Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/618981
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman PHOEBEANDHERUNICORN DanaSimpson ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Irecently learned that a relative, a woman in her 20s, is in- volved in a polyamorous relationship — a menage a trois consisting of two women and one man. I understand how the 20s can be a time of sexual experimentation. Of concern to me is that the man and woman she is involved with are married to each other. And "Given that my relative is involved with a married couple, what good can come of it for her? When I asked her mother about it, her response was that her daughter will have to figure it out for herself. When I expressed concern about her daughter getting hurt, she reminded me that no one is exempt from experienc- ing hurt in relationships. Both of these statements are true. Still, as an elder, I feel that there must be something between cast- ing judgment and doing nothing. I can only imagine how confusing the situation must be — as being involved with one person can be a challenge in and of itself. I have told her directly that I love her dearly, want the best for her and that my door is always open should she ever wish my support or advice. Is there anything else you'd recommend? —ConcernedRelative DEAR CONCERNED » Poly- amory has stepped out of the shadows and is a relationship choice being made more often. Either that or it has a new press agent. Whichever it is, the sort of group com- mingling, partner sharing and swapping upends our notion of what romantic attachment is "supposed" to be like. This relation- ship model certainly makes us question what marriage is. You sound wise. We live in an era where expressing any opinion on someone else's behavior smacks of "judgment," and yet why are we here, if not to make choices and judgments and to gently guide our loved ones? I understand your instinct and your concern. However, my view is that consenting adults will do what consent- ing adults will do, and they have a right to their choices, unless they harm children or scare the horses. In the case you outline, all three are mutually consenting adults. Your relative is not (apparently) having an affair with one of the spouses. Rather, the mar- ried couple has invited in the new partner, which makes her not an inter- loper but a guest. Yes, someone is go- ing to get hurt. But hurt happens in most relation- ships. Your harshest judg- ment would be reserved for the married couple who are presumably older and who (I assume) hold the power. On the face of it, this feels exploitative — but you don't know. Your response so far has been perfect. If you are worried, say so. If you have questions, ask them with an open mind. Hold your loved one close and offer her a soft place to fall. She's going to need it — but then, we all do. Three's no longer a crowd: Polyamory hires an agent You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Capricorn(Dec.22-Jan. 19) — Business and personal re- lationships will develop through networking functions and social activities. Attend an industry party and explore possibilities. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — You'll have some good ideas that, once developed, will help you bring in extra cash. Take ac- tion and discuss your plans with someone. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Find out what you can do to assist older relatives during the taxing festive season. Someone you love will give you something special. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Self-discipline and personal changes that could improve your image, appearance or reputation will pay off. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — The sky is the limit. If you aim high, you will finish what you start. Picking up odds and ends for the upcoming festivities will get you in the spirit of the sea- son. Romance is encouraged. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Stay focused or you will misin- terpret a situation or offer. Read between the lines and don't leave anything to chance. If you want to make a change, do your research first. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Put your heart into making your home ready for the holiday sea- son. Spending time with friends, family or children will brighten your day. Update your look in order to receive compliments. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Control your emotions and avoid getting into a spat. At work and at home, you are best off keep- ing the peace. Make personal improvements instead of trying to change others. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — If you control whatever situation you find yourself in, you will be deemed a hero. Your insight- ful way of handling others will result in an unexpected surprise. Romance will improve your personal life. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Don't run yourself ragged trying to take care of demanding people who have little concern for your well-being. Focus on yourself, not those who take advantage of you. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Your imagination will lead you in a wonderful direction. Cre- ative ideas will help you incor- porate comfort and convenience into your living quarters. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Bring about changes that will improve your life. Put an end to bad habits and unsavory influences. Choose your lot in life. Don't let others determine where you'll end up. Horoscope By Eugenia Last TUESDAY, DEC. 22 | YOURDAILYBREAK | REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM TUESDAY, DECEMBER 22, 2015 4 B