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4A Daily News – Friday, May 4, 2012 Opinion DAILYNEWS RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 Headlines can be funny stuff. The above is one I pulled from the Web when invited to do a presentation for the Lit Fest a couple of years back. It was pop- ular with the students. Greg Stevens, Publisher gstevens@redbluffdailynews.com Chip Thompson, Editor editor@redbluffdailynews.com Editorial policy The Daily News opinion is expressed in the editorial. The opinions expressed in columns, letters and cartoons are those of the authors and artists. Letter policy The Daily News welcomes let- ters from its readers on timely topics of public interest. All let- ters must be signed and pro- vide the writer's home street address and home phone num- ber. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and cannot exceed two double-spaced pages or 500 words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section of those submit- ted will be considered for publi- cation. Letters will be edited. Letters are published at the discretion of the editor. Mission Statement We believe that a strong com- munity newspaper is essential to a strong community, creating citizens who are better informed and more involved. The Daily News will be the indispensible guide to life and living in Tehama County. We will be the premier provider of local news, information and advertising through our daily newspaper, online edition and other print and Internet vehi- cles. The Daily News will reflect and support the unique identities of Tehama County and its cities; record the history of its com- munities and their people and make a positive difference in the quality of life for the resi- dents and businesses of Tehama County. How to reach us Main office: 527-2151 Classified: 527-2151 Circulation: 527-2151 News tips: 527-2153 Sports: 527-2153 Obituaries: 527-2151 Photo: 527-2153 On the Web www.redbluffdailynews.com Fax Newsroom: 527-9251 Classified: 527-5774 Retail Adv.: 527-5774 Legal Adv.: 527-5774 Business Office: 527-3719 Address 545 Diamond Ave. Red Bluff, CA 96080, or P.O. Box 220 Red Bluff, CA 96080 by side. Other times headlines can be painfully tricky. Maybe not so much the headlines, but the news that falls on the page each day. In this business we don't so much get to decide what the news is. We make judgment calls about where to place news sto- ries in each edition, but the news and events pretty much call the shots when it comes to making the paper. For example, the Tehama County Animal Care Center is holding an open house Saturday and I had a preview of the event in the system when I went to lay out the front page Tuesday night. Tragically, I also had the story of a 4-year-old girl who was mauled by a dog in Corning Monday. It would have been in poor taste to run the two stories side Simple enough, just hold off on the preview of the open house, right? Except the center was offering free health services for those adopting pets during the week leading up to Satur- day's event, so I reworked the page to place the stories in oppo- site corners. up Wednesday night when I had a preview for the May Madness Car Show, which starts today, and a story about two local women being honored for decades of service to those suf- fering mental illness. As one who has lived with a A similar quandary showed wrenching story about date rape amongst teens in the community. On the page right next to the story we placed a photo of four senior boys arriving at the prom in a classic convertible. One of those boys had been charged with rape a year before. There was no way for us to know this ahead of time, but it didn't make the coinci- dence any less painful to the family of the vic- tim. close family member who suf- fered from mental illness, I know it is no laughing matter. So, I jockeyed a bit to avoid having the page becoming a Jay Leno gag. This isn't to say we always get it right, or notice the unin- tended connection between sto- ries on the front page. At a previ- ous paper we published a gut- As you read this we will either be basking in the success of our debut web chat with supervisor candidate Greg Latourell at 6:30 p.m. Thursday, or cursing the new technology of which we're still learning to take advantage. Let's hope it's the former. If you're curious about the new offering, come to redbluff- *** dailynews.com tonight at 6:30 and join the conversa- tion as we sit down with incumbent Supervisor George Russell. High schoolers have grandparents for dinner Chip Thompson 545 Diamond Ave. The half-hour chats will appear live on the site and viewers are encouraged to submit questions to the candi- dates during the chat. The full text of each session will remain on the site and as much of it as possible will be published in our print editions. they are running and what they would accomplish if elected. email at editor@redbluffdailynews.com. Your officials STATE ASSEMBLYMAN — Jim Nielsen (R) State Capitol Bldg., Room 6031 Sacramento, CA 95814 (916) 319-2002; Fax (916) 319-2102 STATE SENATOR — Doug LaMalfa (R) State Capitol Bldg., Room 3070 Sacramento, CA 95814 (916) 651-4004; Fax (916) 445-7750 GOVERNOR — Jerry Brown, State Capitol Bldg., Sacramento, CA 95814; (916) 445-2841; Fax (916) 558-3160; E-mail: gover- nor@governor.ca.gov. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE — Wally Herger (R), 2595 Cean- othus Ave., Ste. 182, Chico, CA 95973; 893-8363. U.S.SENATORS — Dianne Feinstein (D), One Post Street, Suite 2450, San Francisco, CA 94104; (415) 393-0707. Fax (415) 393-0710. Barbara Boxer (D), 1700 Montgomery St., Suite 240, San Francisco, CA 94111; (510) 286-8537. Fax (202) 224- 0454. Thanks for the memory Commentary Despite warnings from retired H. Merhoff, MD, there has been no memory loss via my recent corrective knee surgery. There have been the usual cell phone and car keys misplacements, but that existed long before the event. And I did foolishly ask former Supervisor and Black Angus honcho Bill Borror why he recently started growing a beard, and he replied he began his beard when Dewey lost to Truman, or words to that effect, which did indicate forgetfulness on my part. But other than that, no problems with the little gray cells. However, to be on the safe side, if you know the missus' birthday, coming up in June, I think, you might give me a jingle. *** With little on the political scene to explain to his readers, Saturday columnist J. Harrop regaled his readers with his experience with the coffee bean. Though being a non- coffee drinker all these years, I nevertheless found his tale of interest because of my days in the military, when out on maneuvers in the wilds of Georgia in mid winter, I could only envy the chaps lined up at the coffee wagon awaiting their fix. Unless budgetary restraint was in place, it seems that the Pentagon could have allowed a menu of hot coffee and hot chocolate instead of spawning a generation of java jivers. The late great Dave Sale found the taste quite bitter throughout his civilian life until necessity in the military begat invention and he discov- ered he could tolerate coffee mixed 50/50 with cream and sugar. As caffeine eventually worked its elevating magic he was able to take it full throttle. *** "And here is a quiz for the children" as Ed There has been no memory loss. None. Sullivan often put it before introducing puppet master Topo Gogio on his variety show: If you put a coin in an empty bottle and then insert a cork into the neck of the bottle, how can you remove the coin without breaking the bottle or taking the cork out? *** I have a client who spends time in Cuba. He lives in California, has a place in Hawaii and yet travels to Cuba annually for a month's stay. As he cannot fly directly to Cuba from the U.S., he flies into Mexico City…and then it is a just a hop, skip and jump to Cuba. When he lands he gets about by bicycle and pedals about the back roads of this lush country with vast unpopulated areas. He says he feels safe and serene in such a setting. Despite the embargo, Cuba seems to thrive, and though under a communist dictatorship, my friend pedals about unmolest- ed. There is something to be said for such a place. It may not be my cup of tea, but it certainly appears to be his banana republic. Of course, we here in Tehama County can pedal about unmolested, and except for possibly stum- bling upon a pot grower, can do so in relative safety. With an end to the wasteful war on drugs, we shall be safer yet. *** the Tehama County Farm Bureau News…sorry about that Sam) we did not know the clever humorist had published quite a few books until T. Owens loaned us several of his efforts. None are as illuminating as "The Knocking Pen", but still, all in all, a good read. *** Though we read Lee Pitts (but little else in Robert Minch I Say response, mostly correct. We asked what letter had been omitted in the changing of the familiar nurs- ery rhyme "Mary had a little lamb, whose fleece was white as snow" into "Mary had a little lamb, with fleece a pale white hue, and every- where that Mary went, the lamb kept her in view" and so on. It was, of course, the letter "s" which had been omitted. This week's quiz: Match up these works of art with their artist. "The Scream," "Water Lilies," "The Birth of Venus," "At The Moulin Rouge" and "American Goth- ic" with Sandro Botticelli, Claude Monet, Grant Wood, Henri de Toulouse-Latrec and Edvard Munch. *** know that, and that Mormons have been known to have five wives. However, the penalty for five wives is five mothers-in-law." Jay Leno *** "The GOP frontrunner is a Mormon. We The successor to the late Kim Jong, his son Kim Jong Un, who goes by many officious titles, would be a comical figure if his mentality and his military could not wreck havoc in the world. However, New Yorker contributor Bruce McCall decided to ridicule the little fellow regarding his recent failure to launch a missile. He writes, "An investigation by the Sky Police of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea has determined that the failure of the Spirit of Dear Little Leader Kim Jong Un Happy-Land- ings Peace Missile to achieve orbit was due to multiple causes" and goes on to cite several including "Intensity of unanimous positive thought flow from the D.P. R.K's 6.7 million loving subjects directed at the missile site gen- erated brain-wave activity that overpowered and short circuited sensitive launch telemetry." *** Last week's quiz generated a plethora of lawn reading, when he was startled by a late model car crashing through his hedge and com- ing to rest on his lawn. He jumped up and helped the elderly driver out, and sat him on a lawn chair. A friend of mine was sitting on his front This is your chance to ask each candidate specific questions about why Chip Thompson can be reached at 527-2151, Ext. 112 or by "You're quite old to be driving a car aren't you?" "My goodness!" my friend exclaimed, He said the old gentleman replied, "Yes, I'm old enough that I don't need a drivers license anymore. Last time I went to see my doctor he examined me, and asked me if I had a driving license. I told him yes, and handed it to him. He took his scissors out of a drawer, cut the license into pieces, and threw the pieces into the waste- basket! Then he said, 'You won't be needing that anymore!'...so I thanked him and left!" Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red Bluff, former columnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the "The Knocking Pen." He can be reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail.com.