Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/572137
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman PHOEBEANDHERUNICORN DanaSimpson ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Iama woman in my 40s who was married twice. Both marriages were abusive. I have done a lot of work in overcoming these relationships, which in- cluded not dating for five years. Then I met HIM. It was mostly a sexual relation- ship and he awakened me in many other ways I had never experienced. It was clear from the begin- ning that he didn't want a commitment, but over time he would act as if we had a commitment. Then I learned of his other life. This includes an ex-wife and a child he lives with. He told me he is legally married to an- other woman to help her acquire citizenship. He spends time with other lovers. I was devastated. I had decided to say goodbye. After some time he claimed to miss me. I went back twice and essentially asked him to make a choice. He didn't choose me, but we carried on our affair. I then learned he gave me herpes despite practicing (mostly) safe sex. He has decided that we cannot talk anymore. Should I confront him again? I am extremely lonely, and finding another man has been challenging consid- ering all my baggage. I have tried other men, but I either find them quite boring or find myself comparing them to the past. —LonelyinNewYork DEAR LONELY » You say you have done a lot of work to overcome abusive relationships, but evi- dently you have not done enough work to overcome your own terrible choices. Every single thing you recount about this man tells me that, despite his bad character, he has been relatively upfront with you. He consistently refuses to have the kind of relationship you want. If you want to affect the outcome in future re- lationships, you not only will need to "get over" past relationships, but will need to change your own behavior. There are scores of wonderful and sweet men out there, but as long as you find kindness and respect "boring," you will continue to choose men who disrespect you. When it comes to finding the r i g ht p ar tn e r, m y ad vi c e is to choose wisely, and act kindly. You might ben- efit from reading "What Smart Women Know," by Steven Carter and Julia Sokol (2000, M. Evans & Company). The authors offer witty (and wise) commentary and advice, which might inspire you to behave differently. DEAR AMY » "Guilty Daughter" had a very silly problem. Her mother gave her a heart-shaped paperweight for her first anniversary and she didn't like it. Did it occur to her that perhaps her mother was so adamant about this gift because paper is the traditional gift for a first anniversary? — Traditionalist DEAR TRADITIONALIST » It d idn' t oc cur to me either. But I think you're right about the mother's motivation. Survivor of abuse struggles to change her dating pattern You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribpub.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Virgo(Aug.23-Sept.22)— There is a limit to what you can do on your own. Listen to some- one with experience. An older friend or relative will be key to resolving your problems. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Travel or communication delays will be unnerving. Don't let minor issues distract you from your goal. Don't pass up a chance to take a trip. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Emotional issues will surface, but you mustn't let them inter- fere with your productivity. Seek the help of a trusted friend. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — You may feel stuck or stagnant. Spending time and effort on your appearance or wardrobe will lift your spirits and boost your confidence. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Spread your good will around. A charitable or benevolent agency will benefit greatly if you offer your services. Your natural compassion and honesty will be instrumental in helping those in need. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — It's possible that in the heat of the moment you have hurt the feelings of a loved one. It would be best to make amends before the distance between you grows. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — You have to pace yourself. Rely on your instincts to tell you which way to turn. Don't be surprised if an old friend wants to reconnect. Aries (March 21-April 19) — It will be hard to focus on one task. Limit distractions and keep plugging away until the job is done. Once finished, you'll feel satisfied and should treat yourself to a reward. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Use your skill and training to the utmost. Find an innovative way to diversify to better suit the changing economic climate. A successful partnership is apparent. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Play by the rules, and don't toy with someone's feelings. What you see as harmless flirtation will be misinterpreted and could damage your reputation. Cancer (June 21-July 22) — Change is inevitable. You can fight what's coming or you can embrace it wholeheartedly. Choose to make your life simpler and let matters unfold naturally in order to excel. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — You will feel vulnerable and have a tendency to overreact. Don't start off on the wrong foot by making assumptions that aren't based on facts. Observing and asking pertinent questions will pay off. Horoscope By Eugenia Last THURSDAY, SEPT. 17 THURSDAY,SEPTEMBER17,2015 REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM |YOURDAILYBREAK | 3 B