Up & Coming Weekly

6 UCW DECEMBER 23-29, 2009 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM PITT DICKEY, Contributing Writer COMMENTS? 484-6200 ext. 222 or email editor@upandcomingweekly.com. Maybe Fox News has been right all along. America has been going to the dogs ever since President Obama was elected. I never thought I would agree with Glen Beck on anything but like a broken clock, he's right twice a day. America has gone to the dogs, but at least they are little bitty dogs. Lou Dobb's fear of America being over run by illegal aliens has come true. I speak of the herds of abandoned Chihuahuas who have been turning up in San Francisco Bay area animal shelters. The San Francisco Animal Care and Control office recently reported that there has been an algae bloom of the tiny Mexican dogs at animal shelters in the Bay Area. Apparently one third of the dogs hoping for adoption in Bay Area shelters are now Chihuahuas. Chihuahuas have surpassed Pit Bulls as the dog of choice to abandon. There have been several explanations for the sudden explosion of abandoned Mexican rat dogs. For a period there was a boom in media appearances of Chihuahuas that led to a boom in Chihuahua adoptions which unfortunately led to a boom in Chihuahua abandonments. Paris Hilton's frequent appearances toting a Chihuahua in a hand bag is blamed for causing some weak minded individuals to adopt Chihuahuas so they could be like Paris. A notable South Park episode about Paris Hilton featured her Chihuahua committing suicide with a pistol because he couldn't stand listening to her constant blathering and being dressed like a doll to accessorize her outfit. The late and unlamented movie, Beverly Hills Chihuahua may have also encouraged people to obtain rat dogs of their very own. This movie starred a number of talking Chihuahuas having adventures and making observations in Valley Girl speak. The world's most famous Chihuahua was Gidget, may she rest in peace, the great commercial spokesman for a Mexican fast food chain. All this Chihuahua media attention never touched upon the reality that Chihuahuas can be pretty tough to live with. They are grumpy, loud and do not like strangers, sort of like Fox TV commentators. The reality of life with an actual Chihuahua is much different from the idealized glow of partying with a talking Chihuahua. I know this from personal experience. I have always been a dog person. I have had dogs most of my life. I love and respect dogs and they mostly tend to like me. I do not come at Chihuahuas as a dog hater, quite the contrary. However as a very young lad my first experience with the Chihuahua lifestyle came at the home of my grandfather, the illustrious C.W.E. Pittman. He had two Chihuahuas, a tan one whose name I cannot recall and a black one named Bat. Bat looked like a bug eyed bat and had the disposition of an angry wasp. Both dogs hated me. They were small but they were loud and obnoxious. More than once I felt the sting of Chihuahua incisors when I tried to pet one of them. Neither one was much interested in remaining housebroken. The tan nameless one would leave little organic bombs in the upstairs room where I slept when we went to visit the grandparents. I can still recall the trauma of getting up in the night and stepping barefoot in a pile of Chihuahua flotsam. The horror. The horror. I don't think the dogs left presents in the house except when I was there in order to tell me I was in their territory. If Chihuahuas can go from a flood of popularity to incarceration in detention centers when their novelty wears off, what does that tell us about the fate of the herd of Tiger Woods' girl friends? Sure, the Tigerettes are popular now. They are on the cover of tabloids, celeb magazines and every TV show, but what happens after the roar of the greasepaint and the smell of money fades? Will the Tigerettes end up in Bay Area animal shelters? Will they be deported en masse to Dubai to sweep sandtraps? Will they have to go to bed without a day spent idolized by the media? You can save a Tigerette from obscurity. For only $250 a day you can adopt one of Tiger's girlfriends and keep her in the media eye. The Save The Tigerette's Foundation will purchase air time on local TV and radio stations to broadcast an hourly show featuring the wit and wisdom of Tiger's girlfriends. They will be continually cross examined by Nancy Grace who will attempt to prove they stole the spouse of a Swedish woman. So please, won't you contribute to save the Tigerettes? The Bimbo you save, may be your own. Save the Chihuahuas! by PITT DICKEY G r ea t P l ace Pri m e Sp a c e G r ea t P l ace Pri m e Sp a c e Seminars and Symposiums Business and Group Meetings Private Parties Reunions and Receptions Hail and Farewells Holiday Galas ~ÛGmj\m]Û;jan]ÛÛÝÛÛ~ÛgjÛ~~ ~ÛGmj\m]Û;jan]ÛÛÝÛÛ~ÛgjÛ~~ ea t P l ace e e e a a t t P Pl l a a c c e e e e P l P Pl l Azales Event Facility Enter for Your Chance to WIN passes to Enter for Your Chance to WIN passes to 2950 Lindsay Rd. 910-237-5898 Name: _________________________ Phone Number: __________________ Email: _________________________ www.rockfishmotorsports.com Please send completed entry form to Up & Coming Weekly, 208 Rowan St., Fayetteville, NC 28301 or fax to 910-484-9218

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