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FEATURES Dear Annie: My 64-year-old brother has refused to talk to my 86- year-old father for nearly 10 years. When our mother died, Dad married a nice Christian widow. He then sold the family home. He and his new wife built a new one in another town. Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar My brother still thinks Dad should have split the sale profit with his children since half the house belonged to our mother. As far as I am concerned, Dad was not obligated to do this. By law, my mother's assets passed to her surviv- ing spouse, which means Dad owned the house out- right. He lives solely on his Social Security benefits and needed the money. My brother has had multiple sclerosis for 30 years. He and his family struggled financially, and my parents gave them a lot of money over the years to keep them afloat. For my brother to want more is shocking. My other sib- lings and I don't feel enti- tled to any of Dad's money. My brother's children are grown. When his daughter married four years ago, he didn't invite Dad to the wedding. She is expecting a child, and Dad learned about it through other family members. He is deeply hurt by this. Dad's health is starting to deteriorate. He has tried to make contact with my brother several times, to no avail. give up. Our brother spends no holidays with us My siblings are ready to and doesn't get in touch for any rea- son. I suggested Dad leave him alone. There is nothing he can do at this point. Do you agree? If not, what do you sug- gest? — Puzzled in Indiana family over money. After 10 years, it's doubtful he will rethink his sense of entitlement. We suggest you keep in touch on a Christmas-card level, send- ing birthday wishes once a year, keeping him updated about Dad's health. He may not respond, but it requires only minimal effort and leaves the door open should he ever change his mind. Dear Annie: Is it OK to How sad that your brother is willing to abandon his tell a woman that her hus- band had a three-year affair? I have ample proof because the Other Woman happens to be a dear friend of mine. most selfish person I have ever met. If it were me, I would absolutely want to know. However, I under- stand that not all women are like me. The husband is the would rather not speak up, although she would tell the truth if asked. However, I believe that ship has sailed. The wife once had suspicions, but her manipulative husband managed to convince her otherwise. So, should I tell her or not? — Unsure in Miami The Other Women Dear Unsure: Some women can live with the Dear Indiana: illusion that their husbands are faithful even if they suspect otherwise, but hav- ing the truth shoved in their faces makes them angry — not with the husband, but with the messenger. You obviously don't like this man and would enjoy see- ing him suffer, but the news would mostly hurt his wife. If there is a chance she has contracted an STD from her philandering hus- band, she should be told. Otherwise, please stay out of it. Dear Annie: My heart goes out to "Lonely in New York," the 70-years-young lady who would be happy kissing, hugging, cuddling and having a sex life. I am in a similar situation with my wife. You should put the two of us together, thereby solving two problems at the same time, without either of us having to leave our marriages. How about it? — Lonely in Kelowna Dear Lonely: Sorry, but we don't run a match- making service. And there are inherent risks in con- necting anonymous readers with each other. Please find a better solution to your problem than cheating on your wife. To our Jewish readers: Saturday, April 7, 2012 – Daily News 5A Brother's greed hurts family New recommendations not the last word Preventive Services Task Force has released new guidelines for PSA testing for prostate cancer. It's a complicated issue that I find difficult to understand. What's your interpre- tation? Q: I understand the United States A: It's not surprising you're con- fused; prostate-specific antigen (PSA) testing is a controversial issue. And major news outlets have inadvertently made the issue even more difficult. The New York Times headline announcing the long-awaited Unit- ed States Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF) recommendations on PSA testing stated, "U.S. Panel Says No to Prostate Screening for Healthy Men." The public response was immediate. Some people agreed, some were confused, and some were even angry. The CEO of a prominent prostate cancer advocacy group proclaimed that the USPSTF position "con- demns tens of thousands of men to die this year and every year going forward." PSA testing is a complex issue that requires careful consideration. What the New York Times headline didn't convey is that the USPSTF position is a recommenda- tion, not a command. The task force cannot take away a man's right to have a PSA test, nor would it want to. A happy and healthy Passover. Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast. net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. • Everyday Cheapskate • Gleaners • Food on the Table The Daily News - At your side when times are tough K W I K K U T S Family Hair Salon $200 REGULAR HAIRCUT off with coupon Not good with other offers 1064 South Main St., Red Bluff • 529-3540 Reg. $13.95 Expires 4/30/12 James W. 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C A L L P A U L Blinds & Draperies www.nsbd.biz Lic.#906022 527-0842 North State Paul Stubbs Contractor When you want it done right ... HIRE A LICENSED CONTRACTOR! Complete directory of Tehama County contractors online, listed by specialty on 2011 Contractors Guide under "Special Sections" Storage www.RedBluffDailyNews.com Click on Still, the report is important because it points out that screening for early prostate cancer may do more harm than good. That's because although the PSA test itself is sim- ple, interpreting its results is not. And while the test is inexpensive, it can lead to high downstream costs, both in dollars and health. By now, most men over age 50 in the United States have had a PSA test for prostate cancer, and many have been tested repeatedly. That's no surprise, since Ameri- cans have been encouraged to value the early diagnosis of cancer. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. worrying that early diagnosis may not be a good thing. detect tumors that would never cause harm. Even worse, since a diagnosis of prostate cancer in the United States usually leads to treatment, PSA testing leads to overtreat- ment. This can lead to significant side effects, with erectile dysfunction heading the list and urinary incontinence in second place. So while PSA testing surely saves some lives, it also produces substantial distress in men who never needed any treatment. The third issue relates to the test itself. Most American doctors use 4.0 nanograms per milliliter (ng/ml) as a cutoff, accepting results below that as normal and higher val- ues as abnormal. Yet research has document- ed that many men with PSA scores below the cutoff actually do have prostate cancer, and even more men with scores over this cut- off are free of cancer. That's because benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH), infections, inflammation and other conditions can boost PSA levels, while many other conditions can lower PSA readings. Second, the PSA test cannot tell which cancers are likely to be slow- growing and which are aggressive. That means routine screening will extremely variable course. In some cases it's aggressive and lethal. But much more often, it's slow-grow- ing. In other words, many prostate cancers are harmless even if untreated. First, prostate cancer has an But while the appeal of PSA screening is understandable, controversy began almost as soon as the PSA test became popular. Some experts worried that testing might do more harm than good. The argument for PSA testing is simple. Prostate cancer is the leading internal malig- nancy in American men. It is also the sec- ond-leading cause of cancer death in Ameri- can men. Early detection of prostate cancer offers the best chance of cure. The PSA blood test is the best currently available way to detect prostate cancer. That makes PSA screening sound like a no-brainer. But it's not the whole story. Even the most outspoken critics of rou- tine PSA screening of healthy men agree that testing does detect a large number of early cancers. But skeptics have three reasons for Albertson Training Center The USPSTF has spent years evaluating the pros and cons of PSA screening for prostate cancer. The task force as updated its guideliness as the results of major PSA stud- ies have become available. The new recom- mendation against routine screening applies to healthy men with no symptoms of prostate cancer and no particular prostate cancer risk factors. Doctors and patients should take the recommendation seriously, but they should also understand that one size does not fit all. It may be time to redirect some energy and funding to other crucial issues, starting with ways to prevent the disease. We also have a desperate need for good markers to tell if a man is at risk for aggressive prostate cancer, for better ways to distinguish harm- less cancers from potential killers, and for research to find treatments that can cure aggressive tumors. The new USPSTF recommenda- tion is an important evolutionary develop- ment, but it is not the last word on PSA test- ing and it has not done much to quiet the controversy. Still, one thing the most pas- sionate PSA advocates and skeptics can agree on is that America's prostate cancer death toll is far, far too high. 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