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I'vebeendoinga lot of live radio in- terviews lately. Peo- ple are getting very interested in how I help business own- ers and individuals through the worst times of their lives. The hosts of the shows want to know what is the most important thing I tell my clients who are facing a crisis. The most important thing I teach anyone go- ing through a rough patch or a cataclysmic situation is to know and accept the cycle of grief and loss. Knowing where you are in the cycle is like having a road map for an unsavory trip. The grief and loss cy- cle is not relegated to sur- viving a death. Anytime we lose something sig- nificant, we face a sense of loss and must cycle through before we are ready to move forward. Lost a job? You're going to go through grief and loss. Getting a divorce? Same thing. Lost a sig- nificant friendship? Grief and loss. There are five stages in the cycle- Disbelief, bar- gaining, anger, depres- sion and acceptance. While you may bounce back and forth between them and you may stay stuck in one area for a time, overall, you will move through the cycle. Disbelief is the denial that whatever happened, did, in fact, happen. It's that surreal feeling of be- ing in a nightmare from which you can't wake up. Bargaining is a cop- ing mechanism in which we believe we can nego- tiate our way out of what is happening and with enough effort, we can stop the clock or turn back time. Anger, seems obvious and it is very important. Anger is also a form of trying to control the out- come and assert our will over the situa- tion. Anger is vi- tal as it allows us to get the crap thinking out on the table. Many people suppress the anger and this is as danger- ous as acting out in anger. Depression is where most people think grief and loss begins, it is nearly the end of the road. Depression is also where many people get stuck. Depression is the phase where all the bar- gaining, pleading and an- ger have come up useless in our fight. That leads to accep- tance. Acceptance is achieved when we realize that things are what they are and we find the in- terest in moving forward with life despite where things are. When I work with people, I help them find themselves in the cycle. The recognition goes a long way towards heal- ing. Knowing where you are is empowering. How long it takes to cycle through is up to the in- dividual. In some cases, such as death of a loved one, people may cy- cle over and again for a year or so as they move through each milestone without their loved one. The grief and loss cycle is a helpful tool if you are managing a crisis. Find yourself on the cycle and know that your struggle will come to a place of ac- ceptance. FaydraRector,MA is a mental health administrator, author, public speaker, educator and life coach who lives in Lincoln. She can be reached at lifecoach@shasta.com or view her blogs at faydraandcompany. blogspot.com/ and allaboutdivorce.blogspot. com/. FAYDRARECTOR Know,acceptcycle of grief and loss Faydra Rector COURTESYPHOTO TheRedBluffElksLodgeprovidedmorethan100pairsofpajamasforchildrenagesnewbornthroughteenagers, and more than 18 backpacks to the Children First Foster Family Agency of Red Bluff June 27. This was made pos- sible from a $2,000 Beacon Grant from The Elks National Foundation. Pictured, from le , are Serena Miramontes from Children First Foster Family Agency in Red Bluff with two of her three sons, Eric and Matthew, and the Exalted Ruler of Red Bluff Lodge #1250 Sharon Stone. DONATION FOSTERKIDSGETPAJAMAS, BACKPACKS FROM ELKS The following informa- tion is compiled from Red Bluff Police Department, Red Bluff Fire, Tehama County Sheriff's Depart- ment, Corning Police De- partment, Corning Fire, Cal Fire and California High- way Patrol logs. Fire 400blockofMainStreet: A small fire started in an apartment Saturday due to a wire cover of exhaust fan. No one was in the residence at the time of the fire, which was contained quickly. State Route 36East: A pickup truck pulling a travel trailer caught on fire and was reported Sunday at 12:05p.m. The fire was contained at 12:27p.m. The Aloha Street: A woman came home Friday and found her residence had been burglarized. 8500block of Sherwood Boulevard: A Diamondback bike was stolen from a car port Saturday. Estimated loss was $800. No suspects or leads were reported. Dutch Bros. on Main Street: A woman reportedly stole money out of the tip jar on Sunday. She was then seen going to the Shell sta- tion to get cigarettes. Crittenden Street: A person reported seeing a woman and man breaking into a white sedan on Sun- day. The two subjects were last seen running toward Lincoln. Arrest William Foster: 44, of Redding was arrested in Cottonwood Friday on felony charges of attempted rob- bery and attempted willful, deliberate and premeditated murder. His bail was set at $550,000. John Farmer: 37, of Corn- ing was arrested Friday for one count of vandalism over $400. Bail was set at $15,000. Jesse Graven: 21, of Red Bluff was arrested and booked Friday for one felony charge of injury to a spouse. Bail was set at $50,000. Robert Mitchell: 41, of Vancover, Washington was arrested and booked into jail on Sunday for a felony burglary charge. No bail was set. Louis Buelana: 67, of Red Bluff was arrested and booked into jail Sunday for an assault with a deadly weapon charge. Bail was set at $30,000. POLICE LOGS Erin McCarthy, owner of Cook, will be on the patio behind the Green Room Art Studio at 6:30 p.m. Wednesday dem- onstrating how to make a tasty treat from fresh farmers market produce. This is a free event held next door to Red Bluff's State Theatre. Immediately follow- ing the food demonstra- tion, the film "Julie & Ju- lia" will be shown in the State Theatre. Admission to the film will be $5. This is Julia Child's story of her start in the cooking profession inter- twined with blogger Julie Powell's 2002 challenge to cook all the recipes in Child's first book. Tickets will be avail- able at the door. Doors open for the film at 6:45 p.m. and the bar will be open. CUISINE What to make with farmers market finds Movie to follow cooking demonstration Work on the grading of the state highway route from Red Bluff to the Shasta county line will be started within a few days by the contractor, James Fitzpatrick, who has al- ready received several car- loads of machinery, wagons, etc. and some livestock. A camp will be established at Blue Tent creek, four miles north of Red Bluff and grad- ing will be started each di- rection from that point. — July 28, 1915 100 YEARS AGO... Construction begins on state highway to Cottonwood PLEASE RECYCLE THIS NEWSPAPER. Thankyou! COTTONWOOD A dinner, dance and auction fund- raiser to benefit the Cot- tonwood Community Park will be held at 6 p.m., Sat- urday, Aug. 15 at the LBL Ranch, at 17410 Bowman Road in Cottonwood. Tickets are $40 per per- son or $280 for a table of eight. The evening will begin at 6 p.m. with a no host bar, hors d'oeuvres and silent auction. At 7 p.m. dinner, dessert and auc- tion will take place fol- lowed by dancing at 8 p.m. Music will be provided by The Billies. To make reservations or for more information, call 347-1230. BENEFIT Di nn er , da nc e se t to b en efi t Co tt on wo od C om mu ni ty P ar k RUNNINGS ROOFING and CONSTRUCTION SheetMetalRoofing ResidentialCommercial • Composition • Shingle • Single Ply Membrane ServingTehamaCounty 530-527-5789 530-209-5367 NoMoney Down! "NoJobTooSteep" " No Job Too Flat" FREE ESTIMATES CA.Lic#829089B&C39 STOVEJUNCTION The TheNorthState'spremiersupplierofstoves 22825 Antelope Blvd., Red Bluff 530-528-2221 • Fax 530-528-2229 www.thestovejunction.com Over 25 years of experience Tues-Sat9am-5pm• ClosedSun&Mon Now Carrying! GreenMountainGrills & Accessories Serving Butte, Glenn & Tehama Counties Smog Check (MOST CARS & PICK-UPS) 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St. starting at $ 29 95 + $ 8 25 certificate All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened 30K 60K 90K Service At Lower Prices. Round Up Saloon Round Up Saloon 610WashingtonSt. (530) 527-9901 SupportingFarmersMarket with live music from LishaandFriends Datessheisplaying July 1st, 15th & 29th August 12th & 26th September 9th Areyoumelting? Professional Evaporative Cooler Service & Repair 221 3331 Chimneys • Air Ducts Swamp Coolers • Dryer Vents Residential & Commercial WhiteGloveChimney.com ChocolateIsn'tHappy InTheDesert Servicingyourdisposalneedsin Tehama County, and the City of Red Bluff including Residential, Commercial, and Temporary bin services. GREEN WASTE OF TEHAMA A WASTE CONNECTIONS COMPANY 530-528-8500 1805 AIRPORT BLVD. RED BLUFF, CA GreenWasteisaproud supporter of local events. www.TehamaCountyRealEstate.com 530529-2700 314 Washington St, Red Bluff, CA www.RedBluffDailyNews.com Facebook:facebook.com/RBDailyNews Twitter: @RedBluffNews Customer service....................(530) 737-5048 Fax....................................................................................... 530-527-5774 Hours: 8a.m. to 5p.m. Monday through Friday Main Office...........................................527-2151 Toll free................................................................................ 800.479.6397 Write to us........................................P.O. Box 220, Red Bluff, CA 96080 Office..................................545Diamond Avenue, Red Bluff, CA 96080 All Access subscription rates, Tuesday through Saturday: $7.24per week. Digital-only subscription, Tuesday through Saturday $2.99per week. Business and professional rate, Tuesday through Friday: $2.19for four weeks. 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