Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/52879
Tuesday, January 17, 2012 – Daily News 5A FEATURES Heinous head handiwork hews household Dear Annie: We have five grown children. One of our sons, ''Mark,'' obtained a contractor's license and asked to remodel our kitchen and bathroom so he could show his work to potential customers. He said the only cost to us would be for materials, which he estimated to be about $300. Mark has always been a troubled kid and stubborn to a fault. He especially doesn't like taking advice or sug- gestions from others. My husband and I decided to limit his first attempt to the bathroom. We figured the risk would be worth it, because he had asked so little of us in the past. Also, he is a good carpenter and has made some lovely furniture. You probably already guessed what happened. Mark did a terrible job. He ignored our requests and didn't do what he said he would, and we were left with some major problems. When we asked for an itemized bill, we got one line: ''Total amount due, $400.'' After we explained our feelings to him, he walked out and hasn't spoken to us since. That was two years ago. After months of having our cards and gifts returned, my husband and I finally decided to leave him alone and hope he will come around. We didn't invite him for Thanksgiving, as he ruins the holiday for us. Now our daughter is upset, saying she wants him at all the family gather- Question Isn't it illegal for someone other than the owner of a sport crab trap to pull, move or tamper with the trap and then take the crabs from inside? What about taking someone else's traps and buoys or cutting off the attached rope? A lot of crab thefts have been going on along the Califor- nia Central Coast this year and so I have resorted to using padlocks on my trap doors to discourage the theft of the crabs inside. Is there an issue with this? (Mike W.) Answer It is illegal to disturb, move or damage any trap, or remove any salt- water crustacean from a trap, that belongs to another person without having writ- ten permission in posses- sion from the owner of the trap (California Code of Regulations Title 14, sec- tion 29.80 (a)(3) and Fish and Game Code, section 9002(a)). Regarding the use of padlocks to secure your trap doors and discourage theft, there is no law against it but it is not advised. Unlike Auto Recycling Inc. *WILL PAY CASH FOR JUNK CARS* Quality Used Parts for Less 824-2880 10 ACRES OF INVENTORY Highway 99W & Capay Road (Halfway between Corning & Orland) 22521 Capay Road, Corning CA. 96021 Mon-Fri 8am-5pm • Sat. 9am-2pm All Star • DOMESTIC • FOREIGN • PICK-UPS ings. But it's uncomfortable to be around Mark, because he won't speak to us. I feel we are being punished for his immaturity. How do we mend this terrible rift? — Sad Mom Dear Sad: You already Annie's Mailbox by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar know that Mark is difficult and stubborn, and he may never ''come around.'' Excluding him is one way to make things easier for you. But if you want him to be part of the family, you will have to do the heavy lifting and be very forgiving. Tell Mark that you love him and would like to pretend the bathroom construction never happened, if that's OK with him. Another suggestion would be to have your other children act as intermedi- aries to effect a reconciliation or to have family gatherings in their homes instead of yours. Dear Annie: Through 30 years of marriage, my husband has cheated on me with many different women. I found out a couple of years ago. At first, I tried to change to please him — my looks, my clothes, my hair, my personal interests — but nothing worked. Once I came to terms with the fact that his ''adven- tures'' will not stop and my feelings don't matter, I decided to plan my departure. When I make my move, it will be with a definite plan, a calm heart and a clear head. I am working, seeing friends and family, and putting away funds for my future. I still love my husband, but I no longer need him. I have stopped telling others, because the only ''support'' I get is in the form of others trashing him, telling me what I ought to do, or laughing about his ultimate demise. This doesn't help. Those who want to be supportive can say, ''I'm sorry you're going through this. How are you doing?'' That would be much appreciated. — Bid- ing My Time in the South Dear Biding: Many people believe trashing the ex is supportive, but it often backfires. Thank you for being the Voice of Experience. Dear Annie: Thank you for encouraging ''Road Warrior'' to seek the help of Grandma's doctor, the DMV or the police to get her to stop driving. My husband's family didn't do anything, and the result was a tragedy. Grandpa pulled out on a highway in front of another car. The collision killed both grandparents. While saddened by their deaths, we count our blessings that another life wasn't lost in the crash, although a young man will live with the memo- ries of an accident he couldn't pre- vent. — Don't Wait Until It Is Too Late Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. Outdoor Q&As: Crab trap thievery to your local warden or through CalTIP at 1-800- 334-2258. Can duck club mem- bers hunt specks beyond the regular season? Question The current commercial crab traps, sport traps are not required to contain a destruct device to allow the crabs to escape in the event the trap is lost. Without this device, a lost trap will remain closed and continue fishing/killing crabs for many years to come. According to Depart- ment of Fish and Game (DFG) Lt. Andy Roberts of the P/V Marlin out of Berkeley, from an ethical standpoint to ensure this doesn't happen, we suggest using a closing mechanism that will eventually disinte- grate and allow any trapped crabs to escape. One sug- gestion is to tie the lid shut with a single strand of M-F 6am-2pm* Now on Facebook Rosser's Bakery & Specialty Foods untreated cotton twine size No. 120 or less. If you want to keep using padlocks, another option is one that commercial crabbers use. You can cut away part of the wire mesh for the trap, and then weave cotton twine in the hole large enough for the crabs to escape (for commercial traps the open- ing has to be five inches in diameter). This way you can still secure the trap, and if your trap is lost it will not continue fishing/killing crabs for years. It will also allow you to remove crabs should your padlock get rusted shut. If you suspect someone is illegally disturbing your traps, be sure to report this Complete bakery setup for breads, muffins, scones, etc. Easily expandable for more. Rosser's Bakery, call Wendy at 200-4150 446 Antelope Blvd. #38 Left side of Antelope Holiday Mkt 529-1687 For Sale Crafter's Boutique This week featuring Hand Crafted Aprons 650 Main St. Red Bluff Tues.-Fri. 10-4 • Sat. 11-3 Closed Sun. & Mon. 530 528-2723 1010 Jefferson St., Red Bluff COMPLETE AUTO REPAIR All makes and models. We perform dealer recommened 30K, 60K, 90K SERVICES AT LOWER PRICES Smog Check starting at $ (most cars and pick-ups) 2595 + cert. Pass or FREE retest 527-9841 • 195 S. Main St. Respecting People. Impacting Business Call us. And get back to work. Call us any time for: • An extensive network of recruiting sources • Testing and training • Experienced recruiters • Full-time employees • HR expertise and support services • Temporary Workers • Evaluation hire • Carefully screened candidates • Dedicated service www.expresspros.com 530-527-0727 243 So. Main Street Gold Exchange 423 Walnut St., Red Bluff • 528-8000 Check us out on T-F 10am-5:30 pm • Sat. 10 am-4 pm Pawnbroker with a Heart facebook.com/redbluffgoldexchange Complete Dental Care • Cosmetic Dentistry • Adults And Children • New Patients Warmly Welcomed! www.MooreandPascarella.com Coin & Militaria Collections 527-7800 waterfowl season regula- tions show a special speck and snow goose season from Feb. 18-22 for the Bal- ance of the State. Do people like me who belong to a duck club located in the speck closed zone (usually after Dec. 15) get to hunt specks into February? (Andre) Answer No, white- fronted goose hunting is not allowed in the "speck closed zone", officially the Sacra- mento Valley Special Man- agement Area, or SMA, during the late season goose hunt, which is Feb. 18-22. Carrie Wilson is a marine biologist with the California Department of Fish and Game. Write her at CalOutdoors@dfg.ca.gov. Panic disorder can be overcome DEAR DOC- TOR K: In the past year I've had five panic attacks. Now I'm always worried I'm going to have another, at any moment. Is there anything I can do to prevent them? DEAR READ- ER: Panic attacks can be very unset- tling. All of a sudden, you are filled with extreme fear or terror. You may be short of breath, have palpitations, chest pain, sweating or feel a smothering sensation. You probably fear that you are losing control. You might even think you are about to die. A panic attack usually lasts five to 30 minutes. But it can continue for several hours. Sometimes the attacks occur in stressful situations, but often they begin for no apparent rea- son. They can even wake you from deep sleep. For my patients who suffer from panic attacks, the worst part about them is their unpredictability. If certain things seem to trig- ger panic attacks — like dining in crowded restau- rants — they avoid them. Panic attacks are sur- prisingly common: About 5 percent of women and 2 percent of men suffer from them at some point in their lives. In my experience, panic attacks are not always accurately diag- nosed. Some of my patients tell me they've had panic attacks, but describe some- thing different and even more common: being ner- vous a lot of the time. In contrast, panic attacks come like a bolt out of the blue and can end just as quickly. A mental health professional is best quali- fied to make a diagnosis. Most illnesses stem from a combination of genes and the external envi- ronment. Panic attacks are no exception. They run in families. Identical twins (who share the same genes) are more likely to both have panic attacks than non- identical twins (who share only some genes). Various imaging studies have found that the Dr. K by Anthony L. Komaroff, M.D. parts of the brain that control fear are different in people who suffer from panic attacks. In other words, some people are born with a higher risk of suffering panic attacks. At the same time, stress- ful situations (the external environ- ment) often trigger the attacks. Treatment often elimi- nates panic attacks or makes them less intense. Antidepressants known as selective serotonin reup- take inhibitors (SSRIs) are very effective for panic dis- order. The SSRIs fluoxe- tine (Prozac), sertraline (Zoloft) and paroxetine (Paxil) are commonly pre- scribed. Antidepressants can take several weeks to work, so they are often combined with a short course of anti- anxiety drugs that work more quickly. Examples of these drugs are diazepam (Valium) and alprazolam (Xanax). Medication often works best when combined with cognitive and/or behavior therapy. Cognitive therapy teaches patients to recog- nize the unreasonableness of the fears that cause panic. Behavior therapy may include gradual expo- sure to fear-provoking sit- uations or using breath control as a way to fight panic. Finally, eliminating or reducing caffeine (which can promote panic attacks) is essential. We have more informa- tion on panic disorders in our Special Health Report, "Coping With Anxiety and Phobias." You can find out more about it at my web- site. With appropriate treat- ment, you'll find that panic disorder no longer has to rule your thoughts or your actions. Dr. Komaroff is a physician and professor at Harvard Medical School. Go to his website to send questions and get additional information: www.AskDoctorK.com. THE HUNGRY Serving South Central Tehama County Community Outreach Food Ministry of Los Molinos and FOOD FOR Cone United Methodist Churches wishes to thank the Los Molinos Community and surrounding areas for their generous support in helping needy families this holiday season and beyond.. Food drive participants included: • Los Molinos Elementary and High School • Lassen View • Gerber • Vina Elementary • Umpqua Bank • NuWay Market • Jill's Market • Red Barn • Los Molinos Market and Deli • Central Tehama Kiwanis • Los Molinos Chamber of Commerce • Dr. Strawberry Weber • North State Barrel Racing Assn. • Pschyo gym • our United Methodist Church congregations Local business that set out collection jars included: • Burger Shack • Umpqua Bank • Jack's Restaurant • Latimer's Pharmacy • Los Molinos Market and Deli • Roxie's • Los Molinos Ace Hardware • Sys Auto • Jill's Market • Mill Creek Restaurant • Red Barn • NuWay Market Thank you to I-5 Tire for the use of their trailer & support of our program Special Thanks to all of our supporters and volunteers that helped Food for the Hungry outreach ministry reach 166 families this holiday season. Because of your help we will be able to continue to aid families throughout 2012. 100% of all donations go directly to the families served. All work and travel is volunteered and donated. No donations were used to pay for this thank you ad