Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
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DECEMBER 2-8, 2015 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Dust in the Lust I'm a man who has been married three times. Upon reflection, it seems to me that most women are ultimately not that interested in sex as a recreational activity. I try to be a selfless and devoted lover, but I always see a steep drop in a woman's sexual interest after we're together for a while. Can I do something to avoid this? — Wondering Anthropologist Peter B. Gray and evolutionary biologist Justin Garcia write in Evolution & Human Sexual Behavior that a survey of the scientific literature finds what many of us probably recognize — that men, on average, have stronger and more consistent sex drives. As social psychologist Roy Baumeister put it in one of these studies: "Men want sex more than women at the start of a relationship, in the middle of it, and after many years of it." Gray and Garcia explain that "within an evolutionary lens, this (difference) makes sense." They're referring to how it was in an ancestral man's (gene-spreading) best interest to have sex with any woman who'd have him. Women, however, benefited from being choosier. But there's choosiness and there's choosing to replace hot sex with hot scrapbooking. When sexologist Rosemary Basson read a 1999 study with over a third of women reporting "low sexual desire," she began to wonder whether the problem is in the women or in the expectation that desire in women will play out the way it does in men. Basson found that in the early stages of a relationship, or if women are away from their partner for days or weeks, they will have that from-out-of-nowhere lust to get it on that men do. But once a woman settles into a relationship, sex often becomes a "responsive event." This doesn't mean her sex drive is permanently up on blocks on the front lawn. It's what Basson calls "triggerable," meaning that a woman first needs to start fooling around, which will lead to her getting aroused. She'll then feel desire and be up for sexcapades. But because many couples don't know this, their sex lives (and often their relationships) go to pot while they wait around for the woman's desire like a bus that never comes. This should tell you that it's wise, when in a relationship, to schedule not just date night but sex date night. Sure having this as an event alert on your iPhone — just below "City Council meeting" — probably sounds pretty unsexy. However, it's ultimately a whole lot sexier than getting to the point where your penis starts rogue-answering your phone with charming little greetings like "Death Row, how may I direct your call?" Copyright AMY ALKON WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Professional patients now help train would-be doctors, especially in the most delicate and dreaded of exams (gynecological and prostate), where a becalming technique improves outcomes. One "teaching associate" of Eastern Virginia Medical School told The Washington Post in September that the helpers act as "enthusiastic surgical dummies" to 65 medical colleges, guiding rookie fingers through the trainer's own private parts. The prostate associate might helpfully caution, "No need for speed here," especially since he will be bending over for as many as nine probings a day. A gynecological teaching associate, mentoring the nervous speculum-wielder, might wittily congratulate pupils on having a front-row sight line the "GTA" will never witness: an up-close view of her own cervix. [Washington Post, 9-3-2015] Latest Religious Messages American Sharia: (1) U.S. parents have a right to home-school their kids, but are subject to varying degrees of regulation, with Texas the most lax, and one El Paso family will have a day before the Texas Supreme Court after one of its kids was reported declining to study because education was useless since he was waiting to be "raptured" (as described in the Bible's Book of Revelation). (2) U.S. courts increasingly allow customers to sign away state and federal rights by agreeing to contracts providing private arbitration for disputes rather than access to courts — even if the contract explicitly requires only religious resolutions rather than secular, constitutional ones. A November New York Times investigation examined contracts ranging from Scientology's requirement that fraud claims by members be resolved only by Scientologists — to various consumer issues from home repairs to real estate sales limited to dockets of Christian clerics. [Associated Press via Dallas Morning News, 11-1-2015] [New York Times, 11-3-2015] Leading Economic Indicators At a ceremony in Kabul in November, prominent Afghan developer Khalilullah Frozi signed a $95 million contract to build an 8,800-unit township and was, according to a New York Times dispatch, toasted for his role in the country's economic rebirth. However, at nightfall, Frozi headed back to prison to resume his 15-year sentence for defrauding Kabul Bank of nearly $1 billion in depositors' money. Because he remains one of Afghanistan's elite, arrangements were made for him to work days but spend his nights in prison (in comfortable quarters). Said one Western official, laconically, "(I)f you have stolen enough money, you can get away with it." [New York Times, 11-4-2015] COPYRIGHT CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, you can be quite generous when you choose to be, but sometimes you can overlook the needs of others. Pay as much attention to others' needs as possible this week. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Little things influence how others look at you, Taurus, so make sure you get all of your ducks in a row -- especially at work. Focus on some finer details. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 You may not be in a practical mood this week, Gemini. Fortunately for you, there isn't much of importance that needs to be done, so you are free to let loose a little bit. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 This isn't a week to take a walk down Memory Lane, Cancer. Focus on the future rather than getting lost in nostalgia. However, let your past guide your actions a bit. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, your calendar is filling up quickly, but you cannot add any days to the calendar. Divide your responsibilities so you can better handle everything on your slate. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 Ambivalence will get you nowhere fast, Virgo. It can be difficult to make decisions, but that's something you have to do this week. Once you do, you can forge ahead. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, you are capable of making intelligent, objective decisions. Expect to find yourself with a growing list of new friends who want your advice. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Now is not the time to begin a new project, Scorpio. Rather, keep a low profile and finish up any tasks that you did not get to finish last week. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, it's difficult to get a good read on any associates or friends, which could impact your plans moving forward. You may need to make a few assumptions and back track later. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, right now all you can think about is your career and your financial future. That's okay because you've been meaning to give more thought to your finances and how to proceed. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, you may feel yourself pulled in two different directions this week. There's a part of you that is focused on home, and another that knows work beckons. Find a balance. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 It may seem like getting others to open up is a struggle this week. Find a way to communicate as best you can, Pisces. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard