd you two lovebirds meet?" you don't want them guessing your answer will be something along the lines of "Standing next to each other at the urinal." Some women find a nice guy; some women just become one. Unfortunately, a woman won't keep a guy from cheating on her by wearing Carhartt or buying her lingerie in packs of three in the men's department. Some guys do like the sportier girls — the kind who camp and wear boots made for walking, and not just for those perilous 26 steps from the car to the restaurant. But, even for those guys, there have to be hints of girlyness — enough so you can tell who's the girl and who's the boy without doing a look-see down everybody's Levis. Besides, as you surely know, it's hard enough being faithful to a really sexy woman, let alone one whose idea of staging a seduction involves undoing the top button of her flannel work jacket and burping suggestively. Men like to chase things. They're the hunters of the species. They don't like to be gathered. But, we live in modern times! Yes, we do, but psychologically, we're all still living in the cave. So, you want to want your girlfriend, but she never even gave you the chance to try to deal her into bed. All it took was complying as she dragged you there. Then this relationship fell on you like the house in The Wizard of Oz. You never got to experience falling for her (which probably wouldn't have happened anyway, considering she shops exclusively in The I Don't Care Collection, and had an entire lesbian soccer team under the impression that the last thing she wants to do is attract a man). As bad as you feel about being with girls for their hotitude alone, you aren't a better guy for sticking with this one for her lack of it. In fact, this supposedly noble act of yours has unhappy ending written all over it. A wiser, kinder approach is coming up with six or seven bare minimums for what you need in a partner — the stuff you can't live without, from looks to character. You can have a relationship of substance — once you admit that it has to include substances like lipgloss, and a girlfriend who can get in touch with her feminine side without hiring a private detective. Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPE THIS WEEK in the STARS www.Astrology-101.com ARIES - March 21 thru April 20 Hopes may soon become realities. Mercury in your sector of Wishes is an indication new things may soon come about. Think about changes for the better. TAURUS - April 21 thru May 21 Career or business goals are hi-lighted as adaptable Mercury moves over the top of your solar chart. Investigate new opportunities. The "force" is with you now. GEMINI - May 22 thru June 21. Educational concerns and matters from far away places may be in the spotlight with new position of Mercury. Efforts you put forth is certain to bring good results. CANCER - June 22 thru July 23 Joint fi nance sector plays host to Mercury, planet of adaptability. A new approach to long term investments will work to your advantage. Seek advice from professionals. LEO - July 24 thru August 23 Favorable planetary aspects pave the way for new meaningful relationships. Times of change bring new opportunities and improved conditions. VIRGO - August 24 thru Sept 23 Workplace activities should bring rewards as your ruling planet Mercury moves thru your Job sector. The stars are in the right places to bring health programs to success. LIBRA - Sept 24 thru Oct 23 Ruling planet Venus moves into Job sector. Those who are artistic may draw more attention from bosses. Your talents will bring you rewards and fame. SCORPIO - Oct 24 thru Nov 22 Social good times, romance and sensible speculation opportunities are highlighted as Venus, planet of love and social good times moves into your sector of "fun-time" activities. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23 thru Dec 21 Pay attention to Domestic matters. Home is where your focus should be now. For entrepreneurs, a home enterprise could be like money in the bank. CAPRICORN - Dec 22 thru Jan 20 New ideas and the changes they bring should be your focus as Mercury, planet of communications moves thru your Money sector. New job offers result from educational updates. AQUARIUS - Jan 21 thru Feb 19 Good stellar patterns indicates the time is right to realize your goals from ambitions providing you take the initiative to achieve them. PISCES - Feb 20 thru March 20 Month has the potential for creative achievements as resourceful Mercury moves into your sign. Those born under the sign of the Fish who change with the times are wise indeed. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD In December, a prominent online game player, Buzz "Erik" Lightyear, won the auction for ownership of a virtual space station in the Planet Calypso game, paying 3.3 million Project Entropia Dollars (PEDs), which at various points entered the game's play- like economy at an out-of-pocket cost of 10 actual U.S. cents per PED. Thus, Lightyear "paid" $330,000 for nothing more than digital representations of cool-looking structures. However, Lightyear can now charge other PED- seeking players who shop and hunt for valuables on the popular space station and appears confi dent he will eventually earn back his investment. (On the other hand, if everyone suddenly abandoned the game, Lightyear will have spent thousands of hours online, buying, selling and bartering to earn $330,000 worth of PEDs that would then be worthless.) [OnlineMassivelyMultiplayer. com, 12-30-09] Government in Action! In January, the Berkeley (Calif.) School Board began consideration of a near-unanimous recommendation of Berkeley High School's Governance Council to eliminate science labs from its curriculum, reasoning that the classes mostly serve white students, leaving less money for programs for underperforming minorities. Berkeley High's white students do far better academically than the state average; black and Latino students do worse than average. Five science teachers would be dismissed. [East Bay Express, 12-23-09] The Wisconsin legislature is considering a bill to designate a "state bacterium" (the Lactococcus lactis, which is crucial to turning milk into the state's famous cheese). If approved, the bacterium would join two dozen other state symbols (according to the Wisconsin Blue Book): coat of arms, seal, motto, fl ag, song, fl ower, bird, tree, fi sh, state animal, wildlife animal, domestic animal, mineral, rock, symbol of peace, insect, soil, fossil, dog, beverage, grain, dance, ballad, waltz, fruit and tartan. [Los Angeles Times, 12-13-09] New York City, under Mayor Bloomberg's leadership, has taken aggressive positions against cigarette- smoking and restaurant dishes made with trans fats, but the city's Department of Health is apparently more tolerant regarding heroin. A recently released, department-funded 16-page pamphlet instructs heroin users on "safer" ways to inject the drug (and suggests, if the fi rst needle stab misses a vein, the more healthful course is to pull out and begin anew rather than try to maneuver the syringe). Of course, the booklet contains several warnings against any use of heroin, but those, obviously, are messages habitually ignored by addicts. [New York Post, 1-3-10)

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