Up & Coming Weekly

JANUARY 13-19, 2010 UCW 27 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS The Lovr Bloat Are we fighting human nature in trying to be monogamous? I'm dating a guy I dated five years ago. Back then, he was sexually inexperienced. Now that he's been around the block, he totally disagrees with monogamy and wants us to have a sexually open relationship. I'm very open-minded and have no problem with people in these relationships, but know they're not for me. We can't discuss the issue because he gets so defensive and riled up, civil conversation is impossible. He accuses me of looking down on him and finding him "disgusting," which I don't. He almost has me convinced that the only successful relationships are the open ones, and that I'm one of a minority of people who want monogamy. — Turned Around Yes, the suburbs are just teeming with wives calling to their husbands as they're going out the door for work, "Honey, want me to TiVo your dinosaurs thing in case your sex date runs long?" Actually, it seems clear that vast numbers of people are having sex with somebody other than their partner or spouse. They just do it behind that person's back, as did the then- married Newt Gingrich, probing Clinton about lying about l'affaire Lewinsky — when Gingrich wasn't too busy probing his naked congressional aide. Other married cheaters will roll out of a motel room bed, then snarl about how horrible and disgusting it is for other consenting adults to have sexually open relationships: those where partners honestly confront the fairytale notions that one person can meet another person's every need; that two people can remain together "till death do us part," and not get to the point where keeping the spark alive is a job for a Panty Bomber-load of PETN explosive. The Bible is no help to those who claim that the multiple partnered are immoral and wrong. Gideon, the guy the hotel room editions are named for, had lots of wives and a concubine. King Solomon had hundreds of both. In Biblical Literacy, Rabbi Joseph Telushkin writes that "Biblical law permits a man to have more than one wife," but he adds that "biblical narrative...depicts multiple marriages as almost always leading to multiple miseries." Even Nena O'Neill, co-author of the '70s bombshell Open Marriage, came around to that point of view. She subsequently wrote in The Marriage Premise that couples may agree to sexual nonexclusivity, but often experience jealousy, insecurity, resentment, anger, and feelings of abandonment — "sometimes as strongly as they do when a clandestine affair is discovered." So, a person can make lofty pronouncements about not wanting to deny their partner any of life's pleasures — until the difference sinks in between having extra hot fudge and having the hairy guy next door. As for your situation, are you in a relationship or a really tiny cult? You've made it clear the open thing just isn't for you. If your boyfriend cared about you, he'd say, "Aw, gee whiz, wish you felt differently," and probably be on his way. But, he's determined to have his cake and a bunch of other people's cake, too, so he's trying to bully and head-game you into believing you're small-minded and boring. He's got you so sidetracked defending yourself against bogus charges (looking down on him, finding him "disgusting") that you're on your way to glancing up from your relationship and finding that you're no longer part of a couple but a face in the crowd. Ditch this guy and find one who's open to discussing your needs — beyond how you'll need to let him keep the key to your heart in a cabinet he bought off somebody running a valet parking concession. Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPE THIS WEEK in the STARS www.Astrology-101.com ARIES - March 21 thru April 20 Think positive! Sun and Venus join forces in your sector of Hopes which helps wishes come to reality. Visualization is a powerful helper also. TAURUS - April 21 thru May 21 Success in job, career or professional matters is indicated by this week's new positions of Sun and Venus. Take the initiative while the stars are with you. GEMINI - May 22 thru June 21. Sun and Venus spotlight an interest in Travel and Education concerns. Good news from others in far away places may also come to pass soon. CANCER - June 22 thru July 23 It may be time for new thinking in your fi nancial dealings with others. This week's planetary indications brings new opportunities for gain. LEO - July 24 thru August 23 As Sun and Venus join forces in your sector of "meaningful others", relationships and new business agreements are under favorable stars for new beginnings. VIRGO - August 24 thru Sept 23 Focus on workplace. Your talents and abilities are an important step in helping your future. Health programs started now have an excellent success ratio. LIBRA - Sept 24 thru Oct 23 Favorable star patterns may bring new opportunities to display talents and dis- cover new romance for eligibles. Pursue interests with confi dence. SCORPIO - Oct 24 thru Nov 22 Be ready to make important decisions regarding real estate or other Domestic decisions. Loans or backing from others should not be diffi cult to obtain. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23 thru Dec 21 An "acre of diamonds" may be under your feet if you dig a little deeper. Have the determination to keep in touch with contacts you've seen before. CAPRICORN - Dec 22 thru Jan 20 . Month provides opportunities for gain as Sun and Venus move thru your Money sector. Promote what you do best for rewards and recognition. AQUARIUS - Jan 21 thru Feb 19 Your sign plays host to this week's new positions of Sun and Venus. New Year brings new opportunities. Expect changes for the better. PISCES - Feb 20 thru March 2F0 It may be time to review your goals, to accent the positive and eliminate the negative. If there are questions, sleep on them for answers! NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD In Somalia, which is without a central government to speak of and where very little functions beyond an Islamic resistance and individual warlords' fi efdoms, a robust "stock market" has emerged in the city of Haradheere for "investors" in the seagoing pirate "industry," to raise money and supplies for kidnappers in exchange for a share of the bounty once a ransom is paid. According to a December Reuters dispatch, 72 "companies" are listed on the exchange, enabling "venture capital" to fund greater piracy traffi c and more sophisticated looting. There even seems to be a fi nancial "bubble" at work, in that since the "exchange" opened, pirates' ransoms have doubled to about $4 million per ship. [Reuters, 12-1-09] Cultural Diversity Afghanistan's national game, buzkashi, is attempting a marketing transformation inspired by pro football's and basketball's growths in the United States over the last several decades, according to a November USA Today dispatch. The main hindrance is that buzkashi is often little more than violent anarchy. A team of 12 men on horseback tries to carry a goat carcass the length of a fi eld, around a goal and back, through an opposing team "defense" that includes almost any tactic short of murder. Spectators are often trampled by riders disregarding boundaries, and horses have dropped dead on the fi eld from abuse or fatigue. The head of the Buzkashi Federation said he aims to present the game for consideration to the International Olympic Committee. [USA Today, 11- 18-09] Latest Religious Messages Carried Away: Since March 2008, the Cathedral of Christ the King in Phoenix has been ringing its bells every half-hour, 24 hours a day, enraging neighbors, and a showdown with city offi cials was looming at press time, according to ABC News. [ABC News, 11-2-09] Martina Rabess, 52, was sanctioned by Britain's Sevenoaks Magistrates Court in October after neighbors complained about her loud, continuous recitations of the Lord's Prayer in early morning hours around her apartment house. [Daily Mail, 10-19-09] Atlanta municipal bus driver Leroy Matthews was suspended in November for a recent incident in which he suddenly stopped the bus and refused to open the doors until the alighting passenger joined hands with him in prayer. [WSB-TV, 11-6-09]

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