Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/54597
Saturday, February 4, 2012 – Daily News 5A Glory Days & maturity LIVE OAK (MCT) — For Vietnam veteran Pete Logan, practicing the art of bonsai has been therapeutic, helping him deal with some of the problems of his post- traumatic stress disorder. Logan, who lives in the Felton, Calif., area, has been working with the Japanese art form of miniature trees for about 12 years and cur- rently has about 100 of the plants. "It's very calming and relaxing," he said. Around six years ago, he joined the Santa Cruz Bon- sai Kai Club (http://www.gsbf- bonsai.org/santacruzbon- saikai/) which meets twice a month and has been holding annual show for more than two decades. "You learn something new every day," said Logan, who attended a recent ses- sion, which focused on re- potting deciduous trees, trimming and wiring branches, and trimming roots. "You're always learn- ing." That idea of continuous learning is central to Bonsai Kai's core. In addition to its meetings for members, the club also holds a monthly session, open to everyone, that feature a demonstration on a particular technique followed by a workshop. lifestyles Bonsai aficionados never stop learning Those who argue together stay together MINNEAPOLIS (MCT) — When Bob Gubrud heard about a survey saying that arguing with your spouse at least once a week makes for stronger, longer marriages, he chuckled as he quipped sarcastically, "That must mean that our marriage is fantastic, because sometimes we have one a day." The Edina, Minn., man and his wife, Rosie, have been married 52 years, so they're clearly doing something right. According to marriage counselors, their disagreements can help them iron out small differences before they become major issues. The survey, released this month, found that 44 percent of married couples believe that fighting more than once a week helps keep the lines of communication open. While that survey was done in India, it reinforces similar studies that have been done in the United States, said William Doherty, a professor in the University of Minnesota's Department of Family Social Science. The studies come with a couple of caveats, he added: MCT photo Ed Valencia, of Soquel, pots a bonsai tree during the monthly meeting of the Bonsai Kai Club at the Live Oak Grange Hall. Contrary to some mis- conceptions, bonsai isn't a particular species or type of tree. Instead, bonsai can be practiced with a wide vari- ety of trees. The name itself comes from the Japanese word "bon," which is a small tray-like pot that's typ- ically used in the art of bon- sai. The practice itself involves cultivation tech- niques like pruning, root reduction, potting and graft- ing to produce small trees that mimic the shape and style of mature, full-sized trees. They can come in dif- ferent sizes, with a cap of 4 feet in height. Current Bonsai Kai pres- ident, Ron Anderson, says it's a delicate art that can help with stress alleviation. Anderson has a background in law enforcement and practicing bonsai helps him achieve a sense of balance and harmony, he said. Anderson has been a part of the club, which has about 80 members who range in age from teenagers to those in their 90s, for nearly five years. Before that, he'd always been "really into Japanese gardening." At a bonsai show, he won three of the little trees in a raffle, and pretty soon, he'd been bitten by the bonsai bug. He estimates that he now has somewhere between 100 and 150 bonsai trees of his own. "You learn most of the information about bonsais from your peers," he said. "And the more you learn, the more you realize how much you don't know." Ways to save on your next trip to Hawaii (MCT) — "Who would go to Hawaii in June?" a friend asked when I talked about a trip I took to Maui last year. A travel writer on a budget, for one. I, too, was skep- tical about the timing, but the weather was a perfect 70-80 degrees, with low humidity and evenings cool enough to sleep without AC. By planning my trip in the first week in June — after spring break and before school let out for the summer — I found deals on airfare and hotels that weren't there for travel earlier or later. Visiting Hawaii dur- ing the slower seasons — early February and early March, late May, early June or fall — is one strategy for making trav- el more affordable. But if that's not possible, don't give up. There are other ways to save: • Getting there: Airfares are higher this year, so flexibility will be key. Travel midweek, if possible, and if you're still not having any luck, try moving your dates by a day or a week or two. To find the least travel dates, expensive consult low-fare calen- dars on websites such as Kayak.com and Alaskair.com. around: • Getting Renting a car off-airport can save $100 or more on a week's rental. Exam- ple: Enterprise recently quoted $399, including taxes, as the weekly rate for a Chevy Aero picked up at the airport in Hon- olulu. The price fell to $240 for pickup at sever- al other locations just a few miles away. Agencies with off-air- port locations can't pick you up at the airport. You'll need a cab for that. Georgia Seeliger's Needle Arts Estate Sale & Swap Meet Feb. 4TH Canned Food Donation 623 Main Street Admission: Vendors welcome 529-3298 Plus Park on Pine St. • 8 to 4 PM But most will take you back. Oahu, Maui, Kauai and the Big Island have inexpensive public bus service. • Where to stay: "Buyer beware" are the watchwords when it comes to sifting though advertised "deals" for hotels, rentals and vaca- tion packages. Hidden cleaning and resort fees, parking and taxes can lift the bottom-line price higher than it first appears. Online-booking sites can turn up deals, but check first directly with hotels. They might offer the same or a lower rate as a web special, and AAA or AARP rates might be less. Other lodging tips: • Score a room for half-price by bidding on Priceline (www.price- line.com), the website that lets you name a price and pick a hotel's star rating and location but doesn't reveal the name until after you've paid. Check www.bid- dingfortravel.com for tips. • Find lodging in homes, cottages and con- dos at www.airbnb.com.Among its listings is a $69 room on a Big Island farm and an $85 condo with a pool near Ala Moana Beach Park in Honolulu. • Vacation Rentals by Owner (www.vrbo.com) is a reliable site with hundreds of listings and photos for homes and condos. $ 15 Off regular price With this ad! • Same Day Service • Free E-File • Check Our Price • Over 45 Years Experience P. Ralph Campbell, EA Enrolled Agent Daniele Jackson 530-529-9540 855 Walnut St. #2, Red Bluff For starters, nobody is recommending that you put down the newspaper and pick a fight with your spouse. It's also important to remember that there's a difference between "good fighting" and "bad fighting," and the latter can be as destructive as the former is beneficial. "What the studies have shown is that it's not so much whether couples get angry but how they handle it," he said. Sandy and Frank Burris of Prior Lake, Minn., have been married 56 years. Happily? Yes. Peacefully? Not always. "We do (argue) all the time," Sandy said. "There are lots of things we don't agree on. If we did agree all the time, it would be boring." Doherty seconded that sentiment. "Constructive con- flict can put a spark in a relationship," he said. "Love needs a spark every now and then." Katherine Youngblood of Edina said that by disagree- ing with each other, she and her husband of 54 years have figured out their mutual priorities. "You realize what issues are important and what's not so important," she said. Doherty said that arguing "helps couples recalibrate by addressing the things that are important to them. I see a lot of couples bury these things under the rug — and that rug ends up getting really lumpy." All things being equal, marriage counselor Bernie Slut- sky would rather have the couples who come into his Therapy for Relationships offices in St. Louis Park and Maple Grove, Minn., yell at each other than ignore each other. "At least they're trying to reach the other person," he said. "Sometimes it's a case of, 'You're not listening to me so I'm going to tell you louder,' and we have to tone that down. But it's still better than if they just sit there and stonewall each other. That's a lot more destructive." As for arguing in front of your children, counselors say it depends on the issue and the depth of feelings behind it. You don't want let children see you waging a war, but hav- ing them witness what Doherty calls "low-level skirmish- es" is healthier for everyone. "If they never see you argue, they're going to get a very unrealistic image of marriage," he said. "If it's hostile, con- temptuous, full of shouting and name-calling, that's bad. But if it's a small irritation that is addressed respectfully and the kids see that 15 minutes later you've gotten over it and everything is fine again, that's helpful." Arguing can be beneficial, but only if it's done right. FINDERS CHECK OUT OUR NEW INVENTORY KEEPERS Thrift & Antiques Tue-Sat: 10am-5pm In the Frontier Village Shopping Center 645 Antelope Blvd. 530 527-7798 Drew Barrymore's Beauty Secret Dermal-Ktm Best of Tehama County 2009 * 2010 * 2011 Mon.- Fri. 11am-6pm Sat. 11am-3pm 22825 Antelope Blvd. Red Bluff 528-0799 Now at Clark's Drug Store HOME OF THE BEST TRI-TIP THIS SIDE OF THE HUDSON RIVER 2 Bud's BBQ Are You Ready for Better Skin? Clark's Drug Store (530) 824-3502 2126 Solano Street Corning