Up and Coming Weekly is a weekly publication in Fayetteville, NC and Fort Bragg, NC area offering local news, views, arts, entertainment and community event and business information.
Issue link: https://www.epageflip.net/i/521442
JUNE 3-9, 2015 UCW 23 WWW.UPANDCOMINGWEEKLY.COM ADVICE GODDESS Rise and Spine My fiance is good friends with his ex- girlfriend from college. (We're all in our 30s.) She isn't a romantic threat, but she's become a source of stress. Long before I met my boyfriend, they began hanging out at a local bar together twice a week. They still do this, and I go along, but I've increasingly found these evenings a draining time-suck. When I don't want to go, my fiance hangs at home with me. This prompts a tantrum from his ex- girlfriend, complete with a barrage of angry texts. I've tried reasoning with her, but she claims that when he was single, he "dragged (her) out constantly" so he still owes her. My boyfriend is a laid-back, nonconfrontational kind of guy and just says she needs to calm down. — No Wonder They Broke Up It's your fiance's job to be "reasoning" with his friend, not yours. (You're marrying the guy, not adopting him and trying to get him into a good preschool.) You excuse his passivity by describing him as a "laid-back, nonconfrontational kind of guy." Well, there's laid-back, and there's confusing onlookers as to whether you're a person or a paperweight. The thing is, whether somebody gets to abuse you is usually up to you. In other words, your fiance needs to grow a pair (or at least crochet a pair and pop 'em in) and then get on the phone. Tell him that he needs to tell this woman — calmly and firmly — something like, "You know, lovey, I've got a fiancee now, and I can't be as available as I used to be." He needs to shut down the abusive text storm the same way, telling her, "Not acceptable. Cut it out," and then block her number if she keeps up the telephone thuggery. Sure, it's uncomfortable standing up to a person who's been treating you badly — an uncomfortable and necessary part of adult life. It's how you send the message "Nuh-uh…no more" instead of "Forever your tool." And here's a tip: You don't need to feel all cuddly and good about confronting somebody; you just need to do it, as opposed to cowering in fear as the Bing! Bing! Bings! of their texted multi-part tantrum come in on your phone. Start encouraging assertiveness in your fiance now, and keep letting him know how much you admire all the steps he takes. He could soon be a man who's got your back when there's trouble — and not just in the corner of his eye as he curls up in a fetal position and whimpers, "Donnnn't hurrrrt meeee!" AMY ALKON Copyright 2015 WEEKLY HOROSCOPES NEWS OF THE WEIRD by CHUCK SHEPPARD There's hardly a more "generic" song in America than "Happy Birthday to You," but to this day (until a judge renders a decision in a pending case), Warner/Chappel Music is still trying to make big dollars off of the 16-word ditty (15 original words plus a user- supplied 16th). Its original copyright should have expired, at the latest, in 1921, but amendments to the law and technicalities in interpretation (e.g., did the copyright cover all public uses or just piano arrangements?) bring Warner at least $2 million a year in fees. A federal judge in California is expected to rule soon on whether the song is in fact uncopyrightably "generic" — 125 years after the Hill sisters (Mildred and Patty) composed it. [CBS News, 3-27-2015] Can't Possibly Be True In April, WNBC- TV's investigative unit in New York City reported on a series of fetish parties in Manhattan reportedly organized by a licensed M.D., in which the consensual activities consisted of saline scrotal inflation, controlled near-asphyxiation and controlled arterial blood-letting (in which splatters are captured on a canvas as if made by a painter). An event organizer said the "Cirque de Plaisir" was more of a "performance art" display by a few body-modification aficionados than it was a fetish "party." Local governments were alarmed especially by the blood splatters' endangering onlookers and promised an investigation. [WNBC-TV, 4-29- 2015] Accused amateur serial tooth-puller Philip Hansen, 56, was convicted on two counts in May following a trial in Wellington (New Zealand) District Court. Several women had accused him, during 1988-2011, of holding their mouths open and wriggling teeth out with pliers (and in one case, a screwdriver), motivated by his attraction to "gummy women" as a prelude to sex. He apparently also lauded the "free" service he was providing, since real dentists, he said, would have charged the women. (Hansen allegedly told another woman, with full dentures, how "beautiful" she was — as he was removing the plates, crushing them and flushing them down a toilet.) [Stuff.co.nz, 4-30-2015; Dominion Post via Stuff.co.nz, 5-6-2015] Copyright CHUCK SHEPPARD ARIES - Mar 21/Apr 20 Aries, you have plans to rest, but you might be surprised at how fast you become bored with nothing to keep you busy. Relaxation may be difficult for you to master. TAURUS - Apr 21/May 21 Familiar memories resurface, Taurus. You may discover that nothing much has changed and you really need to buckle down to create new plans. GEMINI - May 22/Jun 21 A plan you laid out hits a snag this week, Gemini. Do not get discouraged, as your plans will only be delayed momentarily before things get back on track. CANCER - Jun 22/Jul 22 A new perspective can sometimes change everything, Cancer. Even if there are some bumps along the way, your optimism will ultimately prevail. LEO - Jul 23/Aug 23 Leo, you will be on the receiving end of more support and encouragement this week than you possibly know what to do with. Express your gratitude to loved ones. VIRGO - Aug 24/Sept 22 It's easy to see the possibilities ahead this week, Virgo. Take a practical approach when making plans and you will soon begin to achieve your goals. LIBRA - Sept 23/Oct 23 Libra, you may have a particular goal in mind for your relationship that hasn't come to fruition just yet. It may take a little more work for you to get to that solid place. SCORPIO - Oct 24/Nov 22 Others may struggle to decipher your thoughts, Scorpio. Sometimes you have to spell out what you need or want to get others on board with your ideas. SAGITTARIUS - Nov 23/Dec 21 Sagittarius, work appeals to you this week and you find yourself spending some extra time at the office. Just be sure to make time for your family. CAPRICORN - Dec 22/Jan 20 Capricorn, this week you are captivated by the innocent things in life. Enjoy this relaxing time to stop and smell the roses with your loved ones. AQUARIUS - Jan 21/Feb 18 It's alright to be a homebody for a few days this week, Aquarius. Revel in some quiet time at home and enjoy this chance to breathe easy and recharge your batteries. PISCES - Feb 19/Mar 20 Give your dreams time to develop in the weeks ahead, Pisces. If you rush things along, you may end up getting discouraged. Amy Alkon Chuck Sheppard Does your advertising leave you feeling this way? Advertising can be pretty complex. You may not know which way to turn. ere is a sign you can rely on — ours. Call us today so that our professionals can make the most of your advertising investment. Free Papers Working For You Another sign we're working for you.