Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/583044
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman PHOEBEANDHERUNICORN DanaSimpson ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Ihavesix siblings, one older than I am. When my older sister and I were young (13 and 15) our mother had a long-lasting affair with her "business partner." She had four children from that affair while married to our stepfa- ther. At the time, it wasn't a secret; our stepfa- ther knew and stayed with her (for some reason). After her fourth and final child, she cut ties with her lover and it became a family secret. The five youngest children do not remem- ber the affair. For the four youngest, the man they consider their father is not their biological father. Recently the oldest child from this affair asked me what I remem- bered about our mother's business partner, and said he had stumbled upon some weird memo- ries of him and her together. He asked if I knew whether they had a more intimate relationship. I am struggling with the "right thing to do" because there is still a 16-year-old sibling at home (the others are over 18). He said he had asked our mother, but she said "no" and glossed over everything. I never wanted to hold this secret, and now my sister and I are being forced to be complicit in the lie. I'm struggling with whether it is my/our responsibility to tell, since my mother will not; and if so, when is the best time to tell someone something so horrible. — F eeli ng Gu ilty by Association DEAR GUILTY » Your siblings have the right to know the identity of their biological father. It is, quite literally, their birthright. Family secrets have a way of gaining power over time until they form a hard, tough and dangerous core. Secrets can damage individuals, families and relationships in unseen ways over time. For instance, look at how you and your sister are wrestling with this, even as your brother seems to suffer with his own suspicions. Your mother's choice to hold this close has transformed her into a denier — and a liar. I don't know if I would characterize this as some- thing so "horrible," but more as something that simply is. You and your sister should meet with your mother and tell her that you will not hold on to this secret for her. If she needs help with how to disclose it, you should be available to meet this challenge with empathy. A professional family therapist could help all of you by meeting with you as individuals and as a group. Over time, your entire family will need help to navigate the fall- out and emotional chal- lenges of this new reality. The best time to face this is right now. Daughter shouldn't be forced to keep mother's dark secret You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Libra(Sept.23-Oct.23)— In order to be considered a con- tender, you need to put yourself out there. You will discover valuable opportunities if you meet with peers and colleagues. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Legal, financial, medical or insurance institutions will give you reason to do some research before making a decision. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Be receptive and attend any gathering that will intro- duce you to newcomers in your community or field. If you take a pass on an invitation, you will miss out on an opportunity. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Don't squabble over what's already happened when you should be looking for a way to rectify the problem. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Don't give up on someone you care about because of a minor disagreement or insignificant event. Everyone makes mis- takes, and forgiveness is a sign of maturity. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — The better you feel, the more you will accomplish. Clear your mind of self-doubt or insecu- rity by putting your best foot forward. You will be surprised by the reaction you get. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Don't be denied of simple pleasures. Reading a book, enjoying music, going to the spa or taking a shopping trip will help balance your personal and professional lives. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — If you are constantly at odds with friends or family members, take a closer look at how you treat others. If you are being unreasonable, the problem will continue. Strive to be tolerant. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — New acquaintances are ap- parent. Find out more about the people and events in your area. The more outgoing you are, the more you will learn, and your list of friends will grow accordingly. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — You know what you want to accomplish. If you don't have the credentials, go out and get them. Stop dreaming and take whatever steps are necessary to achieve your goals. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — It may be difficult, but you need to let others have their say. Whether you agree with others' opinions is irrelevant. Everyone deserves a chance to have their voices heard. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — Legal documents or contracts should be closely scrutinized. Failure to do so will result in a costly mistake. If you are un- clear, seek professional advice before you make a commitment. Horoscope By Eugenia Last THURSDAY, OCT. 8 | YOURDAILYBREAK | REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8, 2015 4 B