Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/54502
8A Daily News – Friday, February 3, 2012 FEATURES Mooching mother misuses my money Dear Annie: I am one of nine children. There is a large age gap between us because my younger sib- lings are from a second mar- riage. They are 3, 5 and 7. Since moving out a few years ago, I have begun to see my mother in a different light. As a child, whenever I needed something, I was always told to ask my father because she ''didn't have the money.'' I accepted this. However, I now see how often Mom tells her children she doesn't have money for them, but somehow finds it for herself. She is a very selfish person. Several times in the past few years, she has called to say how upset she is that she has no money to get my younger siblings Halloween costumes or school supplies or to send them on field trips. I always step up and offer financial assistance. But I am beginning to notice that soon after helping her out, Mom somehow finds the money to go out to a nice dinner, take a trip or buy a new gadget for herself. I feel used and misled, but when I've said so, Mom replies that I'm inconsiderate and only care about money. A few times, she has threat- ened to not let me see my siblings if I keep being so ''rude and uncaring.'' What should I do? I love my siblings and don't want to lose contact. — Sibling Sup- port Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar Dear Sibling: Tell your mother you would be happy to get the kids Halloween costumes and school sup- plies — and then go get them. Don't give the money to Mom if you think she is misusing it. Instead, put it directly where the assistance is needed. But do it with the utmost concern and sincerity. Dear Annie: I am a woman who doesn't care much for babies. What do I say to those who expect me to hold their infant? Some people actu- ally thrust their little bundle into my arms without even asking. I have never had any desire to have children, and I don't see what the appeal is. Babies are messy, leaky, smelly and noisy, as well as demanding and expensive. I under- stand that not all women feel as I do, so when I'm around mothers, I say nice things about their kids and have positive comments when shown pic- tures. However, these same parents are shocked to learn that I am not as thrilled with their little darlings as they are. Is there a nice way to say, ''I think your baby is sweet, but I feel more comfortable when the little tyke is on someone else's lap''? — Not a Mommy Dear Not: No matter how nice you are, some people will be offend- ed that you don't admire their child as much as they do. If they ask you to hold the baby, reply with alarm, ''Oh, no, I couldn't possibly. I'm afraid I would drop it.'' If they push the baby toward you, put your hands up and back away. You are under no obligation to participate in this ritual, and if others can't understand your attitude, so be it. Dear Annie: ''Hurt and Confused in Wisconsin'' said her husband's stepmother is emotionally abusive. She had trouble reconciling this with the biblical command to honor thy mother and father. I am a minister who has coun- seled many in this position. ''Honor thy mother'' means do not speak to or about a parent in a disrespectful manner and do not treat them hurt- fully. Do not refuse help for an hon- est need. Do not exploit or abuse them. However, some people are nasty and cannot be reasoned, pushed or coerced into changing. Catering to their behavior only makes it worse. It is possible to honor thy mother from a distance, so I recommend they have as little contact as possible. I will keep them in my prayers. — Mishawaka, Ind. Audubon Society activities in February Altacal Audubon Program and Field Trip activities for February are as follows: February Program - Monday, Feb. 20, 6:30 p.m., Chico Creek Nature Center, Uganda's Extraordinary Birds & Gorillas with DRS. Roger Lederer and Carol Burr. Uganda is known for the vicious reign of Idi Amin from 1971-1979 and the 1976 hostage rescue by the Israeli Spe- cial Forces at the Entebbe Airport. Only recently has Ugan- da become a tourist destination, primarily because of its mountain gorilla population. Few people are aware that Uganda is also a world class birding destination, with 1100 species of birds to be found in a country the size of Oregon. The variety of birdlife is also spectacular, ranging from drongos, gonoleks, and waxbills, 22 species of cuckoos, 17 hornbills, and 25 barbets to the fan-tailed widowbird and the rare shoebill stork, "a most extraordinary bird." Join Drs. Roger Lederer and Carol Burr for a virtual trip through Uganda to visit some of these most amazing birds, and make a short visit to the mountain gorillas. Field Trips • Saturday, Feb. 11, - Second Saturday- Upper Bidwell Park Trip Leaders: Steve King and Raina King The Second Saturday trip in February will be in Upper Bidwell Park. Even this early in the new year, some birds will be thinking of spring. We could get nesting Great Horned Owls, Western Bluebird, Ruby-crowned Kinglet, Golden-crowned Sparrow, Oak Titmouse, lots of AcornWoodpeckers, White-breasted Nuthatch, and Nut- tall's Woodpecker. After birding Horseshoe Lake and around the parking lot, we will head up the canyon to the Yahi Trail, follow it along Big Chico Creek, as far as time permits:2-3 miles, round trip. We usually turn around at the Day Camp parking lot and choose a different trail and get back to the cars by 12:30 p.m. Meet at 9 a.m. at the parking lot on the left just past the gun club and Horseshoe Lake. Follow Wildwood Ave for 1.75 miles and turn left just before the gate. Bring binocu- lars, water, snacks, walking shoes and proper clothing for weather. Rain cancels. Contact Steve King at 530-566- 6136. • Saturday, Feb. 18, Gray Lodge Wildlife Area Trip Leader: Mauricio Schrader Gray Lodge Wildlife Area is the largest wildlife refuge in Butte County and has huge flocks of migratory waterfowl at this time of year. This is also a good trip for raptors, spar- rows, and other wintering songbirds. We will hike some of the trails and do the auto tour loop. Meet at the Chico Park and Ride lot nearest the freeway at 9 a.m. and return by 3 p.m. Bring binoculars, field guide, warm clothes, water, and a snack or lunch. There is a $4 admission fee per person and you will need exact change. For more information, contact Mauricio Schrader at 530-894-4025 or mschrader@nsradi- ology.com. Rain cancels. All programs and activities are free of cost unless other- wise indicated and are open to the public. For more infor- mation about specific activities contact Altacal Audubon Society Publicity Chair Wayland Augur at 530-519-4724 or email wba@acm.org. Worried about drinking? Stop DEAR DOC- TOR K: I've always enjoyed an occasional drink, but often lately I've been reaching for a glass of wine to help me relax. Could I have problem? a DEAR READ- ER: Just the fact that you're wor- ried raises a red flag for me. If your drinking cre- ates difficulty for you per- sonally, socially or at work, then your drinking may be a problem. Several screening tests can help determine if you have a drinking problem. For example, answer the following questions: — Have you ever felt you should cut down on your drinking? — Have people annoyed you by criticizing your drinking? — Have you ever felt guilty or bad about your drinking? — Have you ever had a drink first thing in the morning to steady your nerves, get rid of a hang- over or as an eye-opener? If you responded "yes" to any one of these ques- tions, you may have a drinking problem. If you responded "yes" to more than one question, it's highly likely that you have a problem. If you can see that your drinking is not only caus- ing you concern but caus- ing you problems, you may be abusing alcohol. What kind of problems do I mean? For example: — You've been failing to fulfill major work, school or home responsi- bilities. — You've been drink- ing in situations where it's physically dangerous to do so (like while driving a car). — You've been drink- ing despite relationship problems caused or wors- ened by drinking. Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. We've all seen people who get moderately drunk: They become loud and argumentative and say inappro- priate things. We've seen people who get very drunk: Their speech is slurred, they stagger when they walk, they drink themselves into a stupor. They have with- drawal symptoms such as sweating, shaking or nau- sea if they don't have a drink. It's tempting to tell yourself, "Well, I'm not like that, so I don't have a drinking problem." But if you responded "yes" to any of the first four ques- tions, or if you have any of the problems mentioned above, you probably do have a drinking problem, or are well on the way to one. So what you should be telling yourself when you see someone who clearly is drunk is that you're lucky you don't have a serious problem — yet. You also should under- stand that you could be on the road to a serious prob- lem, and that the sooner you deal with it, the more you will be able to turn it around. We have a lot more information on problem drinking and what to do about it in our Special Health Report, "Alcohol Use and Abuse." You can find out more about it at my website. Talk to your doctor about your concerns. If there's a chance you have a problem, work with your doctor to determine the best treatment options for you. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. Top industries for complaints in 2011 — Cars, Internet Better Business Bureau Thursday released its list for top complaints and top inquiries in 2011 for the Northeast California area, with auto-related services topping the list. Consumers and busi- nesses contacted BBB serving Northeast Cali- fornia over 969,000 times in 2011, a 19 per- cent increase from 2010. Reasons for contact ranged from receiving general consumer advice to filing complaints against businesses. "Some industries' complaint volumes remained steady, while others, such as internet shopping saw a signifi- cant increase," said Gary Almond, president of BBB serving Northeast California. "It's a big indicator of the chang- ing face of commerce when internet shopping complaint volume dou- bles in one year." Following is the list of top industries for complaints in 2011. Sta- tistics gathered are for the northeast California service area. New Cars Services 1. Auto Dealers – 2. Auto Repair and 3. Auto Dealers – Used Cars 4. Auto Service Con- tract Companies 5. Internet Shopping 6. Attorneys 7. Furniture – Retail 8. Retail Stores 9. Auto Parts and Supplies – New 10. Cable TV, Inter- net and Telephone Installers The regional Better Business Bureau of Northeast California services 24 counties. Drew Barrymore's Beauty Secret Dermal-Ktm The BBB is an unbiased non-profit organization that sets and upholds high standards for fair and honest business behavior. The BBB provides objective advice, free business BBB Business Reviews, charity BBB Wise Giving Reports and educational infor- mation on topics affect- ing marketplace trust. To further promote Now at Clark's Drug Store trust, the BBB offers complaint and dispute resolution support for consumers and business- es when there is differ- ence in viewpoints. The first BBB was founded in 1912. Today, 116 BBBs serve com- munities across the U.S. and Canada, evaluating and monitoring more than three million local and national businesses and charities. For more information visit: www.bbb.org. Are You Ready for Better Skin? $3500 in Discount Coupons were published last week in the D NEWSAILY RED BLUFF TEHAMACOUNTY … And that does not Count all the ads offering percentage discounts, two-for-ones and Free-with-Purchase offers! Clark's Drug Store (530) 824-3502 2126 Solano Street Corning Don't miss a Day of it! Subscribe Today 527-2151 It pays for itself.