Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/539878
DILBERT ScottAdams PEARLSBEFORESWINE StephanPastis PICKLES BrianCrane BABYBLUES JerryScott&RickKirkman PHOEBEANDHERUNICORN DanaSimpson ZITS JerryScott&JimBorgman SHERMAN'SLAGOON JimToomey ARGYLESWEATER ScottHilburn BIZARRO DanPiraro DEARAMY»Ihavebeen through a lot with a friend of mine. Three years ago her son was found dead. He drank and had gotten in a fight with his girlfriend. His death was violent. The authorities ruled it as a suicide but my friend thinks that the girl mur- dered him. Every time we get together she starts talk- ing about how that girl needs to pay. She starts telling me the story again and it ends with us both crying. I cannot imagine the pain she is going through, but I get to where I don't want to be around her. Our husbands are friends and I keep making excuses not to be around. How can I help her to find closure and peace? I have suggested counseling and she says it wouldn't help. —DevastatedFriend DEAR DEVASTATED » This is truly tragic, illustrating how a traumatic death continues to resonate in widening circles over time. Forget about closure. When a parent loses a child, there is no such thing as closure. The most a parent can hope for is the ability to cope day to day, so that the loss gets easier over time. Your friend definitely needs professional help. She may be avoiding it in part because she needs to cling to her own ideas of how her son died. Suicide is the hardest kind of death to bear; the unan- swered questions rattle around. To preserve your friendship, be honest. When her ruminating starts, interrupt the cycle by offering her a hug. "I'm so sorry. I feel powerless. Please get help." Offer to take your friend to a survivor group of parents. Check The Compassionate Friends website (compassionatefriends. org). Grief is isolating. Don't give up on her. DEAR AMY » It's road trip time! We will be recon- necting with old friends along the way. These are people we haven't seen in a long time. We'll be stay- ing at hotels. Is there a clear but respectful way to commu- nicate our preference that we'd love to just hang out with them in their home and eat leftovers or BBQ rather than going out? Our friends will insist on paying but we'll be driving far and prefer a break from eating out. The point of o ur visi t is to relax and reconnect — and not incur a restau- rant bill from them. — Simple Pleasures in LA DEAR SIMPLE PLEASURES » This is a tricky, be- cause you have to take into account that some people might not want to host you. Going out might seem much easier for them. Otherwise, say, "We're eating out a lot on our road trip and so I'm wondering if it would be OK if we could visit with you at your house? We'd be happy with leftovers and simply want to enjoy your company. We'll pick up ingredients and help with cooking if that would be helpful." If your friends demur, accept their choice. Mother cannot let go of grief and rage, hurting friendship You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@tribune.com and follow her on Twitter @askingamy. Amy Dickinson Ask Amy Sudoku Instructions:Theobjectistoplacethe numbers1to9intheemptysquaresso thateachrow,eachcolumnandeach 3x3boxcontainsthenumberonlyonce. AnswertoPreviousPuzzle CelebrityCipher ByLuisCampos Instructions:CelebrityCiphercryptogramsarecreatedfromquotationsbyfamouspeople, pastandpresent.Eachletterinthecipherstandsforanother. NEACrossword Cancer(June21-July22)— Donate your time and skills to an organization concerned with improving the environment or making positive changes in your community. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) — Be true to your word. Broken promises will cause pain and frustration to those who care about you. If you can't make a commitment, say so. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) — The more information you gather, the easier your choice will be. Ask others who have been in similar situations for advice. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) — Keep a close watch on your assets and make sure that your insurance and other personal documents are current. Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) — Put your plans into action. It's time to step up your game. Sound out your friends and colleagues for ideas on how to make the most of your skills, knowledge and talents. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) — Put some effort into improving your job prospects. Follow the want ads, search online and network all you can. Opportunities are present, so be bold and go get them. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) — Positive change should be your goal. Self-improvement projects or home renovations or repairs will enhance your life. You will be proud of the results you achieve. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) — Be cautious about sharing your secrets. Someone will be looking to claim your ideas as his or her own. The less said about an important project, the better. Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20) — Negativity and dissatisfaction will lead to depression. Boost your spirits by getting together with friends. Spending time with others will leave you less time to brood over something you cannot change. Aries (March 21-April 19) — Gambling or overspending must be avoided. Careful budgeting will be the key to easing your stress. Save up for a trip that will open your eyes to different cultures and philosophies. Taurus (April 20-May 20) — Expect to feel emotionally taxed. Don't try to please ev- eryone else when you're the one who needs a break. Do whatever it takes to engage in something that makes you feel good. Gemini (May 21-June 20) — Be discreet. Being too open about your plans will lead to problems. Someone will try to use your words against you and jeopardize your reputation. Horoscope By Eugenia Last FRIDAY, JULY 10 | YOURDAILYBREAK | REDBLUFFDAILYNEWS.COM FRIDAY, JULY 10, 2015 4 B