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Tuesday, February 21, 2012 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Keep communication open with son who may be doing drugs DEAR DOCTOR K: My teenage son seems different lately. He's lost interest in team sports, is more secretive and is hanging with a new crowd. I'm worried he may be abusing drugs or alcohol. I keep trying, but he won't really talk to me about it. What can I do? DEAR READER: Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. Few things are more impor- tant to teenagers than being part of a group of their peers. It appears to be hard-wired in us: Teenagers in many dif- ferent cultures tend to band together, and to suffer if they are not part of a group. When the group does drugs, they can be hard to resist. When I was a teenager, abuse of illicit drugs wasn't widespread. But alcohol abuse was. There was a group I wanted to be a part of that was having a party. I went to the party and did what they did. I knew what would happen, yet I did it anyway. I still remember that night, and the next morning, like it was yesterday. When- ever I'm in a liquor store and see that particular brand of scotch whiskey, my stomach turns, even though I'm sure it's perfectly good scotch. Teens are surrounded by images of alcohol and other drugs. They see them in movies and on TV. They hear about drugs and alcohol in song lyrics. Alcohol ads show drinkers as popular, beautiful or rich — often all three. It's common for teenagers to try alcohol or drugs. Why? Some teenagers use alcohol or drugs to feel good. Some do it to relax or to fit in with their peers. Some do it to make themselves feel older or more sophisticated. Some are just plain curious, and since they are teenagers, consider themselves immor- tal. They ask themselves what I asked myself that night: "How harmful can it be?" You may feel that the last thing your son wants is your advice. The same "wiring" that makes teens vulnerable to peer pressure seems to make them resist parental advice. Still, talk to him — just don't come down too heavy. Make an argument, not a judgment. It may not seem like he's listening to you, but he probably hears everything you're saying. And more important, he knows that you care. Make sure your son understands that drinking or taking drugs can affect his plans for the future. It could ruin his chances of getting into college or getting a job after graduation. It can lead to addiction and possibly even death. I would suggest asking your son directly if he is involved in any way with drugs or alcohol. If your teen tells you he is not drinking alcohol or doing drugs, but you still are concerned, talk with his pediatrician or guid- ance counselor at school for advice. It's also important to set a good example — that's how kids learn. We have more informa- tion on dealing with sub- stance abuse in our Special Health Report, "Alcohol Use and Abuse." You can find out more about it at my web- site. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. How to become bankable Small Business Development Center at Butte College is presenting a workshop, "How To Become Bankable." The workshop, for Existing Business Owners only, will be held on Thursday, March 8 from 9 to 11 a.m. at the Small Business Development Center at Butte College, 332 Pine Street in Red Bluff. The cost for the workshop is $25 per person prepaid or $35 at the door. Credit and loan underwriting requirements are the foundation for any financing structure. Yet, many busi- nesses are unfamiliar with the expectations and approval process for loans and other types of financing. The pre- senter, a banker with vast expertise in the banking indus- try, will discuss the building blocks of a successful busi- ness strategy and the steps required to make financing a reality. Topics will include SBA Loan Programs require- ments and application, traditional bank loans, line of credit, strategies for obtaining funding in a tight econo- my, and other funding options including first-hand knowledge of what an existing business owner need to qualify. Pre-registration is required. Please call the Small Business Development Center at Butte College at 895- 9017 to register and for information. Photographs present problem Dear Annie: My wife and I have been married for 30 years. She has a son from her first marriage who lives in another state. We haven't been to ''Keith's'' house in four years because my wife has some health prob- lems that keep her from traveling. Her relationship with Keith has always been turbulent. Keith and his wife are in the process of adopting a child from another coun- try. They put together a booklet of family photos to present to the family that is currently raising the baby. When they showed us the booklet, we noticed that her daughter-in-law's fam- ily is well represented, and so is my wife's ex, but she and I are not in it at all. (We also are not in any of the pic- tures displayed around their home.) My wife is trying not to let this by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar upset her, but I think they should know how much this hurt her. I don't want to jeopardize an already fragile relation- ship. What should I do? — Left Out Dear Left Out: The purposeful exclusion of your photos from both the booklet and the family home indicates that Keith is well aware of what he is doing. Decide what you hope to LOS ANGELES (AP) coma. Annie's Mailbox accomplish by talking to him. Would he be sorry for the hurt feelings? Would your daughter-in-law support your position? Please let your wife handle this. Be supportive of her, let her know how much you love and value her, and suggest she get some counseling to help her focus on better ways to deal with Keith. Dear Annie: My friend and I like the same guy. She's having a party, and ''Mike'' is on the guest list. The party is a formal dance, and Mike has been dropping hints that he'd like me to be his date to the party. As much as I would love to go with him, I don't know if I should. I don't want to ruin a friendship. But I also don't want him to think I'm not inter- ested. I really like this guy. What should I do? — Confused Crush Dear Confused: This is one of those situations in which, no matter what you do, someone will be unhap- py. The fact that your friend has a crush on the same guy doesn't mean he is interested in her, and your social life should not revolve around her pref- erences. If the situation were reversed, would she bow out for your sake? Would you want her to? You could tell Mike you're going to the party any- way, and an official ''date'' is unneces- sary. But it's best to be honest and not date Mike behind your friend's back. Dear Annie: I read the letter from ''California,'' who was upset because her husband destroys her cookware. My husband and I have been mar- ried almost 50 years. He spent 22 years in the military as a chaplain. He promised that when he retired, he would do the cooking. (His experience consisted of using his Army field hat to cook C-rations.) He now cooks, vacuums and some- times does the laundry. And yes, he has broken dishes, and on occasion, the food he makes is not palatable. Sometimes he ruins the laundry. But I praise God that I have a husband who is so loving and caring and willing to do these things. Together we laugh it off, and I say, ''I needed some pink panties'' or ''We could use some new dishes.'' He's 73 with kidney disease, and I might not have him much longer. So, ''California,'' be thankful your husband wants to cook for you. He does it because he loves you. Dishes and pans are easily replaced, but a good husband is a jewel to be kept. — Wouldn't Trade Mine in Pennsylvania Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. 'Midnight in Paris,' 'Descendants' win WGA honors — Comedy series: — Woody Allen's romantic fantasy ''Mid- night in Paris'' and Alexander Payne's fami- ly drama ''The Descen- dants'' have won top screenplay honors from the Writers Guild of America. With his biggest hit in decades, writer-director Allen earned the guild's prize Sunday for original screenplay on ''Midnight in Paris.'' The film stars Owen Wilson as a mod- ern Hollywood writer who gets a chance to hang with his literary idols in the 1920s Paris of Hemingway and Fitzgerald. Director Payne shared the adapted screenplay honor with co-writers Nat Faxon and Jim Rash. Based on the novel by Kaui Hart Hemmings, ''The Descendants'' stars George Clooney as a Hawaiian dad struggling to tend to his two daugh- ters after a boating acci- dent puts his wife in a Crafter's Boutique The wins boost the prospects for both films to earn the same prizes at next Sunday's Academy Awards, where both movies also are in the running for best picture. But not all key Acade- my Awards contenders were eligible for the Writers Guild honors, including Oscar best-pic- ture front-runner ''The Artist.'' The black-and- white silent film is com- peting against ''Midnight in Paris'' for original screenplay, but ''The Artist'' was ineligible at the Writers Guild awards because it was not made under the union's con- tract guidelines. The guild's prize for big-screen documentary writing went to Katie Galloway and Kelly Duane de la Vega for ''Better This World.'' Among the guild's TV winners: — Drama series: ''Breaking Bad,'' Sam Catlin, Vince Gilligan, Peter Gould, Gennifer Hutchison, George Mas- tras, Thomas Schnauz and Moira Walley-Beck- ett. ''Modern Family,'' Cindy Chupack, Paul Corrigan, Abraham Hig- ginbotham, Ben Karlin, Elaine Ko, Carol Leifer, Steven Levitan, Christo- pher Lloyd, Dan O'Shan- non, Jeffrey Richman, Brad Walsh, Ilana Wer- nick, Bill Wrubel and Danny Zuker. — New series: Henry ''Homeland,'' Bromell, Alexander Cary, Alex Gansa, Howard Gordon, Chip Johannessen, Gideon Raff and Meredith Stiehm. Hand Tooled Leather Trucker's Wallet 650 Main St., Red Bluff 530 528-2723Tues.-Fri. 10-4 • Sat. 11-3 Closed Sun. & Mon. HOUSE OF FLOYD An Evening Of Pink Floyd www.HouseOfFloyd.com Saturday - February 25th, 2012 - 7:30pm with "Mojo Child" (Doors tribute) State Theatre, 333 Oak Street, Red Bluff, CA $20/advance $23/door Advance ticket locations Wink Fashion & Salon and The Copy Center in Red Bluff This advertisement co-sponsored by the Daily News