Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/528348
22 UCW JUNE 17-23, 2015 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Dork Matter I'm just out of a bad relationship and ready to start dating. I recently met a guy I liked at the mall. There was definitely a physical attraction, and we had a lot in common, but not an hour after we met, he sent me a text that said, "Miss you already." That set off red flags for me. Sweet or creepy? I'm on the fence. — Want To Be Charitable Socially clueless guys will sometimes dig around in the "Chicks Love This Stuff" bin, pull out some romantic-sounding line and lay it on a woman, hoping it'll stick. They don't get that prematurely expressed affection can creep women out. Sure, his "Miss you already" sounds like a sweet sentiment. But using it before real feeling has time to develop can suggest that one's underlying motivation is not "Can't wait to take you to Paris" but maybe "Can't wait to keep you in a crate under my bed." That's probably where your intuition is taking you. Intuitions — gut feelings — are judgments we arrive at without conscious reasoning. Your brain compares input from your current environment with prior situations (from your past and your evolutionary past), looking for patterns that suggest danger is afoot. The thing is, these alerts are often wrong. But that actually isn't a bad thing. Evolutionary psychologists Martie Haselton and David Buss find that we seem to have evolved to make the less costly error — like your erring on the side of red-flagging a guy because it's less costly for you to end up home alone on a Saturday night than to end up crated or dead. Should you override your weirdo-dar? It can feel unfair to write somebody off on the basis of one yicky remark. But if you're going to take a risk, it should be an informed risk, meaning that you use information about past behavior (which you're rather short on) to predict the likelihood a situation will go south. You also factor in your ability to deal if it does. Like if he turns stalker, will you be all "Not gonna make it through the armed guards and the moat around my house" or "My neighbors in 4B would cheerfully buzz in Charles Manson"? On the other side of informed risk is "cross my fingers and hope it turns out okay," which, given the level of information you have, is pretty much where you are now. However, the reality is, sometimes throwing caution to the wind makes sense, like if the guy in question seems to be the last man on earth or your last shot before eternal spinsterhood. If this is the case, it would probably be prudent to pair your high hopes with a bedside Taser, on the off chance Mr. Right turns out to be Mr. Right Outside In Your Bushes. AMY ALKON Copy right 2015 WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD Silicon Valley code-writers and engineers work long hours — with apparently little time for "food" as we know it. Eating is "time wasted," in the words of celebrity inventor Elon Musk, and normal meals a "marketing facade," said another valley bigwig. The New York Times reported in May that techies are eagerly scarfing down generic (but nutrient-laden) liquids like Schmilk and People Chow, largely for ease of preparation, to speed their return to work. The Times food editor described one product as "oat flour" washed down with "the worst glass of milk ever." "Pancake batter," according to a Times reporter. (That supermarket staple Ensure? According to the food editor, it's "fine wine" compared to Schmilk.) [New York Times, 5-25-2015] Distracted Americans Air travelers last year left $675,000 in (obviously) spare change in airport screening bins, reported the Transportation Security Administration in April. Of the cars reported stolen in 2014, 44,828 were with keys left inside them, according to an April National Insurance Crime Bureau release. American credit card holders fail to claim "about $4 billion" in earned "rewards" each year, according to CardHub.com's 2015 Credit Card Rewards Report. [Time magazine, 4-7- 2015] [Bloomberg Business, 4-27-2015] [CardHub report (undated except for the year)] Our Least Hardy Generation (1) Nursing student Jennifer Burbella filed a lawsuit against Misericordia University (near Scranton, Pennsylvania) for not helping her enough to pass a required course that she failed twice. The professional caregiver-to-be complained of stress so severe that she needed a distraction- free room and extra time for the exam, but claims she deserved even more special treatment. (2) Four Columbia University students complained in May that courses in Greek mythology and Roman poetry need "trigger" warnings — advance notice to super-sensitive students that history may include narratives of "disturbing" events (that have somehow been studied without such warnings for centuries). [Fox News, 5-13-2015] [Washington Post, 5-14-2015] Copyright CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, assess a situation before acting. Only then can you have a clear view and map out an appropriate course of action. Find a friend who can help with your plan. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Taurus, relationships are challenging but well worth the effort. Nurture an existing relationship and do your best to see things through the other's perspective. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 Gemini, a hectic week makes it hard to keep track of all the things you need to get done in the coming days. Focusing on being organized will go a long way. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 Cancer, solutions to a difficult problem become more clear when you take a break and find a new perspective. This break is just what you need to crack that egg. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, others are looking to you for advice, so do your best to provide thoughtful suggestions. Your point of view and demeanor make others very trusting of your advice. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 The only person who can help you this week is you, Virgo. Be optimistic and trust your instincts as you tackle the tasks at hand over the next several days. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Happy times are on the horizon, Libra. You just have to make it through a few more obstacles before you can reach the finish line and relax. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Scorpio, when it rains it pours, but this week there is not a cloud in sight. Enjoy the next several days as everything seems to be going your way and turning up roses. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, provide some support and encouragement when a friend comes to you for help in the coming days. Just being there to listen might be all your friend needs. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Things are completely out of your hands this week, Capricorn. While you thought you would feel helpless, the experience may actually prove liberating for you instead. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 Aquarius, you have some time off coming up and you can't wait to make the most of this downtime. Start making your list of planned excursions. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 A helping hand will help you get out of a sticky situation, Pisces. You are lucky to have this person on your side. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard