Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/6196
"You Are Who You Think You Are: Raising Girls' Aspirations and Expectations" is the subject of a community forum to be held on noon to 1:15 p.m. Tuesday, Feb. 9 in the Com- munity Room at the Red- ding Library. A brown bag lunch will be available for $5. The forum is sponsored by the Women's Fund of the Shasta Regional Communi- ty Foundation. It is the third in a series of speakers' forums to discuss complex problems facing women and families in the area. There will be two speak- ers. Jeannie Early Jacobs is Coordinator of the Shasta County Office of Educa- tion's Bridges to Success Program. Barbara McIver is the founding and former executive director of Girls Inc. of the Northern Sacra- mento Valley The speakers will dis- cuss the world in which children and adolescents are growing up today, and the pressures and challenges they face which are affect- ing their attitudes about themselves, others, and their life choices. The speakers will present research findings and per- sonal interest stories to describe how individuals and communities can help girls develop a good self- image, high aspirations, and a belief they can be whoev- er and whatever they want to be. A question and answer session will follow. Jacobs is a licensed clin- ical social worker and coor- dinates Bridges to Success, a mental health program serving children, families and teachers for the 0 – 5 age group. She also has a private practice and is an instructor at UC Davis. Barbara McIver recently founded two programs for women and girls: The Tehama County Alliance for Women and Girls, and Girls Incorporated of the Northern Sacramento Val- ley. Prior to that, she was a member of the Tehama County Board of Supervi- sors and the governing board of the Red Bluff Ele- mentary School District. The Women's Fund was founded to address the per- sistent challenges facing women and families in the greater Redding area, and to seek solutions through the power of collective philan- thropy. Please RSVP online at www.shastarcf.org or by calling 244-1219. 6A – Daily News – Friday, January 22, 2010 $ Money $ 2 Lend Cash 4 Notes McKinley Mortgage Co. CA DRE # 01773837 Call 530-241-0977 800-909-1977 Smog Check starting at $ 29 95 (most cars and pick-ups) Pass or FREE retest COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR + cert. All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St. The Electric Man For all your electrical needs • New Outlets / 220 • Fans / Fixtures • Pools / Spas • Code Corrections • Troubleshooting • Panel Upgrade • Telephone Wiring 347-4441 $10.00 Customer Discount FREE Estimates License# 826543 Dear Annie: My girl- friend recently told me, ''I will never promise that I will always be faithful to you. I have seen too many people make that promise and not follow through.'' To say this devastated me is an understatement. We were on the verge of buying a house together, and I had picked out an engagement ring. I backed out of the deal on the house and have not pursued a pro- posal of marriage. She says I over- reacted and took her comment out of context. She also said she has worked hard for her money and needs to protect herself in case something happens and the relation- ship doesn't survive. I have been married twice before, and both my wives cheated on me. I can't imagine loving a woman more than I love my girlfriend, and I do want to marry her. But I can't wrap my head around the idea of taking vows and at the same time saying she ''might'' not be faithful. That doesn't work for me. Did I overreact? I don't think so. Should I try to work things out? — In Turmoil Dear Turmoil: Your girlfriend seems to think the problem is the promise and not the behavior. She is telling you she expects to be unfaithful in the future, so please don't hold her to any vows. You seem to be attracted to women who cheat. At least with this one, you know in advance. Caveat emp- tor. Dear Annie: My sister recently called to ask if I would like to contribute to a 50th anniversary party for my mother and stepfather. My stepfather was a very abusive man. He hit my mom, my older brother and me, while my younger sister and brother were treated like royalty. Although he stopped the physical abuse a few years back, he is still verbally abusive. I am 54 and wrote him off a long time ago. How can my sister expect me to contribute when I can't stand the man? — On the Outs Dear Outs: Your sister is proba- bly looking for help with the party expenses and hoped you would want to do this for your mother. However, you are under no obliga- tion to celebrate an anniversary that is so painful for you. Tell her sorry, no. Dear Annie: I was quite con- cerned with the message you relayed in response to ''Trusting Girlfriend,'' whose boyfriend, ''George,'' took photographs of a 14-year-old girl who was wearing an outfit that showed her cleavage. You chastised George, but added that ''those parents should pay attention to the way their young daughter is dressing if it attracts dirty old men like George.'' I work with child victims of sex- ual abuse and victims of rape. They spend hours in therapy trying to resolve their feelings of responsibil- ity and understand that what they wore does not make the abuse their fault. Did you intend to imply that what this girl wore was the cause of George's inappropriate behavior? It is bad enough that society puts the responsibility on victims, but you should not reinforce it. — Tammy Lippman, LCSW Dear Tammy Lippman: We had an interesting response to that letter. A surprising number of read- ers (mostly male) thought George did nothing wrong. Others felt we didn't go far enough in condemning him. And a few, like you, thought we were blaming the victim. We do not consider George a child molester because he did not know she was underage and he did not touch her. But we think any adult male who deliberately takes photographs only from the neck down of a young girl whom he does not know is behaving in an amaz- ingly offensive manner. We also believe children should not be sexu- alized by dressing in provocative ways. The girl is not responsible for George's behavior, but her parents should teach her that the way she dresses affects how people look at her, and it is pointless to pretend otherwise. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. Girlfriend won't promise to never cheat Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar FEATURES DEAR DR. GOTT: Although I am in reasonably good health for an 8 7 - y e a r - o l d woman, I need some help in order to get a good night's sleep. I had been taking an over-the- counter sleep aid off and on for quite some time until I read that all the OTC aids contain diphenhydramine. I have heard that this drug can cause delirium and may lead to Alzheimer's in older adults. The number of Alzheimer's cases is ever increasing, which leads me to ask why the FDA hasn't banned this ingredient. Should I be concerned about the Tylenol PM I have been taking? Thank you for any advice you may be able to give me as I am truly con- cerned, but I do need help in order to get a good night's sleep. DEAR READER: Tylenol PM contains 500 milligrams of aceta- minophen (a pain reliever) and 25 milligrams of diphenhydramine, an anti- histamine with sedating properties. Antihistamines may help control motion sickness and cough and induce sleep. Diphenhy- dramine is present in more than 80 different brands of similar products, including Sominex, adult and chil- dren's Benadryl, PediaCare Children's Allergy and Simply Sleep. The ingredi- ent is in the Food and Drug Administration's pregnan- cy category B, implying it is not expected to be harm- ful to an unborn baby. The maximum dosage allowed in a 24-hour period is 300 milligrams, and most brands carry only a fraction of that amount. Overdose can lead to confusion, hal- lucinations, weakness, insomnia and possible seizures. Symptoms of overdose can include palpi- tations, headache, difficulty breathing, blurred vision and edema of the tongue and lips. Older adults are strongly advised to check with their primary-care physicians before taking products con- taining the ingredient, as delirium and reduced cog- nitive skills have been reported. Until you get a definitive word from him or her, I recommend you hold off on all sleep aids. As a point of information, mela- tonin is a hormone produced by a small gland in the brain. It is activat- ed by darkness and causes the body to prepare for sleep. When our bodies are exposed to light, the melatonin is then converted into serotonin, which prepares us for activ- ity. As we age, the levels our bodies produce drop. This may lead to an increased risk of insomnia or even depression because sero- tonin aids in normal brain function. To combat this, I recommend you set the stage for a good night's sleep. If you ordinarily nap during the day, limit those naps to no more than 15 minutes at a time or elimi- nate them completely. Daily naps might necessi- tate using an alarm clock to prevent oversleeping. Be sure your bedroom is dark. Draw the shades, keep the room quiet without inter- ruption such as music or television, and schedule yourself so you retire at approximately the same time each night. Don't drink or eat caffeinated or sugary foods or beverages for several hours before bed to prevent a burst of energy at an inappropriate time. Your observation regarding products that could be detrimental to your health was an excel- lent pickup on your part. I commend you on remain- ing informed on such issues. To provide related infor- mation, I am sending you copies of my Health Reports "Alzheimer's Dis- ease" and "Sleep/Wake Disorders." Other readers who would like copies should send a self- addressed stamped No. 10 envelope and a $2 check or money order for each report to Newsletter, P.O. Box 167, Wickliffe, OH 44092. Be sure to mention the title(s). Dr. Peter Gott is a retired physician and the author of the book "Dr. Gott's No Flour, No Sugar Diet," available at most chain and independent bookstores, and the recently published "Dr. Gott's No Flour, No Sugar Cookbook." Sleep aids detrimental to ederly people Dr. Peter Gott This contest costs you nothing to enter if you use our proven program. PROVEN CLINICAL SUCCESS no other program can match. NONE! You WIN at Losing! 60 days: Lose the most Pounds and win! • Individuals: Men & Women • Doubles & Teams of Four Register January 4 - February 4, 2010 Over $8,000 in cash & prizes Clinically proven nutritionally balanced meals Personal support of one of our Health Coaches Our Health Coaches help you succeed because: • each of them has had personal success on the program • each of them has been trained to provide the support you need You KNOW you WANT to LOSE WEIGHT and GET HEALTHY. You KNOW someone who needs to do the same. You KNOW it is much easier and more fun if you do it together. Winning team of 4 receives $4,000 Call us @ (530) 232-0843 JOIN us in your quest to become HEALTHY. Certain health conditions and restrictions apply. See contest rules for details. Women's Fund sponsors community forum Donations for Haiti victims Customers can give to Haitian earthquake relief during their stop at Raley's grocery store, and 100 per- cent of the donations will go directly to the American Red Cross to help the devas- tated area. The company is desig- nating all donations to checkstand boxes in its stores to Haitian earthquake relief through Feb. 13. As usual, the company covers the administrative costs of all checkstand donations.