Up & Coming Weekly

DEC. 30, 2009 - JAN. 5, 2010 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Knit Booty Call I left my husband for a co-worker I was having an affair with, and accidentally got pregnant. He wasn't thrilled, but manned up and married me. Sex soon dried up. We haven't had it for two years! He never hugs me, never says he loves me. I kissed him and he recoiled, saying I was "in his space." I asked why he married me. He said, "I never wanted to or to be a father, but now I have to deal with both." I know he isn't cheating (I always know where he is). I told him he was setting me up for an affair. He said, "Do what you need to do." I started sleeping with my ex-husband — until his wife found out. My girlfriends say I should leave, that children are resilient, but I'm almost 40, and my five year old son adores his father. We don't fight, but we don't talk, either, and he won't do anything with me unless our son's involved. I'm trying not to get jealous over their relationship. — Not Miserable, Not Happy This little boy isn't in your lives because you walked out on the porch one day as a stork in a UPS outfit was dropping him off in a basket: "Gotta sign for this kid, lady. And I think he needs his diaper changed. And soccer camp, a pricey math tutor, and a college education." Since you aren't 11 and sneaking cigarettes behind the elementary school dumpster when you should be in sex ed, you know very well what happens when Mr. Sperm and Miss Egg have a meet 'n greet. If you really, really want to prevent it, you get an IUD and bring in ye olde latex windsock for backup. But, I'm guessing you gambled that having a kid would move your relationship to the next level. And lookie here, it did: into bitterness, envy and resentment. Your husband's paying bigtime for his own cavalier approach to birth control: the unspoken understanding that he was up for a few hot minutes in the office supply closet, not 21 years in a suburban tract home in a pretty good school system. Terribly sorry you aren't getting any, and that it's awful chilly in there, but it isn't like you bought a new purse that didn't quite have the pockets you need. Your right to be all about you ended the day another human being came out of your body. Those so-called "resilient" children o f parents who've split up have the worst outcomes across the board — in everything from school performance to emotional stability to their own relationships as adults. Unless your home life is so ugly that your kid would be better off if you divorced, you and Frosty need to "do what you need to do" to make this work the best you can. Although he was as big a boob as you were about birth control, your best chance of thawing him a little is expressing remorse for sucking him into this situation. Give him props for what a great dad he's been, and ask him to team up with you to do right by your kid. This isn't about getting him from "you're in my space" to "you're the light of my life," but getting him to a couples therapist so you can figure out how to be a couple of loving (or at least friendly) roommates raising a kid together. This kid, like all kids, deserves a fairytale childhood: parents who make him believe he was born because Mommy and Daddy loved each other sooo much... not because they were all "Gee whiz, we had no idea that could happen from a toilet seat!" Amy Alkon WEEKLY HOROSCOPE THIS WEEK in the STARS www.Astrology-101.com ARIES - March 21 thru April 20 Hobbies, creative arts, writing or musical talents should be pursued. Good public relations may circulate to bolster your image in the New Year. TAURUS - April 21 thru May 21 Explore new areas in far away places for personal or business interests. Your ideas and abilities can put something of value in your treasure chest. GEMINI - May 22 thru June 21. Good aspects to Mercury, your ruling planet may bring a nice career surprise in the weeks ahead for those ready to move another step of the ladder of success. CANCER - June 22 thru July 23 With favorable aspects in your money sector more can be accomplished with action than by talk. Get in touch with those who can contribute to your success. LEO - July 24 thru August 23 Changing conditions may improve job activities. Persevere in efforts to fi nd new directions. Times change and those who change with it will benefi t VIRGO - August 24 thru Sept 23 A New Year! The right time to put plans into action and set yourself the kind of goals that will improve your life style. Count on "the force", it's with you. LIBRA - Sept 24 thru Oct 23 Domestic career opportunities are favored. 2010 could be the right time to launch a home based enterprise. Think positive. You have the ability. SCORPIO - Oct 24 thru Nov 22 Favorable news should be en route. Nearby people can open new doors of opportunity. Dig deeper. An acre of diamonds could be under your feet. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23 thru Dec 21 Use new money making ideas to liberate yourself from current fi nancial limitations. Entrepreneur publications are full of success stories. You've got the ability. CAPRICORN - Dec 22 thru Jan 20 . Believe in your abilities and good things will happen. Goats with creative ability may be given a chance to show their talents to the right people. AQUARIUS - Jan 21 thru Feb 19 Being around optimistic people helps to start the New Year on a positive note. Don't give up on wishes. Stars in 2010 indicate benefi cial overtones. PISCES - Feb 20 thru March 2F0 Wishes can be furthered under excellent planetary aspects. Join groups sharing your interests. What you conceive and truly believe, you can achieve. NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Spare the Rod: In September, engaging in a 300-year tradition of the Dussera holiday in India's Tamil Nadu state, Hindu priests ritually whipped 2,000 young women and girls over a fi ve-hour period as penance for a range of sins, from insuffi cient studying to moral impurity. Said one sobbing yet inspired lash recipient, to an NDTV reporter, "(W)hen we are whipped, we will get rid of our mental and physical ailments and evil spirits." [New Delhi Television, 9-30-09] And in November, Pope John Paul II was revealed to have periodically atoned for sins by privately whipping himself, according to a nun who worked with him and who was cited in the Vatican's ongoing consideration of John Paul II for sainthood. The nun said she heard him distinctly several times from an adjacent room. [Daily Telegraph (London), 11-23-09] Compelling Explanations From a police report in the North Bay Nugget (Nov. 7): An offi cer in line at a traffi c light, realizing that cars had not moved through two light changes, walked up to the lead car to investigate. The driver said she was not able to move on the green lights because she was still on the phone and thus driving off would be illegal. The offi cer said a brief lecture improved the woman's understanding of the law. [North Bay Nugget, 11-7-09] The inspector general of the National Science Foundation revealed that on-the-job viewing of pornography Web sites was so widespread at the agency that the resultant ethics investigations hindered his primary mission of investigating fraud on grant contracts. The agency report, obtained by the Washington Times in September, said the heaviest user was a senior executive who logged on to pornography at least 331 days in 2008. He subsequently retired, but before leaving defended his habit, claiming that his Web site visits actually helped impoverished women in Third World countries to earn a decent living (by posing for pornography). [Washington Times, 9-29-09] Fine Lawyering: Jacob Christine, 21, acting as his own lawyer at an October hearing, denying charges that he severely slashed a fellow inmate at an Easton, Pa., prison, offered his own view of whoever the perpetrator was: "Whoever attacked (the victim) had a high regard for life," said Christine, because the cut "isn't deep at all. It's on his neck. It's not on his face." [Morning Call (Allentown), 10-16-09] Have a Great from your friends at Listen and pledge online any time at www.wfss.org

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