Up & Coming Weekly

JANUARY 6-12, 2010 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS House Swarming Six months ago, after my boyfriend and I had been together a year, we started living together. We're in our late 20s. Shortly after I moved in, he asked if another couple, his friends, could move in with us so they'd save some money. I said yes — on the understanding that they'd be out by early 2010. My boyfriend soon started hanging with them constantly and ignoring our relationship. I pointed out that we needed our alone-time together. He made excuses, but showed that he had no intention of making time for us. I hid my unhappiness, but finally had to sit him down and tell him what needed to change. Several days later, he said he wanted to take a break, and I should move out — although the problem couple can afford to leave but are using him for cheap rent. He offered to help me move, and into a safe place. I told him I think our situation is fixable with a little effort and understanding. — Hurt When you've just moved in with your boyfriend, you should be doing unspeakable things all over the couch, not trying to get on the waiting list for a comfortable seat for Bananagrams. Never mind that your boyfriend's slacker friends needed a cheap crash pad. Moving in with your girlfriend and immediately moving in your friends is like booking the honeymoon suite and asking, "Oh, yeah, can we get a cot for my mom?" Of course, this ended up working out perfectly for him and his friends. They're using him for cheap rent; he's using them for a cheap breakup. It's the passive-aggressive breakup, where you don't bother telling somebody their girlfriend or boyfriend services are no longer wanted; you just make them so miserable they stop dreaming of you and start dreaming of U-Haul. Your boyfriend may have "yeah, okay, cool" on moving in together, but panicked when two toilet brushes became as one. Maybe one small step for man started looking like one giant step toward married-kind: your being the last woman he'll ever have sex with and trading in his sport package wheels for a minivan. Maybe he's "just not that into you," or maybe all he's good for is picking you up at 7 a few nights a week. Okay, fine, this is stuff a couple have to work through — or discover they can't. But, thanks to what may have started as a misguided act of charity, he's always had an out: "Why try to resolve the conflict when I can take advantage of these conveniently located human shields?" Oh, has he offered to help you move? How sweet. You'll be out of his life in half the time! And do go. It's possible he'll miss you and want you back. But, do you really want him? He's been hostile, unloving and unkind. His "taking a break" is probably another easy way out: "Here, have some false hope!" (Anything to keep from mopping your tears off the linoleum.) Your big concern should be how you treated you. Like many 20-something women, you were probably too accommodating, from letting these people move in to hiding your unhappiness. The answer isn't being difficult, but standing firm on what does and doesn't work for you: Yes, to entering into a more committed relationship, no to managing a very small Holiday Inn. Maybe, to living in a house that's haunted, but with more traditional "free spirits" — the kind that fly around in bedsheets saying "Wooo!" and when they do make stuff disappear, it isn't always all your beer.!" Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPE THIS WEEK in the STARS www.Astrology-101.com ARIES - March 21 thru April 20 Moon's new phase provides new opportunities for gain. Ambitions well directed in Career or Community projects should be met with much approval. TAURUS - April 21 thru May 21 Special abilities can lead to gainful contacts with people in far away places. Travel for business interests can bring ad- ditional dollars GEMINI - May 22 thru June 21. New Moon moves thru your Joint Income sector. A benefi cial outcome can be expected if you join forces with another in a mutual project for the New Year ahead. CANCER - June 22 thru July 23 Relationships may be your focus. Chal- lenges of the past may soon be favorably resolved as this week's New Moon moves thru your sector of "Meaningful Others". LEO - July 24 thru August 23 Job opportunities should improve as the New Moon moves thru your Work sector. Look ahead to new offerings. Seniors offer worthwhile advice. VIRGO - August 24 thru Sept 23 Next 4 weeks. The accent will be on creative expression, romantic interests for eligibles, sensible speculation and the pursuit of pleasure. Enjoy! LIBRA - Sept 24 thru Oct 23 Focus of New Moon will be on your Home sector. It's a time to bring domestic concerns to happy endings, Favorable time for real estate matters. SCORPIO - Oct 24 thru Nov 22 New Moon and adaptable Mercury both place emphasis on local opportunities. If at fi rst you didn't succeed it's time to try again. New Year opens new doors. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23 thru Dec 21 Favorable cosmic aspects in your Money sector should bring support in fi nancial opportunities. Promote what you do best for reward and recognition. CAPRICORN - Dec 22 thru Jan 20 . Your sign plays host to this week's New Moon. A new cycle is beginning which should bring changes for the better. It's a time to expand your horizons. AQUARIUS - Jan 21 thru Feb 19 Time to relax, to listen to your intuition. Our subconscious holds the answers to our questions. Try to understand the meaning of your dreams. PISCES - Feb 20 thru March 20 New Moon and Mercury both work together in your behalf in your sector of Hope. What you are wishing for in the New Year can come to pass. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD A 55-year-old British man whose bowel was ruptured in a nearly catastrophic traffi c accident has been fi tted with a bionic sphincter that opens and closes with a remote controller. Ged Galvin had originally endured 13 surgeries in a 13-week hospital stay and had grown frustrated with using a colostomy bag until surgeon Norman Williams of the Royal London Hospital proposed the imaginative operation. Dr. Williams, who was interviewed along with Galvin for a November feature in London's Daily Mail, wrapped a muscle transplanted from Galvin's leg around the sphincter and attached electrodes to tighten or loosen the muscle's grip. [Daily Mail, 11-10-09, 11-13-09] Britain's Safety Weenies In November, the Solihull Council in Britain's West Midlands county ordered a fl ooring store to remove the festive balloons it had pinned out front to attract business, calling them hazards. One councilor explained that drivers may be distracted by the colors, and another was concerned that if a balloon came loose, it might possibly fl oat into traffi c and lure a child to follow it. [Daily Telegraph, 11- 24-09] In October, Britain's Association of Chief Police Offi cers prepared a guidebook of instructions for bicycle- duty offi cers on how to ride a bike. The book was 93 pages long, containing such assistance as a diagram on how to turn left or right ("deployment into a junction"). (Following widespread ridicule, the association decided in November not to release it.) [Agence France-Presse, 11-12-09] Examiners from Britain's Health and Safety Executive, inspecting bowling alleys for hazards, considered recommendations (according to a November Daily Mail report) that included erecting barriers over the lanes to prevent bowlers from wandering the alleys and perhaps getting caught in pin- setting machines or, feared one inspector, bowlers injuring themselves trying to knock over pins by hand. The barriers would leave space for the ball to roll under. [Daily Mail, 11-30-09] The Wisconsin Department of Corrections decided in October that it (i.e., taxpayers) should fund complex facial reconstruction surgery for inmate Daryl Strenke, who is serving 30 years after pleading guilty to murdering his girlfriend. Strenke had shot himself in the face in apparent remorse for the killing, severely disfi guring his mouth and jaw and making it nearly impossible for him to eat or speak normally. 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