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4A Daily News – Friday, March 16, 2012 Opinion Flyers, fungus, Margherita and smiles all 'round D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY T H E V O I C E O F T E H A M A C O U N T Y S I N C E 1 8 8 5 Pizza is a staple for many reasons — it's fast, inexpen- sive, can feed any size group and there just aren't many folks who don't like it. Pizza means celebration — Greg Stevens, Publisher gstevens@redbluffdailynews.com Chip Thompson, Editor editor@redbluffdailynews.com Editorial policy The Daily News opinion is expressed in the editorial. The opinions expressed in columns, letters and cartoons are those of the authors and artists. Letter policy The Daily News welcomes let- ters from its readers on timely topics of public interest. All let- ters must be signed and pro- vide the writer's home street address and home phone num- ber. Anonymous letters, open letters to others, pen names and petition-style letters will not be allowed. Letters should be typed and cannot exceed two double-spaced pages or 500 words. When several letters address the same issue, a cross section of those submit- ted will be considered for publi- cation. Letters will be edited. Letters are published at the discretion of the editor. Mission Statement We believe that a strong com- munity newspaper is essential to a strong community, creating citizens who are better informed and more involved. The Daily News will be the indispensible guide to life and living in Tehama County. We will be the premier provider of local news, information and advertising through our daily newspaper, online edition and other print and Internet vehi- cles. The Daily News will reflect and support the unique identities of Tehama County and its cities; record the history of its com- munities and their people and make a positive difference in the quality of life for the resi- dents and businesses of Tehama County. How to reach us Main office: 527-2151 Classified: 527-2151 Circulation: 527-2151 News tips: 527-2153 Sports: 527-2153 Obituaries: 527-2151 Photo: 527-2153 On the Web www.redbluffdailynews.com Fax Newsroom: 527-9251 Classified: 527-5774 Retail Adv.: 527-5774 Legal Adv.: 527-5774 Business Office: 527-3719 Address 545 Diamond Ave. Red Bluff, CA 96080, or P.O. Box 220 Red Bluff, CA 96080 Your officials STATE ASSEMBLYMAN — Jim Nielsen (R) State Capitol Bldg., Room 6031 Sacramento, CA 95814 (916) 319-2002; Fax (916) 319-2102 STATE SENATOR — Doug LaMalfa (R) State Capitol Bldg., Room 3070 Sacramento, CA 95814 (916) 651-4004; Fax (916) 445-7750 GOVERNOR — Jerry Brown, State Capitol Bldg., Sacramento, CA 95814; (916) 445-2841; Fax (916) 558-3160; E-mail: gover- nor@governor.ca.gov. U.S. REPRESENTATIVE — Wally Herger (R), 2595 Cean- othus Ave., Ste. 182, Chico, CA 95973; 893-8363. U.S.SENATORS — Dianne Feinstein (D), One Post Street, Suite 2450, San Francisco, CA 94104; (415) 393-0707. Fax (415) 393-0710. Barbara Boxer (D), 1700 Montgomery St., Suite 240, San Francisco, CA 94111; (510) 286-8537. Fax (202) 224- 0454. Tea parties and treehouses Commentary If readers prefer brevity, as demonstrated in this column, they might revel in the fol- lowing recap of Republican Presidential candidates, past and present whom Hendrik Hertzberg, writing in the New Yorker, describes as an overlapping assortment of Fox News friends, Limbaugh dittoheads, Tea Party animals, war hoopers, nativists, Christianist fundamentalists, a la carte Catholics (anti-abortion, yes; anti-torture, no) anti-Rooseveltians (Franklin and Theodore), global warming denialists, post- Confederate white Southrons, creationists, birthers, market idolaters, Europe demoniz- ers, and gun fetishists. *** I read in the Chico News and Review of an elderly couple who lived in a tree house in a canyon east of Chico for some 30 or 40 years. It was an interesting tale of a couple who lived in a wilderness area and only ven- tured to town for supplies. They were not married but evidently enjoyed each other's company in a location offering little but soli- tude. On the other hand, the way in which their back-to-nature existence came to an end was quite strange. I will make contact with the author for more details. *** L. Brown, in a letter to the editor, took Richard Mazzucchi to task and alleged the columnist was all wet regarding water diver- sion requested by parties down south. I'm not taking sides in the issue, but merely not- ing when one represents himself as an expert in the environmental fields, as does Mr. Mazzucchi, it is easy for the reader to con- clude that he must know what he is talking about…but when, if challenged, the expert will be forced to apply ink while backing and filling. Thus is the beauty and reward for compiling a column, such as mine, devoted to three-asterisk paragraphs regard- ing things of little import. It is difficult to nail such writers, because our topics are generally nothing for readers to get "het up" about. Even writing of a subject close to a reader's heart…such as organized religion, gets little rise from readers with faith in their makeup. The potpourri column creates only a modicum of fire in readers' belly, and only those still awaiting unrequited thank yous, choose to return to the fray. *** I quoted witty Farm Bureau columnist Lee Pitts awhile back concerning his dis- pleasure with the current fad of saddling pets with women's names such as Lily, Emma, Katy and Judy in favor of more tra- ditional names such as Bingo, Buster, Buddy, Rover and Potlicker. He went on to say, in part, if you name your pet Chloe, for example, you may guar- antee him getting beat up by every pit bull or rot- tweiler that came down the path. You might as well call him Precious. However, if I were to ask Lee if he thought Murray Clyde's name would pass muster, I think he would agree that it is a good name for a very big Bullmastiff who toler- ates smaller dogs and leads an un-intimidated life. *** the virgin birth and the devil, while those believing in ghosts, UFOs and astrology hover in the lower percentages of 42, 32 and 26 respectively. So there is hope for enlightenment…but I sus- pect it will be sloth like in coming. *** Robert Minch I Say Some of the stuff coming down the Inter- net pike is worth repeating. According to the ladies, a computer is masculine gender because, to get a man to do anything you have to turn him on, they are supposed to help you solve problems but half the time they are the problem…and as soon as a woman commits to one, she real- izes if she had waited a little longer she could have gotten a better model. Men, on the other hand believe that a computer is female because, no one but their creator understands their internal logic, even the smallest mistakes are stored in their long term memory for later retrieval…and, as soon as you make a commitment to a woman, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for her. *** A new Harris Poll finds 82 percent of people believe in God…and nearly the same number believe in miracles, in heaven, that Jesus is the son of God, believe in angels, the survival of the soul after death and in the resurrection of Jesus. Contrast this with the stunning knowledge that less than 50 per- cent of adults believe in Darwin's theory of evolution…and yet this is better than the 40 percent who believe in creationism. To fur- ther illustrate the human brain in action, take note that 60 percent of adults believe in hell, Last week's quiz was answered most wonderful- ly by R. Ratledge who explained the word "floride" might be French for Florida but "fluoride" has, of course, many appli- cations including pesticides and cavity prevention. As to my trick question regard- ing smoke from an "elec- tric" train, that most such are diesel/electric hybrids and therefore capable of generating smoke...and that "The Ides of March" stems from the Latin "Idus" meaning the middle of the month. He adds, with tongue in cheek, that despite all this "your quizzes are just too tough for me, but I do enjoy the column." This week's quiz: In an attempt to derail the Mensa types such as R. Ratledge, what is absent from this sentences? "Men were never perfect; yet the three brethren were ever esteemed, respected, revered, even when the rest, whether the select few, whether the mere herd, were left neglected." *** Rumor has it that a once popular colum- nist may be returning to our little town! *** In a supermarket, a man was pushing a cart that contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert, Albert, don't scream, Albert, calm yourself."A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your little son Albert." The man looked at her and replied, "Lady, I'm Albert." Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red Bluff, former columnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the "The Knocking Pen." He can be reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail.com. it's the food little league teams choose when they revel in victory and commiserate in loss, college students buy for all-night cram sessions and families order when the day precludes preparing a full din- ner. Pizza just makes us happy. We eat it family style, all tak- ing pieces of the same pie, whether we are family, team- mates or coworkers. We can eat as much or as little as we like. Announce that there is pizza and you won't find many in the group who don't perk up and join in. There are as many varia- tions on pizza as there are pizza lovers, and we all love to customize. Combinations of toppings are limited only by a diner's imagination, some pizzerias going so far as to offer dessert pizzas with toppings such as Heath Bar, fruit and chocolate fudge. Curious about the title of this column? Flyers are pepperoni slices and fungus refers mushrooms. The combination is pizzeria slang for a pepperoni and mushroom pie. Legend has it that Queen Margherita of Italy paid a visit to Naples in 1889 and was served a pizza represent- ing the colors of the Italian flag — tomatoes, mozzarella and basil. Whether or not this is true, it makes a heck of a story — not to mention a heck of a pie. As March Madness, and hence Munch Madness, rolled ever closer this win- ter, we had to find a category for the annual round of fun local restaurant match-ups. While at a pizzeria with a friend, we put our heads together and came up with a tentative list of 16 places to buy pizza in Tehama County. In years past, with fessional food crit- ics. If your favorite pizzeria is eliminat- ed early on, don't fret — it will still be your favorite. But maybe you'll try some others, or even learn about a pizza joint you never knew existed. burgers, breakfasts and burritos, we sim- ply took the top 16 vote-getters in the Best of Tehama County voting. This time it was more of a stretch. We did end up with 16, though, so we'll try them all in head-to-head competi- tion and arrive at the Munch Madness pick for 2012. Remember, we're not pro- Chip Thompson 545 Diamond Ave. hungry. Chip Thompson can be reached at 527-2151, Ext. 112 or by email at editor@redbluffdailynews.com. As of Saturday's edition, we'll be down to the Elite Ate with the final four publishing March 31. The Chompionship will appear in the April 3 edition. Stay tuned, stay