Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/608286
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman PHOEBEANDHERUNICORN DanaSimpson ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Ihavebeen married to my husband for a wonderful 17 years, but I have never felt ac- cepted by his family. He is one of seven children. They are very close. They plan get-togeth- ers and don't remember to tell us until the last minute. When we are not available last minute, they shame us for not mak- ing family a priority. Recently I received a Facebook mes- sage from one of my hus- band's brothers. He is a single man. He told me I have no right to be upset for not feeling invited to family get-togethers and that we should make time when we are invited. As a family of four, be- tween three jobs, school and activities, we are very challenged to find time when invited at the last minute. This same brother told me he tries to avoid us. He finds me too com- petitive and says it has influenced our daughter to the point that she has become a bossy know-it- all, making it difficult to enjoy her. Is it inappropriate for one brother to insult his brother's wife and daughter? How should I respond to my brother-in- law in a way that builds a family relationship? —LeftOutandHurt DEAR LEFT OUT » Yes, it is inappropriate for your brother-in-law to insult you. So now that you know that he is inap- propriate, how lucky you must feel that he prom- is e s t o av oi d yo u ! Families are com- plicated. Large families often have a herd mental- ity that is both wonderful and challenging. It is fun to be part of a herd when they are including and enfolding you. It is no fun at all to be on the fringes and to feel judged. When someone insults you, you can respond by saying, "Well, I'm so sorry you feel that way, but I really don't appreciate your comments." It is also appropriate to delete the message and not respond at all, if you don't want to. In terms of your hus- band's family, you should put the word out that you are doing your best and will continue to try to attend family functions. Because of your other commitments, you can only do what you can do. What I'm suggesting is a sort of detachment where you realize that you are not responsible for the way other people behave. See the good in these people when you can, enjoy the good bits and the individual friend- ships with your in-laws when you can have them, and plan your exit for those times when you don't like the dynamic. DEAR AMY » Regarding "Upset Parents," whose adult c hild ren se emed always to find fault with them, they should let their kids know that when they are footing the bill, they can weigh in on tipping, driving, etc. My father's favorite phrase (he's a pilot) is, "If you're buying, I'm flying." — Midwest Controller DEAR CONTROLLER » I've used this phrase many times myself. Well done and thank you. In-law feels left out of family gatherings and insulted You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Sagittarius(Nov.23-Dec. 21) — Being too demanding will alienate people. If you have concerns, voice them, but not in such a way that you drown out everyone else. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Pick up the slack if a family member or colleague is over- whelmed with responsibilities. Insurance or estate issues will be complex and confusing, but you must deal with them. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Don't let emotional blackmail dictate your actions. Younger family members will be demanding. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — You will get the help you need if you approach the right people. Improve your list of contacts by joining service groups. Aries (March 21-April 19) — You will be feeling passion- ate. A current relationship will blossom. If you are single, don't refuse an invitation that has the potential to lead to an introduc- tion to someone special. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Something you think is a bargain will not turn out so well. You will be remorseful if you spend your hard-earned cash and don't receive what you are expecting. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Remind yourself of the positive things in your life. Dwelling on past regrets or missed opportu- nities will leave you depressed. Moving forward works better if you stop looking back. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Maintain your self-respect. Take a deep breath and consider your words before you end up say- ing things you regret. A senior family member will offer sage advice. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Short-tempered colleagues will make your workspace volatile. Many negative repercussions will transpire if you don't remain neutral. Protect your reputation and position. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't need to feel melan- choly if one of your projects or proposals is rejected. Keep try- ing and something or someone better will come along. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — A business or pleasure trip will result in mishaps. Make the best of whatever situation you face and avoid losing your temper. A sense of humor will bring good results. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Your zest for life and adven- ture will make you susceptible to the lure of a risky venture. Exercise common sense before you take on something that will hurt your status or reputation. Horoscope By Eugenia Last SATURDAY, NOV. 28 SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2015 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 7 B