Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/615930
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman PHOEBEANDHERUNICORN DanaSimpson ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Ihavea controlling, manipulative guilt-tripping mother-in- law-to-be! I know that each time I hear from her she is just trying to trap me into saying yes to something. These traps include trying to get me to change our wedding plans, and roping me into a jew- elry party (repeatedly pushing on that). She just can't understand the word "no." When I did say no she whined to my fiance, saying it felt like a slap in the face (can you say "manipulation"?). This has to stop. My fiance tried dealing with it by telling his mom that I will say no to some things, but I felt this was really his way of calling me "pushy." My fiance tried the kid gloves approach and it didn't work. I decided to take matters into my own hands and texted her three examples of her overstepping her bound- aries and letting her know it would no longer be tolerated. She had the nerve to say it made her "sad." Now he is having a hard time because his mom is upset. He doesn't understand that we have to back each other up in situations like this. His mom is so bad that she needs a copy of his shift schedule at work to keep track of him. Maybe my approach is too direct, but so what? We are in our 40s and don't need to be under her thumb. I don't let my mom get away with this kind of behavior and I'm certainly not letting a MIL do this. What is your opinion? —Upset DEAR UPSET » Read- ing your letter gives me anxiety, as I look into the future and see no way out for your poor guy. In terms of who gets to con- trol him, he seems to have met his mother's match. Your fiance has been giving in to his mother for a lifetime. Do not insist that he fight her using your aggressive techniques. You are tak- ing the coward's way out by texting offensive lists of her transgressions and then hiding behind your fiance when she reacts. Of course this makes her sad, and you can affirm this. You should sit down with her and as kindly and calmly as possible let her k now t hat when you say "no" to something the first time, that is also a final answer. Expect her to react in the way that has worked for her in the past — to be emotional. You can respectfully say, "I can tell this is hard for you, but if we give it time, I know we can all adjust." Be respectful, firm and consistent. DEAR AMY » Like "Asth- matic," I have asthma and a mother-in-law who smokes. I was really nervous, but years ago I ended up doing exactly as you suggested — I simply told her about my illness and asked if she wouldn't smoke while I was there. I never expected it to hap- pen — but she became a fierce advocate for me. — Still Asthmatic DEAR STILL » Wonderful. Fiancee won't go on guilt trip with her monster-in-law You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec. 21) — Soul-searching will help you put your life in perspective. Getting back to basics and away from indulgences will help you establish a new beginning. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Re-evaluate your current situation and consider how to keep everything running smoothly. Balance and equality will be key. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Don't make physical changes based on unreliable information. Consider the pros and cons be- fore you commit. Better health will come from proper diet. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — You can have fun without compromising your bank ac- count. Love shouldn't come with a price tag. Aries (March 21-April 19) — You will have an impact on others if you take charge. Let your heart and passionate beliefs lead the way, but not at the expense of your health or financial well-being. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Reconnect with old friends. Make a point to reminisce and consider what you might have done differently. It's never too late to make a change. Use your intuitive intelligence. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — You may think you have everything under control, but if you have taken on too much, you will fall short. Ask for help in order to bring about positive change. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Don't get worked up over nothing when you should be en- joying all the festivities. 'Tis the season to be jolly and to forgive and forget. Bearing grudges is a waste of time. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Your relentless drive will be just what is called for. Bold actions coupled with good ideas will help you present your game plan to those who can help make your dreams come true. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — You need to pace your every move. Taking on too much will cause you to worry and doubt yourself. Own your ideas and present them with confidence. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Changes can be made if you are driven by passion and desire. Make your move based on your skills, knowledge and confidence. Mix business with pleasure. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Keep your life and current emotional situation in perspec- tive. Strive to be unique, and use your imagination to come up with a plan that will work for you. Travel and romance are encouraged. Horoscope By Eugenia Last TUESDAY, DEC. 15 TUESDAY,DECEMBER15,2015 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B