Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/64048
Husband finds out about wife's past FEATURES and I have been married for 45 years. We both grew up in this small Midwestern town. Until 10 years back, I thought it was a good mar- riage. Dear Annie: My wife grew up and changed her life. The problem began when I found out some things that happened during our high school years. Through discussions with other classmates and con- versations with friends, it became evident that there's a lot I didn't know about my wife. However, from our very first dis- cussion about these incidents, she said this was none of my business, it's in the past, and she shouldn't have to answer any of my questions. But, Annie, some of what was revealed is hard to forget. I have sought counseling for this, and it has helped to some degree. My question now is: Am I in the wrong to want some kind of expla- nation or discussion of this informa- tion? Is a spouse in such circum- stances required to clear the air? I don't need every detail, but should- n't I have enough to settle my anxi- ety? — Surprised Husband Dear Surprised: To your wife, these incidents are ancient history, and she'd like to forget about them. But you insist on picking the scabs off of her teenage scars because to you these incidents are fairly recent and you are still absorbing their impact. As far as she's concerned, the explanation is simple: She was young and made mistakes. She The Community Hous- ing Improvement Program (CHIP) held its annual meeting of the membership on March 30 at Chico's CARD Center and made the first presentation of two new annual awards, including one to a long time Red Bluff resident. The event was also a fundraiser in support of two of CHIP's housing ser- vice programs. CHIP is a non-profit developer of affordable housing that has helped more than 1,600 families build their own home since 1981, using the Mutual Self-Help method of construction. CHIP honored long-time CHIP Board Member Ver- dine Mertens of Red Bluff by presenting her with the 2012 CHIP Outstanding Service Award. CHIP also presented the 2012 Out- standing Partnership Award to Sunseri Construction of Chico. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Dear Annie: My wife and I have a small group of friends with whom we do something fun as a group every week or so. The problem is, we are the only ones who initiate this time together. If my wife and I don't plan or host it, we sometimes won't hear from these people for a month or more. To make it worse, we often hear about the fun things they did with- out us during this time. We are tired of feeling left out and unimportant. Aside from finding new friends, we are at a loss. — Frustrated with Friends in South Dakota Dear South Dakota: Are those certain it hasn't helped your mar- riage. Whatever it was she did, please find a way to forgive her and let it go. like more of an explanation, but she absolutely does not want to rehash her life before she married you. Unless something she did then has consequences that require action now, please accept that she is not that person any longer, and apparently, all for the good. You've been obsessing over this for 10 years, and we are We understand that you'd your food and share your plans, but have no intention of reciprocating. Most people fall somewhere in between. They aren't trying to be rude. They simply aren't paying attention. Your situation is in the category of ''nothing to lose.'' Take one of these so-called friends aside and ask what's going on. ''Texas,'' who was fed up that her mother ate food from her fridge without asking permission. So she let her mom eat a dog biscuit to teach her a lesson. She sounds like a stingy, thankless child. Dear Annie: This is for cooked and fed four children on a tight budget. She often ate less so we could have more. As adults, we never had to ask her permission to take a cookie from her cookie jar or a drink from her refrigerator. In fact, we were urged to help our- selves. When I was a girl, my mother any food or beverage I had in my home, and I would gladly have served her a second plate. I'm offended that ''Texas'' would delib- erately fool her mother and brag about it. — Louisiana Annie's Mailbox is written by ''fun things'' planned by others? Your friends could be the type of people who need to be organized by those willing to put forth the effort. And if they are arranging and host- ing events and not including you, they are users who are happy to eat Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Red Bluff woman receives CHIP award additional projects for CHIP and currently has two more underway. Owners Don Lieberman, Greg Creighton, and Cindy Lares and their staff, many of them long-time employees, have shown their dedication to the cause of affordable housing, going above and beyond the traditional role of general contractor to insure that affordable hous- ing gets built. In 1989, Verdine Dun- ham (now Verdine Mertens), joined the CHIP Board of Directors as the first Board representative from Tehama County. Ver- dine was winding down her career as a very successful County Conservator and was interested in helping CHIP build housing, partic- ularly in Red Bluff, where CHIP was building its first Mutual Self Help subdivi- sion in that county. Through the years, Verdine provided strong leadership, pushing CHIP to remain focused on its core mission and has been an excellent financial steward for the agency. Ver- dine has now stepped down from the Board after 23 years of service. Point Commons. A local Chico contractor, Sunseri Construction, was the low bidder on this project, which led to a very success- ful development and a long, mutually beneficial relation- ship. Today, almost thirty years later, Sunseri Con- struction has built seven In 1984, CHIP began construction of its first multi family project, a housing cooperative called Turning awards, CHIP members elected the new board for 2012, including President Howard Wolff, of Chico Vice-President Lori Hoff- man (Chico), Treasurer Ed Mayer (Chico), Secretary Jan Camozzi (Chico) and Directors Fong Lo (Chico), Irv Schiffman (Chico), Joy Murphy (Orland), Mark Hooper (Chico), Joe Feist (Oroville), John Turner (Chico) and Luke Reimers (Orland). CHIP's mission is to pro- vide healthy, sustainable, affordable housing and ser- vices to qualified residents in the North Valley. In addition to these Albertson Training Center Daycare EMS Approved Pediatric CPR/First Aid Industrial OSHA Approved CPR/First Aid Public Adult CPR & First Aid Wilderness First Aid Babysitting Safety Youth Water Safety Daily and affordable classes: AHA/HCP or Pro-CPR Come early for best selection 442 Walnut St., Red Bluff Kerusso blow-out Sale! All T-shirts and Faith Gear HUNGER FOR GOD T-SHIRTS ARE IN! 530-527-7663 Monday-Friday 10-6 ALL NEW FACILITY Your One Stop Convenience Store ONE STOP 714 Walnut St., Red Bluff Lic. #525002331 Lassen House Assisted Living & Memory Care Community Where our family is committed to yours 705 Luther Road Red Bluff (530) 529-2900 www.Emeritus.com MOULE'S TEHAMA COUNTY GLASS Broken Glass Is Our Specialty If It Has Glass We Can Fix It 515 Sycamore St., Red Bluff • 529-0260 P.E.T.S. 1st WALK YOUR BEST FRIEND Tehama County Animal Care Center 2nd 9:30 am to 11:00 am Saturday - May 5, 2012 1830 Walnut St, Red Bluff, CA 96080 Live Music by the Blackketter Brothers Band Annual Open House 10:00 am to 2:00 pm WIN Disneyland® Mutts & Meows Mercantile ~ Fabulous Food ~ Pup Tent Games for Kids ~ Pet Picassos Dog/Cat Training Tips ~~ Happy Faces Airbrush Tattoos ~ Information Booths Discounted Adoption Rates ~ Get "Frenched" at the Kissing Booth FREE ADMISSION FOR INFORMATION CALL: 530-527-8702 P.O. Box 1174, Red Bluff, CA 96080 EMAIL: rmcsc@cruzio.com One Day Park Hopper® Tickets Save $5 when you register for the Mutts Strutt BEFORE May 5th Registration includes Event T-Shirt and other goodies Registration - Adults- $25 - Child (17 & Younger) $20.00 Annual Mutts Struff TEHAMA COUNTY EASY CREDIT! VOTED BEST TIRE DEALER IN RED BLUFF 614 WALNUT ST. 530-529-1612 CORNING 1723 SOLANO ST. 530-824-4929 AUTO TIRES • WHEELS • BRAKES • ALIGNMENT • A/C • AUTO REPAIR • & AND MORE CENTER CARE 5am to 11pm 530-527-4997 80 Gurnsey Ave. - Red Bluff, CA 96080 (Behind Guy Rents) margescpr@juno.com Complete Autobody Repair INTERCITY BODY & PAINT Factory Trained Specialists In: • Painting • Fiberglass Repair • Exotic Metals • Color Matching • Frame Repair • Spray-In Bedliners • All Auto Manufacturers • Rental Cars Available We accept all Insurance Carriers 530 529-2040 1355 Vista Way, Red Bluff A Retirement Community for the Active Senior Citizens EQUAL HOUSING OPPORTUNITY 750 David Avenue, Red Bluff • 527-9193 MON.-FRI. 8AM-6PM SAT. 8AM-5PM My mom was always welcome to Tuesday, May 1, 2012 – Daily News 5A Good fats in moderation can be good for you FR OM UNIDEAR DOC- TOR K: All fats were once consid- ered bad. Now there are good fats and bad fats. How can I tell the differ- ence? ER: You've asked a great question. For years, you probably heard that fats were bad for you and carbohydrates ("carbs") were good. That is wrong. We all need both fats and carbs in our diet. There are no proven health benefits, in general, from substituting carbs for fats. What we need to pay attention to is eating pri- marily "good fats" and "good carbs," and minimiz- ing "bad fats" and "bad carbs" — and not eating too much even of the good fats and carbs. Calories still do matter. DEAR READ- So what are the bad fats and the good fats? Saturated fats and trans Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. LDL (bad) cholesterol and prevent heart disease. There are two types of polyunsaturated fats: omega-3 fatty acids and omega-6 fatty acids. Omega-3's come mainly from fish, especially fatty fish like salmon and sar- dines. But you can also find them in flaxseeds, walnuts and canola oil. Omega-6 fatty acids are present in safflower, soybean, sun- flower, walnut and corn oils. fats are bad fats. They boost your chances of developing heart disease by increasing your blood levels of LDL (bad) cholesterol and triglycerides. Trans fats are even worse — they also reduce your good HDL cholesterol. Cutting back on saturated and trans fats can help prevent and con- trol heart disease. Saturated fats are found mainly in meat and whole- fat dairy foods. Limit red meat, particularly processed meat, and full-fat dairy products such as but- ter, cheese and ice cream. Choose non-fat or low-fat dairy products and lean cuts of meat. Trans fats are found in Good sources of monounsaturated fats are olive oil, peanut oil, canola oil, avocados and most nuts. where the package label says they contain "partially hydrogenated" oils, and look for the amount of trans fats on the Nutri- tion Facts panel. The good fats are polyunsaturat- ed and monounsat- urated fats. Good fats can help lower We have a lot more information on good and bad fats in our Special Health Report, "Healthy Eating: A Guide to the New Nutrition." You can learn more about this report at my website, AskDoctorK.com, and also order it by calling 877-649- 9457. As with all things, prac- tice moderation. Fats should make up less than one-third of your total daily calorie intake. A reason- able and simple general plan is: margarine, particularly hard stick margarine, commer- cially baked goods like cookies and crackers, and in many fried foods. There is no safe level of trans fats, and you should eat as little of them as possible. To do so, avoid packaged foods (1) Minimize red meat; (2) For protein, instead of red meat choose fish, poultry, nuts, and legumes such as peas and beans; (3) Use liquid vegetable oils in cooking and at the table; omega-3 fatty acid-rich foods every day: fish, wal- nuts, canola, soybean or flaxseed oil. (4) Eat one or more Oh Snap! The Daily News wants your photos: Cute kids, Adorable pets, Inspirational sights, Any shot you think readers would enjoy You might just see it in the Daily News Send pictures to editor@redbluffdailynews.com or drop off at 545 Diamond Ave. in Red Bluff. Include a caption. Crafts & More Under new ownership Hand Painted Wine Glasses 650 Main St., Red Bluff 530 528-2723 Sat. 11-3 • Closed Sun. & Mon. Tues.-Fri. 10:30-5:30 *WILL PAY CASH FOR JUNK CARS* Quality Used Parts for Less 824-2880 10 ACRES OF 22521 Capay Road, Corning CA. 96021 Mon-Fri 8am-5pm • Sat. 9am-2pm Highway 99W & Capay Road (Halfway between Corning & Orland) Auto Recycling Inc. INVENTORY All Star • DOMESTIC • FOREIGN • PICK-UPS Rent Special $500 OFF ◆ Three Nutritious Meals Daily ◆ 24 Hour Secure Environment ◆ House Keeping Services ◆ Warm & Friendly Staff ◆ Independent Living ◆ Private Apartments ◆Recreational Programs ◆Scheduled Transportation ◆Private & Formal Dining Rooms first month rent!