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Thursday, April 26, 2012 – Daily News 5A FEATURES On-line romance comes with suspicions Dear Annie: A year ago, I fell in love with ''Bobby'' over the Internet. Two months later, he said he loved me. I was stunned. But a little later, he told me he was in a relationship and the girl was suicidal. He was afraid that if he broke it off, she'd kill herself. I've had suicidal thoughts myself and understood. Bobby sent me wonder- ful messages that made me feel terrific. I was happier than ever, even though he was terri- bly depressed about his situation. We made a promise that as long as we had each other, we wouldn't kill ourselves. After a while, I lost all desire to hurt myself. He gave me a reason to live. acts like a player. He flirts with other women. When I get upset, he always apologizes. I checked his online profile and saw messages to and from his current girlfriend. In one, he told her he "wasn't ready to let go of her and was sorry they broke up.'' He never told me they weren't together anymore. I posted a message, too, giving him a piece of my mind. But since he's been suicidal, I worry about him and frequently check to make sure he's been online and is OK. Whenever people say something mean about him, I always defend him. But, Annie, sometimes Bobby The truth is, I still love him, but Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar thoughts, but if they should return, please get some counseling and talk to someone who can truly help you. You should never rely on another person for your happiness. Dear Annie: My two siblings and I are planning a family vacation that will include renting a house. They each have kids who still live at home and will be coming along. One sibling is spending a lot of money just to travel to us. My husband absolutely refuses to pay for one-third the cost of the house, since we only require one bedroom and they require more. But if we divide it by the number of bedrooms, one family will end up paying almost half of the cost of the entire place. And if we divide it by the number of people, the family already paying the most to travel here will be paying the most for the house, as well. And that sibling has always been very generous with me. I am upset with my husband, and I'm afraid to talk to him again. Do you think there's any hope for the two of us, or is this just another book in my life that I have to close? — Desperate for Answers In Michigan Dear Michigan: Close the book and throw it away. Bobby is not honest, and any relationship with him would eventually involve misery for you. We think you know this. We're glad you no longer have suicidal now my siblings are upset with me. What is fair? — No Good Solution for this Arithmetic Problem Dear Solution: Your husband's position is not unreasonable. The more people who use the premises the more it costs to run the place and supply the food. Unless those who spend less money to get there want to subsidize the others, it would be fair to discuss this with everyone and work out a solution together. Dear Annie: This is in response ICD can change your life, and alter it TOR K: I have a heart arrhythmia. My doctor wants me to get an ICD. What do I need to know before agreeing to get one? DEAR DOC- to ''Mom in Connecticut,'' who asked about emailing thank-you notes. Few children would be eager to handwrite a thank-you note, but I have the solution. When my chil- dren were young, they were not per- mitted to enjoy the gift (spend the money, watch the DVD, play with the toy, etc.) until a handwritten thank-you was ready to be mailed. Now I don't have to remind them, as they know it is expected of them. — Mom in Pennsylvania Dear Mom: We wish more par- ents were as conscientious as you. It would help with a lot of problems — not only thank-you notes. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Finally a local fight fight. It was on April 21 at Win River. I had to make it down to 120 pounds, which is getting to be harder and harder to do. I have mixed feeling about fighting local- ly. On one hand, it is conve- nient, and all my friends can come watch. On the other hand, I like to get out of town (out of state- out of country would be awe- some!) When you fight far away, it's much more pri- vate. I always worry when fight locally that I will embarrass myself. I think I may need to see someone for 'fighter's anxiety' (then again, most fighters get a bad case of the nerves before a fight). I finally had another side, was the girl I was fighting, Maria Andaverde, was the local. So, even though I live only 30 miles from the venue, I was not the local favorite. Maria from Redding was. I knew I had to pack the house with some of my local support, and so many of my friends came to watch that I could- n't even count them all. Thank you, guys, for coming to watch and cheer for me. A crowd's cheers have a lot of impact on the judge's score cards. I even invited my whole fight team down to weigh-ins for added support which really helped to keep me calm. Maria came in 2 pounds under, at 118, and I came in at 119. Our agreed upon weight was 120, so we were spot on. We hugged, and I thanked her for making weight as so many don't. We had a nice chat, and I noticed what a decent per- son she was. She has 4 kids and works full time. An added thorn in my amazing that with all that going on that she has the time to train so hard. She was respectful, humble and just plain nice. It sounds weird, but I like that in a fighter. It keeps it less per- It is sonal. When you have anger towards someone, it can take away your focus, make your eyes blurry with hate. Not good- been there once before. I was praying we'd be early on the fight card. I love fighting right away, so I can get it over with and be able to enjoy the rest of the fights. The promoter, Mike Brown, originally had us scheduled to be the main event. I pleaded with him, and he relented and let us be the 10th fight. Not as good as the first, but better than the last. We had to get Avery Vilche Fitness Buff (amidst the other fighters and their teams) to meditate and collect myself. The fights before mine went off like gangbusters. All ended in the first round, to include our own Ashton Pierce- who got another first round win, this time a TKO. Way to go, Ashton. to the venue a few hours before the doors opened, and I had a case of the nerves. I was able to sit calmly by myself in the locker room So, with all the fights ending early, we were on deck in no time. I walked out to a few boos from the locals and lots of cheers Albertson Training Center ALL NEW FACILITY Your One Stop Convenience Store ONE STOP 714 Walnut St., Red Bluff 5am to 11pm Special offer this week only $50 class 530-527-4997 - KIDS SPECIAL - Babysitting Classes Saturday, April 28th Ages: 8 to 12 welcome Call to register 80 Gurnsey Ave. - Red Bluff, CA 96080 (Behind Guy Rents) margescpr@juno.com from my friends. She walked out to deafening cheers from all her Redding fans. I had a solid game plan in mind for this fight, as I'd drilled my ground game over and over with my coach, Rocky Golden. He told me to take it right to the ground. I have a hard time doing that, as a boxer who loves to strike, I get all excit- ed when I get the chance to do so with such tiny gloves. In the back of my head, though, I kept thinking of Rocky's advice, and I knew she was an awesome boxer. Another thing I had to take into consideration, there were only 3 three minute rounds. I'm used to fighting 5 minute rounds, so I didn't have as much time to work. We came to the middle of the cage, touched gloves, and it was on. We both came out firing. We caught each other with some solid straights. I tasted a little blood (mine, I think), and I thought, I am going to try to end this as soon as possible to keep the damage to a minimum. I got her down and had her back. I tried to catch her in a rear naked (choke from behind), but she spun around on me. I tried to get her in a kimura (arm lock), but couldn't sink it. She was strong, and I was panicking that I didn't have much time left if I wanted to finish this in the first round. I was on top, and she was throwing punches up at me from the bottom. I FRIDAY SPECIALS WHOLE TRI-TIPS Celebrating our 9 yr Anniversary WHOLE RACK OF SPARE RIBS $ starting at $ 1ST COME 1ST 2 Bud's BBQ 528-0799 Only good through April 30, 2012 OR RESERVE 22825 Antelope Blvd • Red Bluff SERVED 15 20 731 Main Street Suite 1A Red Bluff, Ca. 96080 Abbey Loso ~ Owner of Abbey's Hair Works 19 Years Experience in the Industry as a Hairstylist, Salon Owner & Beauty School Instructor Certified Framesi Master Colorist Highlights~Lowlights~Corrective Color~ Trendy Cuts~ Razor Cuts & Fades Specializing in: Abbey's philosophy is to offer superior service at a reasonable cost. Absolutely no price gouging! Buy 6 haircuts get the 7TH 530-276-3364 FREE www.abbeyshairworks.com grabbed her hand and caught her in an armbar. She was struggling hard, so it was all I could do to wrench it as much as I could. The ref finally noticed that she tapped (I was worried that her arm would snap- it took so long for him to see her tapping). The fight was over in the first round. My first ever first round win. We hugged, and the ring boy (you heard me right, we finally got a guy to show the round cards!) placed the winner's medal around my neck. happier. I still am, and it should float me for a few days. Maria was a true war- rior. She gave me 2 black eyes before I caught her with that submission. We had a long talk after the fight. I rubbed some tiger balm into her elbow joint. We plan on getting together to do some training soon, I hope. It was an honor to fight such a respectful per- son, and I see a bright future in mma for her. As for my next fight? I could not have been DEAR READ- ER: ICD stands for "implantable cardioverter-defib- rillator." It is a small device that is surgically placed in your body. An ICD can save your life — but it can also complicate your life. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. developed? Sometimes the heart develops danger- ous irregular rhythms. Two, in particular, are life- threatening. The most dangerous is ventricular fibrillation (VF). When a heart develops VF, it stops pumping. It just quivers; it's in cardiac arrest. With no blood circulating to your brain, you lose con- sciousness. If no blood reaches your brain for more than 4 minutes, your brain dies. Another dangerous rhythm is ventricular tachycardia (VT). Your heart beats rapidly, and your blood still circulates — though less effectively than with a regular rhythm. Unfortunately, if VT is not corrected, it often turns into VF. About 60 years ago, Why was the ICD cle to end the dangerous rhythm and restore a nor- mal rhythm. The only people for whom an ICD is recommended are peo- ple who have had VT or VF, or who have a heart condition that greatly increases their risk of developing these danger- ous rhythms. When you have an ICD placed in your body, it's as if the doctor with the pad- dles is always with you. It can be life-saving. How- ever, some people become anxious or depressed by the possibility of having a shock at any time — even though they need it, and even though it may save their life. develop VT or VF are nowhere near a defibrillator. Enter the ICD, which has two basic functions. First, it reads your heart rhythm and spots a potentially dangerous one. Second, it sends a jolt of electricity to your heart mus- Harvard doctors invented the defibrillator, a machine that delivers a shock to the heart. They showed that the shock could quickly return a dangerous heart rhythm to normal. The shock was delivered by two paddles placed on a patient's chest. Obviously, the defibrillator could help you only if your danger- ous heart rhythm was diagnosed and treated within minutes of its start- ing. You had to be in a medical setting, or emer- gency medical technicians had to get to you very quickly. In recent years, machines to deliver these shocks are also located at airports, on airplanes and in other public places. Still, most people who ICDs don't last forever. The pulse generator needs replacement every three to seven years, but it's a pret- ty simple procedure. Occasionally, the wires to the heart need to be replaced. This is a bigger procedure, requiring anes- thesia. Some states have driving restrictions for people with ICDs. Finally, ICD recipients have for years been told to avoid magnetic reso- nance imaging (MRI), because it could damage the ICD. A recent study found that certain adjust- ments of the ICD before the MRI can often solve that dilemma. In many cases, the ben- efits of an ICD outweigh the drawbacks. But before you give your OK, talk to your doctor about an ICD's potential to save your life — and also alter the quality of it. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com.. Who knows? My manager called out my hero, Tara LaRosa, so maybe I'll final- ly get my shot. If not, I believe I'll be fighting for the 120 pound pro title belt on the next Rogue Warrior Promotion in July. thing I know for sure, I am truly blessed. Again, I would like to thank every- one who showed up to the fight and everyone who trained with me. I thank my wonderful coach, Rocky Golden. I thank my manager, Mike Chu. I thank my husband for always being my rock- love you, baby. Last, but not least, I thank God. I'm not one of those folks who prays for a win, but I always pray that my opponent and I come out uninjured- which we did. Thank God. One Avery Vilche is a professional MMA fighter and fitness instructor who owns Psycho Fitness & MMA, 1450 Schwab St. in Red Bluff. You can reach her at 200-0526 or by e- mail at vilcheavery@yahoo.com. Campaign signs along state highways The California Depart- ment of Transportation (Caltrans) reminds all candidates registered in the upcoming election, their representatives and/or campaign person- nel and campaign workers for ballot measures of the policy regarding place- ment of "Temporary Polit- ical Signs" within view of a state highway. Section 5405.3 of the State Outdoor Advertising Act allows an exemption for the placement of "Temporary Political Signs" along certain state highways. are not to be placed with- in the state right of way. A Temporary Political Sign meets the following criteria: These signs ular vote in a scheduled election. A. Encourages a partic- B. Is placed no sooner than 90 days prior to the scheduled election and is removed within 10 days after that election. James W. Tysinger, Jr. M.D. Eye Physician & Surgeon Fellow American Academy of Ophthalmology We accept Medical, Medicare & most Insurances Office Hours: Tues-Wed-Thurs 8am-4:30pm Mon & Fri 1pm-4:30pm For Emergencies, After Hours, Week-ends, Call 530-567-5001 345 Hickory St. Red Bluff Tel: (530) 529-4733 Fax: (530) 529-1114 C. Is no larger than 32 square feet. D. Has a statement of responsibility form filed with the Department of Transportation certifying a person who will be responsible for removing the sign. State law directs the Department of Trans- portation to remove unau- thorized temporary Politi- cal Signs and bill the responsible party for their removal. For more information or copy of the form "Statement of Responsi- bility" for Temporary Political Signs in PDF, go to: dot.ca.gov/oda/politi- cal_signs.htm then scroll down to forms and click on Political Sign Applica- tion. Red Bluff Garden Club Invites you to attend their 51st May 4 & 5, 2012 Friday and Saturday 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Annual Standard Flower Show "Fun & Flowers from the 50s" Home Arts Bldg., Tehama District Fairgrounds For Information or to enter call 527-9403 Huge Plant Sale Classic Car Show Kid's Flower Planting Activity